"I'm sorry but I can't stop crying"

"Hanjun! Hanjun! What happened?! Tell me!" Worried shouts from downstairs were heard. As soon as the door opened, the sound of Hanjun's worried mother could be heard louder. The door closes with a loud thud and locks with a resonating clicking sound.

As soon as he shuts the door, the young boy leans on it and bursts into loud cries which he had been keeping in for a while now. He was sobbing and panting hard. Tears kept falling down his face and he couldn't control them. He wanted to stop crying but he couldn't.

"Hanjun sweetie. Please let me in. Tell me what happened." His mother knocked on the door continuously, concerned for her son. She kept pleading with him to let her in, but he didn't open the door.

He covered his ears to block his mother's worried cries. His tears were dripping like a faucet that wouldn't close. His mother gave up and went downstairs thinking that she should give him some space for now. For some reason he hated himself. It wasn't his fault. He was just like this. He did try to not be like that.

At first, he didn't want to talk at all, he thought he won't make his log either but when he glanced at the tape recorder, he couldn't help but let everything out.

He stopped crying, holding it in only to let out small whimpers. Choke sobbing, he picks the tape recorder- almost dropping it as he had no strength in his body at the moment.

" *cries* *sobs* *whimpers* *sniffs* *cries* ".

However, as soon as he presses the 'start' button, he couldn't do anything but cry. It felt as if the tape recorder was a real person and would just listen to his cries.

"I-i-i just wanted to ha-have a normal lif-fe. I didn't wa-want to hurt he-her. *sniffs* "

He kept stuttering and choking on his words. He didn't have any energy to talk yet, he still wanted to let some of it out.

"I-i-if I knew that-that *sniffs* I would face this a-a-again, *sniffs* I-i would have never-er said n-n-no to her."

"I'm s-s-sorrrry but I-i-i can't stop cr-crying."

"I ha-hate it he-he-here. *sniffs* I don't want-t-t t-to live."

With a slip of those words, his crying increased. So, he ended the recording and caved inside himself.

He kept crying because he couldn't take it. He just wanted to let it all out in his own pace. He didn't want to worry anyone but at the same time he just couldn't keep it in. All he wanted was to wash away all the pain in the tears.