I Wish I Were Todo...

The principal and my family had left me no other choice. It was time to right this wrong.

After school was done for the day, I decided to pay a visit to Hera's family in person so that I could apologize to Hera in person. Sure, I was shitting myself, but it was gonna happen one way or another.

After completing a round of my favorite game, Soulcalibur VI, I slipped on my favorite sneakers, placed my wallet in my back pocket and headed downstairs from my room.

"Mom! Dad!" I called up to my parents. "I'm going to Hera's!"

"Not without me, kiddo!" my dad immediately said. "Not without me! Someone's gotta make sure DaShawn doesn't kill you. Plus, I feel like this might end up being hilarious."

"Dad!" I said, annoyed. "Rude! Plus, before you ask, I'm not gonna tease her! Not in front of her family, anyway..."

He rolled his eyes and returned upstairs. And as soon as Dad got dressed and came downstairs from the master bedroom, we headed out to visit the family for the very first time.

Later, outside Hera's house, as Dad rang the Ring doorbell, I was feeling hella nervous.

But Dad could tell, and wasn't having it. He decided to torture me and pulled me around so I was in front of him.

"Who is it?" came the voice of Mrs. Nguyen from the speaker.

"It's the Davises," Dad answered. "We've come to visit you and your daughter."

I heard the door unlock, and as I watched, the door opened to reveal that it was actually Hera who opened the door. She had on her glasses. Hera beckoned me and Dad into the house. And she made sure, after we wiped our feet and cleared the doorway, to close the door behind us.

Minutes later, after we all got settled around the living room table, Mrs. Nguyen came upstairs after what sounded like she turned on the dryer in the washroom and joined us at the table.

"In the dean's office," I said, "I was told to apologize to Hera, sir and ma'am… madam? Anyway, I specifically told her, word for word, 'Hera, I'm sorry I insulted you on your love of anime and Japanese culture. I didn't realize just how much I hurt you inside. I didn't think that it would go so far as to actually hurt you.' Or something like that. And, I was also told by our principal, who happens to be half Japanese, that our classes would be switched to put us both in the same classes."

Seconds after I finished my sentence, Hera reached across the table and slapped me across the face. Dad held back a chuckle while Hera's dad looked at her with pride.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, holding my stinging cheek.

"That's for all the years of you fucking with me!" she said sternly, finally speaking.

Mr. Washington, who was way less scary-looking than he sounded, he was about my height and had no muscle mass, turned to me. "You deserved that. That little speech you just said was absolute bullshit. What, did daddy force you to say that? Well too bad, I'm not satisfied, and neither is Hera!" he turned to her. "Perfect hit, honey!" He high fived his daughter before turning back to me with a glare. Dad just watched on.

I cleared my throat. "I'm not gonna lie, sir. To be honest, I've been bullying her since eighth grade..."

He shot up from his seat but was yanked down by Hera.

"Do you realize that you could have led my daughter to committing suicide with all you've done?!" Mrs. Nguyen yelled. "We could've had you expelled from high school for it!"

"Well, she's still alive, so…" I tried to hide my guilt with a failed joke.

Suddenly Mr. Washington grabbed me by the collar, causing my dad to stand. "Are you fuckin kidding me? Do you know how many times Hera came home, moody and sad because of your bitch ass? Suicide isn't a goddamn joke! How dare you?" He shouted.

"I KNOW!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, on the brink of tears. "I would NEVER want a classmate of mine to kill themselves, especially because of me!" Everyone watched as they spilled down my face, I could no longer look Washington in the eye.

"I just don't like talking about suicide, that's all." I mumbled.

Washington looked up at my dad before pushing me back against the couch with a huff.

Hera decided to break the tense silence. "I know you're a horrible actor, so those tears must be real. I'm not forgiving you, but it's good to know you've got a heart in there somewhere."

I didn't expect any of that to come out of that girl's mouth.

"Thanks I guess… nerd."

Her parents snapped their heads at me. "Woah! It was a joke! Ever heard of humor?"

More silence. Disappointed silence from my dad, angry silence from her parents, and nerdy silence from Hera.

"...Anyway, I know we've still got like two hours but… how about that date?" I awkwardly asked.

She nodded, shrugging. "Dope, but I'm driving your car."

"What? Like hell you are!"

Dad suddenly tackled me to the ground, snatching my keys from my pocket. "Here you go!" He said, tossing them to her in a way that was actually pretty cool. What, a secret basketball player too? Damn!

"I still don't like this…" her mom said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, that little punk doesn't deserve our Hera! But I suppose it's fine, it's not like you're marrying her or something, heh…"

"Well then let's blow this dump!"

