Deja-vu

The teenager stood in front of a mirror looking at his reflection, the puffy eyes, red nose, swollen face, evidences of spending the whole night crying. He was all dressed up in his uniform all ready to go to school but was contemplating whether he should or not.

As he had not gotten a wink of sleep, he had decided to just take a shower and get ready so he had plenty of time before school actually started. However, he is unaware of what awaits him at school hence, the unlikeliness of not going.

The sound of the clock resonated in his head with every passing second and his feet tapped anxiously on the floor. Seeing his recorder in the mirror from the corner of his eye he decides to talk to it as usual. Walking over to the corner of his room where the recorder was lying flipped upside down, the dark-haired boy carries it to his bed, sitting in a crouched position while hugging his pillow and presses the start button, and with a 'beep' it starts recording

"~° Kang Hanjun, Voice Log Day= A sad day °~"

*ahem*

He clears his throat to avoid sounding like a wuss.

"You're...umm.... You're not mad at me, are you Mr. Tape recorder? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry, I didn't but, I couldn't control it anymore. I apologize."

"I'll tell you properly now, My Introduction. I'm a 17 year old teenager, Kang Hanjun. I'm currently in my 2nd year of highschool and I transferred here the day I started recording and talking to you, the day you became my friend."

"I don't know since when, but I'm gay. I tried to be interested in girls but I felt nothing for them. I couldn't even look at girls the way I used to look at a certain guy. He was the first guy I ever liked and that is how I found out why I wasn't interested in girls. That was when I realized that I am gay."

"My mom and dad both know about it. Thankfully when I came out clean to them, they accepted me the way I am. They didn't cast me out like other people did. Moreover, they were really happy that I told them myself."

"I love pizza and sashimi; I love drinking americano; I love dancing since I can remember, and I turns out that I like boys. I can't do anything about my sexuality preferences except for the fact that I hate myself for being like this."

A sigh escapes his lips as he slowly covers all the points that he'd been wanting to. He didn't have anyone to talk to about this at all. All his friends had shunned him and since then he was as quiet as a mouse, that is, until school started again and he wanted to try again.

"I have no friends nor anyone wants to be my friend. I don't mind it anymore because I'm used to it now."

"You're my only friend who listens to me everyday and I hope you'll stay healthy and not break because I think I'll break down too. I wish I was normal and I wish i could at least make myself be normal but it didn't work. If it's supposed to be like this I'd rather be single my whole life."

"Right now.... I just ... don't know whether I want to go to school or not. If I do, EVERYONE will know I cried like a wuss because it is so painstakingly obvious that i did, and if I don't, I'm STILL a wuss. How in the world does that work?!"

He huffs as he finishes his sentence and throws his pillow away in annoyance, sitting up properly looking intensely at the recorder as if it'll reply.

"This all feels like a whole Deja-vu.... You know what, I ain't going. I'll call in a sick leave."

"~° This was Kang Hanjun. 27th_April_#### °~"

And with that, he presses the 'stop' button, gets back on his feet changing into his pajamas and snuggling in his covers to finally get some sleep.