28.2 No Parties For Old Stanley

It didn't take a particularly long time to figure out what the big deal was. The first thing he did was check next week's date to jog his memory.

As for his reaction...

'Huh, my birthday's next week.'

…was underwhelming to say the least.

If it wasn't obvious, Stanley didn't really celebrate his birthday. He used to back when he lived with his family but the notion gradually lost meaning over the years, especially when he became a recluse. His sister initially tried to make a day out of it but as their lives diverged he merely received a call or text. Conversely Stanley did set a reminder for himself on his phone when it came to her birthday so he could text back.

If the hospital didn't give him a call, then that same reminder would have been what ultimately led him down the rabbit hole of introducing her to Ezraphel and the probable (absolute) shitshow that would have turned out to be.

As for him and his birthday...

As stated before, celebrating it lost its meaning at this point in his life. To him, it's just another day. He'd need to put in the effort to drum up some excitement, and he saw no merit in making a big deal out of making it another year in this world. At most he would treat himself to some cake or some special kind of takeout combination.

Now with Ezraphel here he cannot expect another quiet birthday which is something he could accept. Knowing her she'd want to throw him a party.

"Have to nip that in the bud pronto."

It's best that he set the terms for whatever she had planned for him. That is why when breakfast was ready and he made his way to the dining room table to partake in the early morning feast the first sentence out of his mouth upon sitting down was...

"I don't want a party."

His sudden words caused a similar set of reactions from the two women, with Natalie raising a delicate brow while Ezraphel tilted her head questioningly.

"What do you mean Stanley?" asked his girlfriend.

He almost rolled his eyes "next week is my birthday. I'm assuming that's the big secret you didn't want to tell me."

"Oh, you actually managed to figure it out," Natalie quipped sarcastically.

Ignoring her words, his gaze focused on Ezraphel as he reiterated, "I do not want a birthday party."

Ezraphel's frown became pronounced though rather than being upset, she seemed curious.

"Why? Do you not wish to celebrate your birthday?"

"I don't have a problem with celebrating. I just don't want a party. It's cringe and unnecessary."

He'd originally wanted to say he didn't want her to make a big deal out of it but he recognized a futile battle when he saw one. She would always make a big deal out of things when it came to him. It's gotten to the point where he almost found it charming and endearing to know how much she cared. Other times it can be annoying and exhausting to deal with as the extent she'd sometimes go to seemed as if she wanted to prove her love for him to the entire damn world.

It was endearing but quite annoying at times.

Ezraphel did not seem satisfied with the answer but unfortunately Natalie chose to interpose herself in the conversation with unhelpful words.

"Translation: I don't want you to make a big deal out of it because then I'd feel embarrassed, self-conscious, and super awkward about the whole thing."

This earned her a scathing glare from him.

'This fucking bitch'

She hit the nail right on the head, dammit!

His glare slid off her like water as she ignored him to enjoy her meal while watching the show.

"Is that so Stanley?" Ezraphel questioned lightly.

'As if you didn't already know.'

"Yeah."

"Hmm," Ezraphel hummed for a long moment before shrugging, "okay."

"Okay?"

'That's it?'

"In truth I wasn't actually planning a party for you Stanley."

"You weren't?"

"As you say it seemed unnecessary…and unkind."

"What?"

'Why would it be unkind?'

He wanted to ask but his sister went and answered the unasked question.

"You don't have a lot of friends Stan."

The only thing stopping Stanley from snapping at her was the tone she spoke those words with. She was only stating a fact and he could not begrudge her for it.

"Plus you hate going to social events anyway."

"Okay," he began hesitantly wanting to continue speaking but instead chose to dig into his breakfast.

The action didn't go unnoticed by either woman though it was Ezraphel who called him out on it.

"Was there anything else Stanley?"

Stanley swallowed "no."

"I bet you didn't expect to get this far without some pushback, huh?"

Stanley chose to exercise his right to remain silent which was an answer in itself.

"I don't know why you'd think that." Natalie blandly commented, digging into her breakfast.

"Stanley is very confrontational," Ezraphel supplied, "or rather he expects a confrontation in most of his interactions."

"That sets a bad precedence for social interactions, methinks."

"Agreed, it makes me rethink not organizing a party. Mother knows he could use the exposure if nothing else."

"Can you two stop talking about me like I'm not here?"

"Nope," Natalie answered.

"These words are meant for your ears, Stanley."

Obviously he ignored that "and can you drop the party thing already?"

"No," Ezraphel answered without missing a beat, "we should be able to plan your birthday as we see fit."

Natalie all but nodded until she ran that sentence back and her gaze snapped to the Lilim.

"Uh…we?"

Ezraphel gave her a look "of course. You did offer to help me find a gift. I assumed you already had something in mind."

"Yeah for a gift, not planning a party."

"What is wrong with a party?"

"Natalie doesn't do birthday parties either," Stanley answered casually with a pointed glare.