"The hell did you just say about my house?" Washington said. I sprinted to my car, Hera following.

As soon as we got in the car, with me in the passenger's side, oddly enough, Hera started its engine.

It felt weird not being able to drive my own car.

I decided to try to make small talk with Hera. "So, tell me, Hera," I said, "what's your sign?"

She ignored me.

"Tough crowd. Anyway, do you pour your milk before your cereal? Because if so, this will never work. It's kind of a deal breaker for me."

She ignored me again.

"Still nothing? Jeez… Um… Would you still love me if I told you that I shower with my socks on?"

That third question made her break. "What's with the dumbass questions? God! And I don't love you! Do you ever shut up? It's almost impressive how annoying you are."

"Hey, I was just trying to lighten the mood!" I yelled. Then, I snapped to instant realization. "Wait, you don't love me? Then why ask me on a date? I could be at home right now, you know!"

She stopped at the stoplight and grinned evilly. "Don't you worry about that just yet, JJ."

I cringed at the nickname. "Please, don't call me that…"

Her smile faded. "Right, I'm totally gonna respect the guy's wishes who literally bullied me for years. Not a chance in hell, JJ boy," she snapped.

"And I had to miss out on my NASCAR for this?" I mumbled. "This is such bullshit…"

"Now THAT'S bullshit right there! You and I both know that you really wanted to watch MHA!" she said. "Besides, that tough guy act you put on every day is see through! You're soft as baby shit!"

"Shut the hell up, ya damn nerd!" I yelled again.

"What are you, Bakugou now?" She looked over at me, but I didn't say anything. We all know I'd be Todoroki, only he is worthy of being compared to me. Just saying. "Yeah, yeah, fuck you, too."

And from that moment on, we were both silent until we arrived at the restaurant.

Once we pulled up to the restaurant, I tried to act like I had some sense and open the entry door for her, but as soon as I reached for the handle, it was sent right into my stomach.

"Ow! What the hell? I was trying to be chivalrous! Romantic!" I whined, grimacing in pain.

She cackled, pushing past me as she said, "Chivalry is dead, moron. I have hands, I can open it myself." So much for a date.

We walked into Rocky Range, not before she shoved me out of the way for trying to open the door for her. Seriously, how is that nerd so strong?

"Hello! Welcome to Rocky Range!" the hostess said. "How many of you are there tonight?"

"Just the two of us. Isn't that right, babe?"

She elbowed me in the ribs before nodding, and we were on our way to our seats.

"Here you are! Also, can I just say, you two are a gorgeous couple! Reminds me of when I was young and in love. It probably won't last, but you look nice together."

"...Thanks?" I said, looking at an equally confused Hera. There was an awkward pause before the woman, who's name tag read Lianne, handed us our menus.

"Oh, we won't be needing those." Hera said with an evil grin.

I scrunched my eyebrows. "But I've never been here before, I don't know what to-"

"Don't worry, babe, I know exactly what you should try." She turned to Lianne. "I'll have the ribeye meal, and my date over there will have the cow testicles!"

I suddenly cringed at what she had just ordered for me.

"That's very… adventurous of you!" Lianne said with a very fake smile.

I returned the favor, smile-glaring at Hera. "Yes, it is."

"Come on. Just trust me! Unless you'd like me to inform Lianne and the chefs who, mind you, could easily spit in your drinks, about what you did-"

"Cow balls it is!" I shouted with mock excitement. Lianne eyed us both before shrugging and writing it down, quickly shuffling away.

"Cow nuts? Really? What'd you do that for?" I asked Hera, suddenly not hungry.

She took a pause before sighing and leaning inward.

"Look, we both know you're a dick, and you are what you eat, but sadly that wasn't on the menu, so I had to go with the next best thing!"

"Great."

More uncomfortable silence and she cleared her throat.

"Listen, cuz I'm only saying this once. I'm giving you a chance to prove you aren't a complete piece of shit. If you really meant what you said back there, you'll do everything I tell you to do for a month. Consider this a role swap, if you will."

"W-wait a minute! A month?"

"Oh come on! You made my life hell for seven years. You can deal with a month, you child." She lowered her voice when she realized we were attracting attention. This was the one time where I didn't like it. "Hey, guess what we're doing on Monday!"

I rolled my eyes, not prepared to hear it.

She suddenly did Deku's attack pose and a VERY unflattering face.

"We're cosplaying together! At school! In front of everyone! And I'm forcing you to do at least one pose with me." She finished, looking way too pleased with herself.

"Aw, come on, ya damn nerd!" I said. "Do you realize how many people are gonna be up in that school laughing at me?"

