Chapter 6

I am dressed in dark green turtle neck long sleeves and tight white jeans along with dark brown ankle boots to complete the look. I looked at my wristwatch and look outside the window. Damien would be here to collect me anytime soon.

Last night, before I went to sleep, I messaged Grayson asking if I could talk to him today. I was surprised after a few minutes I received a reply from him. Gladly, he agreed. I looked at my appearance in the mirror, light brown curls that reaches my shoulders and grayish-green orbs...

I was taken aback when I heard a slight honking of the car just across my window. I peeped through the curtains and saw Damien was just about to get out of his car. I never knew he had a car, to be honest. I think I was slightly disoriented or maybe distracted that he was talking about driving me without me thinking if he had a car to drive in the first place. I immediately grab my sling bag and exited my room. I was greeted by my grandma who was on her way to tell me that Damien is waiting. We exchanged a few words before I bid her goodbye.

“I'll be back before you know it, grandma.” I give her a reassuring smile before hopping into Damien’s car. His manly scent invaded my nostrils. I throw a glance at him.

“Nice outfit you got there,” he chuckled at my remark.

“So where are we heading? By the way, you look beautiful.”

“Small thing but thank you though. The Split Beans, that’s where we're going,” I announced while fixing my seatbelt.

“Alright.” With that, he drove off.

Silence seems so golden that no one dares to break it. I was staring outside unconsciously ignoring everything. He cleared his throat.

“You okay?” he asked, his eyes focusing on the road.

“Yeah, I’m just kind of nervous to see him again,”

“Why? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Even when he wasn't facing me, I could see the curves of his creased forehead and his frowning look.

“I don't know, I'm just nervous since I just left without any fight or what. When I returned to my apartment that night, I immediately packed my bags and left. I didn't care if that was nearly midnight, all I know is I want to get away from there, and to the places he knew where I could be. Do you think it’s unfair that I didn't let him explain his side?” I have had second thoughts about that for a while.

“You saw it with your own two eyes, what’s there to explain?”

I fell silent.

Wondered what happened after I left the farm? Well, to cut the story short, my life fell into a whole wreckage. A few weeks after my parents announced that they were having a divorce, my Dad came home looking for my Mom with an envelope in his hands. He said he needed to get her to sign those papers immediately. When my Mom came home that night, he handed her the divorce papers. I still remember the look on my mother's face. She looks defeated as she let out a deep sigh and asked my Dad for a pen. I don't know what happened after that since I was told to go to bed. The next morning, I was woken up by the sound of luggage bags being dragged down the stairs. I remembered going out of my room only to find my Dad carrying his pieces of luggage to his car. He was leaving and I was there at the top of the stairs, watching him. He saw me but I turned away, went back to my room and locked the door. I cried for a while then I fell asleep again. When I woke up again, my Dad was sitting on the edge of my bed. He wanted to talk to me but I told him to just go. He couldn't do anything so he left. My mom said that he would visit me once in a while. He did visit me many times but I'd always find a way to not see him. How could he show up like that after he left?

There is this one time when I was in high school. I was a senior back then and I was hanging out with my classmates in a nearby diner just a few blocks from our school. I saw my Dad getting out of his car. He opened the front seat door and I was surprised to see him with someone else. He was with another woman, a little bit younger than my mom. They seem happy. When the woman got out of his car, she kissed him. The kiss that I could never forget. Never once did I see my Dad kiss my mom like that since they brought me to the city. I was always in between the awkwardness of every meal we've shared, it’s eerie. I have always been the witness to those cold shrugs he gave to my mom. As a child, I was left wondering if every parent was as cold as mine. I mean they aren’t entirely cold but you know the amount of attention and love they have for each other as husband and wife isn’t enough to keep their marriage alive and stable.

I looked away the moment I saw my dad kissing someone else. The next thing I knew is that I lifted my head to see my Dad entering the diner with that woman. He was taken aback when he saw me. I stared at the woman for a moment, she was pregnant at that time. So that’s why? He has been getting in contact with another woman. I think my mother wasn’t enough for him? Or maybe he just fell out of love because she was or maybe both of them were too busy for each other that they don’t have the time to rekindle the fire they once had in their relationship? I don’t know. It’s too difficult to play guessing games with things that are long done. You know, I have that hope with me for a few years that maybe something will magically change their mind and get back with each other but now, seeing my Dad with someone else, that hope was crushed into pieces. It was slowly withering then but I did my best to keep it together. I could say at least I tried.

Well, that was my first heartbreak. My Dad.

After my Dad left, everything became a blur. Mom became busy with work and raising me alone. I wasn't taken care of. She would leave me some money so I could buy food while she was away and that became my routine. We barely even see each other. She would leave early in the morning when I’m still asleep and come home after I went to bed. Even on weekends, she would still be busy. It’s like money became the compensation for her absences until I got used to it. My birthdays were never special after I left the farm. The home that I wished so hard to have didn't seem like home anymore. It's just a plain house with broken people. Several years later, I was sent to college. That's where I met Grayson. He was a known musician and a writer at the university that we're both attending. That's where the romance started. But before that romance started, I was too close-minded with being in a relationship given the fact that I witness how my family got broken and how my Dad accidentally showed me his life after he left us. I was decisive that I don’t want to have a relationship yet but you know fate played a nice game that made me look like a complete fool swallowing up the words I once spitted. Grayson was the person who counteracted the inexplicable amount of despise that I have for relationships, at least for a specific period. He is talented and charming. I've even heard several girls crushing on him before. We started dating and everyone seems to envy the fact that I was dating the charming musician. The dating stage didn't last long, we became official after a few weeks. It wasn’t my belief to make a courting stage last for long ‘cause I believe that you can never truly know a person unless you've been with them for a long time.

Our relationship back then was so smooth like it didn't have a flaw at all. We both agreed on so many things and if we happen to have different preferences we always support each other. I think that should be a given, right?

But still, something went wrong. It happened in just a blink of an eye that I wasn't in any way prepared for that blow.

After several months of being together, he started being busy. I understood where all of that came from since we are both students and I understand the pressure and the time needed to pass everything. I got no questions about that. Until I didn’t notice it wasñ’t the usual busyness anymore.