That made Ezraphel mildly confused "she doesn't?" Her gaze went to the Wight "you don't?"

Natalie cringed at the look Lilim gave her.

Before she could answer Stanley interrupted "she doesn't, the hypocrite."

"Shut up Stan," Natalie scowled at him before turning to Ezraphel "I don't do birthday parties all the time but unlike Mr. Schizoid here it's not because I don't like going out with people. Circumstances just don't allow for it."

While keeping his attention to his breakfast Stanley added, "parties are overrated nowadays anyway." Stanley clarified then shrugged, "it's not a big deal."

'Shut the fuck up Stan.'

Oh sure the insensitive man child can say that with a breezy air and get away with it, however, as the 'responsible' older sibling Natalie was currently being pinned by a stare of mild disbelief.

"You mean to tell me that neither of you celebrate your birthdays properly?"

Natalie went to speak but was interrupted by Stanley, who shot his girlfriend a look "define 'properly' because it's presumptuous of you to just decide we're not celebrating our birthdays according to your arbitrary standards."

"He has a point," Natalie conceded.

"What a time to be alive" was the man's dry response.

Ignoring his words, she continued, "It's not like I don't do anything special for my birthday when the mood strikes me, but unlike someone, I'm still on that daily work grind. Most times I don't have the time or money to spare for anything extravagant." 

Sometimes she did go out of her way to make a day out of it to decompress or use it as the perfect excuse to take that extra step and splurge on herself. On rare occasions she might even be pleasantly surprised when her friends decide to get in on the fun and splurge on her.

Ezraphel looked between the two siblings who for once were presenting a united front. She was clearly consternated; however she really could not admonish them for doing what they liked.

She gave up with a huff not long after to pose another question, "do I even want to know what you both do for gifts?"

Stan merely shrugged "meh."

A blank-faced Ezraphel turned to Natalie for salvation.

The Wight had a complicated expression "we do get each other gifts but uh, it kind of falls flat most of the time since it's more of an obligation if you catch my drift."

"I do not in fact 'catch your drift' Natalie. Please explain what you mean."

The Wight clicked her tongue not really wanting to put her brother on blast but Natalie was pretty sure Ezraphel can discern lies. So for her it all boils down to her brother not caring one way or the other about his birthday. She used to put actual effort into the gifts even without a party or celebration to compliment it. The thing is, for all the effort she put in, it felt wasted on a man whose reaction to it is...underwhelming to be generous.

The lack of appreciation on Stanley's part really did impact Natalie in that she herself began to care less about it herself. She still did go out of her way to call, text, or even visit him sometimes with a gift but it was clear that the celebratory atmosphere was almost completely sucked out after some point.

She explained all this with some regret tingeing her voice as she was essentially throwing him under the bus. To his credit he took her incidental criticism on the chin though looking mildly uncomfortable when Ezraphel tossed him a look.

Before any words can be exchanged, Natalie decided to interrupt, "before you go scolding him, you should know that he's only an inconsiderate jerk when it comes to his birthday. He actually puts more effort in when my birthday comes around. Granted that's not exactly a high bar to cross with him being the lazy bastard he is."

"What does he do?" asked Ezraphel with a hopeful tone.

"He's self-aware enough to recognize that his lack of effort as a faux pas and thought to make up for it in the most Stanley way possible."

Ezraphel leans forward with anticipation

"He asks me to tell him what I want and he gets it for me" Natalie states bluntly.

Ezraphel's expression immediately turns deadpan and both siblings could almost imagine hearing the "bruh" sound effect.

"In his defense" Natalie continued "he's amenable to damn near all my requests. It could be ordering something online and having it delivered to me or just straight up wiring money to my account. He'll do it with only minimal questions asked."

Ezraphel hummed at that "for someone who is very particular about how he spends his money, especially on himself, Stanley seems to favor reckless spending when it comes to situations like this," Ezraphel noted.

"I know right?" Natalie nodded.

"It's not like I throw money at every problem" Stanley grumbled.

Natalie clearly heard him as she stated "I like how you describe getting me a gift as a problem."

"You complaining?" He groused with a glare.

"Course not," she said, though there was a part of her that resented the idea even if it was a complete net positive for her overall.

At the same time she did see a problem since he opted with this method for every occasion that necessitated a gift exchange. It's to the point where there have been times when she was tempted to take advantage of him but ultimately decided against it because she wasn't a scumbag. But there are times where Stanley's methods rubbed her the wrong way. The biggest example being at the start of all this when she put forward the idea of paying off her student loan debt as "like the greatest gift ever."

Clearly it was meant as a joke but then he went ahead and did it anyway. Imagine her surprise when the bastard wired her the full amount of her debt with some money leftover and told her to take care of the rest. It was the answer to the question of what the limit of his seeming generosity was and it kinda pissed her off as much as it made her grateful.

Why did he do such a thing?

He had three so-called reasons.

First, it was her birthday.

Second, she asked.

Third, in his own words, he owed her for putting up with his bullshit.