"Are- Are you serious? All the times you got people to mock me? It's your turn, JJ. Don't start whining. Look, you'll even get to be Todoroki! And of course I'll be Momo since we're gonna be calling ourselves a couple."

"What? This is literally our first date! We're not a couple-"

"I know, right?! It's perfect! Everyone's gonna be mocking you, I'll gain popularity, and your social status will plummet! Maybe some secret otakus will come out of hiding too!"

"No, Hera! No, no no! I'm not some weeb otaku waifu boy! You will not strip me of my manliness! It's all I have!"

She laughed a bit before saying "You? Manly? Not in a million years, buddy. Try whiny, immature, and very annoying." She took a sip of her lemonade that had arrived while we were talking before continuing, "You don't really have a say in this, Senpai. Ooh! That's what I'll call you now!"

"God, what's wrong with you?! Senpai? God!" Never in my life had I wanted to chew on a bunch of testicles more. It beats talking to that extra.

She continued to rant about this and that, I wasn't listening if I'm being honest. It was probably some weird speech about why BTS will achieve world domination or something. Not-not that I would think that. She only shut up when our food came out.

"Here you are, m'lady!" The server guy said, sitting down a beautiful steak in front of her. His smile dropped when he looked at my meal. "And your… testicles, sir." He sat them down awkwardly as I stared at the weird garnish on them. "Enjoy… I guess… no one orders those unless they're doing it for YouTube or something. Yikes." he said before leaving. I sighed, wondering if she'd notice if I snuck one of her fries.

She noticed me glaring at her food. "What? Eat up your food, J-boy!" I ignored the stupid nickname and shook my head. "I'm not hungry. I filled up on… air on the way here."

"...do you think I'm that stupid? Eat!" She said, taunting me with her steak.

"Ugh! Fine!" I said, shoving a nut into my mouth. I was prepared for a foul, sour taste, maybe some liquid too, but to my surprise, it tasted just like chicken! Which is ironic, really.

Hera stopped chewing her stupid mouth when she saw me engulf the other one. "You're really… chowing down in those…"

"Fuck off." I said, enjoying my meal. Now it was apparently her turn to ask me stupid questions, all of which I ignored, until it was time to leave.

I didn't bother opening her door, my stomach had been through too much within 24 hours because of her. "Told ya, chivalry is dead."

"Jesus, woman, make up your mind!"

Another silent, tense drive and we were at her place again. I frowned when I saw my father sitting outside.

"Dad? Why are you still here?" I asked when I got out of the car.

"Really, Jason? You're not even gonna open the door for the young lady? It's the least you could do."

"Are you kidding me??? I tried! She-"

He shut me up with his hand. "Don't make excuses, go open the door! I raised you better than this."

I sighed and obliged, earning an evil smirk from Hera who quickly dropped it when Dad came into her line of sight.

"How did he act?" He asked.

"He was okay," she answered reluctantly.

I looked back at Dad. "Seriously, why are you still here?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Because I'm a caring and invested father..?" He said with a wavering smile. We both knew that was a lie, he's never up past 9. Something about me always stressing him out or whatnot. "Fine! Because when I tossed her the keys, I forgot you were my ride home… it's been a very awkward few hours…" he said as Washington came out of the house, knife in hand.

"Woah! Dad!" Hera shouted.

"What?" He asked nonchalantly.

"The knife!" Hera and I said in unison. It was weird, but I was too scared of being stabbed to question it.

He looked down at it and chuckled. "Oh, this? I was just… cutting apples. Yeah."

"You don't have apples-"

"Irrelevant. Anyway, how was he? Did he do anything stupid? I know how to hide a body, just fyi."

I silently begged her not to say anything stupid. Considering what she made me eat, she had no place to.

"Oh, dad, he was horrible! He called me all sorts of mean things, pulled my hair, slapped me-"

Suddenly he was charging at me, which forced me to sprint into my car just in time, all while screaming.

"Get your ass out here! I just wanna talk!" He shouted while my dad watched quietly. Father of the year, truly.

"Dad! I'm joking! He was fine. Better than I expected, actually."

Then, she turned to me. "That's not a compliment though, don't let that go to your head!" She shouted at me, her face turning a bit red.

I slowly got out of the car as her dad calmed down.

"Oh… I see. Sorry for trying to add you to my collection."

I stopped in my tracks. "COLLECTION?!"

"Oh, did I say that out loud? Heh. Anyway, you live another day! Now get off my property, your father is horrible at small talk."

"Hey! You said you liked my speech about The Notebook's lackluster ending!" my dad defended before stomping to the car.

I ignored the fact that my father just said that, and actually sympathized with the murderer man. I'd been a victim of my dad's speech about that movie too, and let me tell ya, it is NOT plus ultra. At all.