Chapter 5

Being sad while on the farm is not included in my list when I decided to come back here. Reconnecting is what this is all about.

I released a sigh and grabs the towel before heading to the comfort room. I discarded all my clothes and turns on the shower. A cold gush of water rained over me. The remnants of the night’s weather can still be felt on the water’s coldness.

After a few minutes of coldness, I am greeted with the warm aroma of coffee.

“Hi grandma, good morning,” I greeted grandma with a slightly shrill voice even though I had been up for quite a while already.

“Oh hi sweetie, come on, you must be starving,” she warmly invited. The house seems quiet except for grandma who keeps on talking about what she prepared for breakfast. I roamed my eyes around to look for a sign of Damien but he seems to have left already. Grandma must have noticed my searching stares, “Damien has gone home early, I told him to stay for breakfast but he declined. He said he needed to go somewhere else.”

I just dug on my food, savoring the scrumptious meal that I haven’t had since I left 13 years ago. My grandma wasn't so old back then. She aged throughout those years and fine lines are already visible on her face, the same goes with grandpa.

When I finished my breakfast I slowly walked out of the house when grandma called out to me.

“Sweetie, before I forgot, Damien asked me to tell you to go to your hang-out place. He didn’t tell me where exactly it is but I guess you know where it is,”

“Oh, thanks, grandma. I love you, I'll be back before lunch.” With that, I hurried outside.

On my way to the hang-out place, I passed by the very place where I pronounce my promise to Damien, that I promised to come back here. Here I am, back in this countryside. I saw a little girl who was crying, she was looking for her mom. I suddenly see my younger self in her image, helpless and innocent.

13th June of 2002

I was sitting on the couch when they both took a seat in front of me.

“I honestly don’t know how to tell you this sweetie,” Mom started.

I look at them with wondering and hopeful eyes, hoping that somehow a miracle would come and fix them all of a sudden.

“Sweetie, your father is divorcing me,” she looked at me, scanning my expression if there was any kind of emotional distress. Young as I was, I looked at them with a blank expression. I don't understand what she was talking about, that “divorcing” word didn't make any sense to me.

“She probably doesn't understand what you are talking about,” my Dad suddenly spoke softly, enough for me to hear it.

I was so naive with the whole situation, I was clueless about what could happen. Imagine, a seven-year-old sitting on a couch in front of her parents who are announcing that they are falling apart. My Dad was silent, he didn't speak so much about the whole divorce thing that's going on.

I was tucked to bed by my Mom. She turned off the night lights and turned to leave but I stopped her, I held her hand. She turned and looked at me.

“Is divorcing a bad thing, Mom?” I saw her swallow a bit. She was silent for a moment as if contemplating how to explain the whole thing to me without giving me a shock. Oh Mom, if you only knew. Though, I've had a hunch that it was indeed a bad thing.

“It isn't entirely a bad thing, sweetie,” she slowly sat back to the side of my bed before continuing.

“You've had a graduation from school, right?” she asked me, looking down at her feet for a moment while slightly fiddling with her fingers.

“Yeah, we did. That was when I finished my preschool,”

“Divorcing is just like having a graduation. Think of your Dad as a student and think of me as the school, then your Dad is graduating from school. He's saying goodbye to the school,” she almost choked while saying the word goodbye.

“So he's leaving then?”

“He's not entirely saying goodbye since he would still be your Dad, no matter what.”

I didn't remember much of our conversation that night before she finally left me to sleep.

I was pulled out from my reverie when I noticed that the little girl wasn't there anymore. Looks like her Mom has already found her. I wasn’t even aware that I stopped in my tracks to look at the girl without helping her. Silly me. I heaved a sigh and slightly shook my head before heading to where Damien told me to go.

I was meters away from the hut when I heard them, they are laughing.

“Look, there she is,” Paula said in high pitch tone.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?” I asked.

“Yesterday, before you came we were just talking about having a sort of getaway,” Lily announced excitedly.

“...and we were thinking that you should come with us, you know, to have some sort of bonding, ” Sara said while looking at me with a bright smile.

I paused for a moment. A getaway would be nice but if I go along with them maybe I should find answers to the questions that I have since I left that night. The only answer to that is by asking Grayson. How could I have peace in a getaway I left unfinished business untouched? How could I let go of all of it if I was still tied to some strings that were never cut? I figured that the only thing that could cut those strings is to finish the discussion that I've been avoiding once for all. That night when I left I didn't bother asking him anything, what I had in mind was to get away from that place. Away from the place that unexpectedly broke everything.

“Guys, I have to tell you something first.” They all stopped to look at me, they fell silent.

“What is it, Gracey?” Daniel asked. They immediately circled me, waiting for me to speak.

“I think I should go and see Grayson first before I go with the getaway,” Damien immediately shot me a frowning look.

“What for? What else is there to talk, Grace?” he asked. They all looked at me, waiting to hear my explanation.

“I just thought it would somehow be nice to go in a getaway without so many questions left unanswered,” I said in a low voice. When I looked at the girls, I saw a glint of pity in their eyes.

“I think she’s right,” Sara agreed. “If she will not do it now then when will she do it? Those questions will haunt you if you won’t do it, hun,” Sara turned to me.

“Alright, then. You want me to come with you?” It was Damien who asked me. I was hesitant for a moment, he must have sensed it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll drive you there and I'll wait in the car while you guys talk, how’s that?” I smiled at him.

“Alright, I see I got a driver in an instant,” they all slightly chuckled at my remark.

The rest of the day was spent planning and deciding on what to bring. After all, they decided to rent a yacht for a day. The girls are pretty excited about it and couldn't stop talking about what they would do and what to wear.

Maybe this could all be the start of something new, hopefully not another heartbreak.

Note: The dates indicate flashbacks.