The first two were so ridiculous she almost bitch slapped him. The third reason she knew what he meant since once upon a time he crashed at her apartment for the better part of the year rent free while he got his future investments set up. With that in mind she appreciated the gesture but the way he went about it made her angry with him at the time.

Believe it or not Natalie does have some reservations with her younger lazy brother who dropped out of college and became rich off of what was essentially monetizing his hobby indulgence straight up flexing on her who did stick with college to earn a degree only to be working a stressful dead end job with pay only just above minimum wage.

Don't get her wrong, she still took the money and paid off her debts because who the hell wanted that sword of Damocles hanging over their head. The victory however felt hollow and Natalie felt like she was somehow robbed of a future triumph. Why Natalie was so upset enough that she didn't talk to Stan for a good chunk of time. Not that he seemed to notice...or maybe he did and just ignored it like he did a lot of his problems back then.

In any case, even though she's obviously mellowed out about the whole ordeal it would be a stretch to say that she didn't still hold onto some resentment towards him for that. Natalie explained this to Ezraphel (minus her personal grievances on the matter) and the Lilim gave an exasperated sigh.

"That sounds exactly like something he would do," she said while looking at him with fondness.

"You know the most unbelievable part of this whole thing is that I kind of get it," Natalie admitted "his reasoning for doing what he does the way he does it."

"It's not as unbelievable as you seem to believe. At the end of the day, Stanley is a rather simple man at heart. He doesn't believe in altruism and equates such acts towards him as a series of debts he must repay." Ezraphel summed it up very succinctly.

"Yeah, more or less."

Then the two looked at the man in question, who met their gazes unapologetically.

"Is that a problem?" he questioned with an obvious edge.

Clearly being openly criticized and talked about was getting to him. Natalie, for one, wasn't about to pile on him for this.

She did however scoff at him "of course not. Far be it for me to complain about my rich little brother handing out freebies out of some misguided notion that he owes me a debt for being a good sister to him."

Okay, she didn't pile on him too much.

Ezraphel nodded as well "agreed, though I would have preferred that you cared more for that sort of thing, but it is the spirit of the thought that counts."

"You're still going to do that fucking party, aren't you?"

"Again I was not planning to throw a party though I must say just as you would not have me presume to judge your means of celebrations so should you not presume to judge how I choose to celebrate Stanley?" she replied in a rather political manner.

"It's my birthday; you should do what I want."

Ezraphel raised a brow "but if I did that all the time then we wouldn't have made much progress in relationship now would we?"

"For better or worse?"

"Indeed."

Stanley moved his jaw for a moment before asking yet again, "no party?"

"No party," she reassured.

"Good" he went back to his meal which at this point was being kept warm solely due to magic.

Ezraphel then gave a sly smirk and added "this year."

Stanley paused but he knew that any arguments he made would just be them talking circles, so he left it at that. The rest of the breakfast was finished in a kind of awkward silence. After finishing, Stanley wordlessly left the table to return back to his office.

"Well, that went better than I thought it would," commented Natalie as she stood up and stretched. "Thanks for the food."

"Help me with the dishes, won't you?"

Ezraphel's reply before she stood up

"Why is Stanley so vehemently against having a birthday party?"

"Didn't we just talk about that?"

"We've outlined one of the reasons."

"Why does there need to be another reason?"

"I can feel it."

Natalie stared at her for a moment before remembering that Ezraphel can sense emotions and with them being married there was literally nothing her brother can hide from her if she wanted to find it.

Unfortunately for the Lilim, "I hate to say it but I really don't know what other reasons he might have." "I think that's just a symptom of him not liking crowds in general. I'd say ask him, but..."

"It's Stanley"/"It's Stan," they both finished.

"Hmm, quite the conundrum."

"Does it really matter right now?"

"Of course it does. If I don't get to the bottom of this then I will be unable to host parties with him."

Natalie gave her a side-eyed glance of suspicion "this isn't just some ploy for you to get a pass for throwing parties now, is it?"

"O-of course not."

"You stuttered just now."

"You're imagining things."

"Uh-huh" Natalie spoke plainly with a pointed look that screamed she didn't believe her "so aside from your totally not selfish reasons for diving into what Stan may or may not be hiding, why is this important for you to know?"

"I am trying to get Stanley to be more social, Natalie," the woman finally explained. "I cannot do that if he refuses to entertain a simple birthday party."

"Good thing your lifespan is measured in centuries, huh?"

Ezraphel rolled her eyes "just because I have all the time in this world doesn't mean I am so patient. Now do you have a reason for his reticent nature towards birthday parties?"

"As much as I would like to help you out here, I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of his thoughts and history you know."

"Well, when was the last time Stanley had a birthday party?"

"Ah, that would be..." she trailed off thinking about it until her eyes widened, "oh," then she cringed, "oh~."

"What?"

"I think I might know what Stan's hang-ups about birthday parties are about."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense; tell me why."

"Well, it might have to do with our mom."