Pain magnet

It seemed like I was a magnet for getting hurt. 

It was as if the vicious cycle of my life never ceased.

From being in a family that made me want to tear my hair out and go on a killing spree to feel better, to have feelings for someone who continued to hurt me over and over again. 

It was as if my heart refused to be connected to my brain, because if it were, what I was passing through wouldn't be happening to me at all.

How is it possible that every single time that I thought I was free of pain and sorrow, they would just appear right in my face, mocking me as they did? 

Right before I was to leave for school to finally write my long-awaited examination, I received a shocker that answered the unknown question I had had in my mind that partly propelled me to reconcile with Tobi.

I wished that I did not have a mind of my own sometimes.