Chapter 76 Courage

When Santichai woke up, he found himself lying on the edge of the hospital bed. He found himself no longer holding Asnee's hand. He looked up, only to find an empty hospital bed. He got up and looked into the bathroom, but Asnee wasn't there. He walked out of the room and saw a nurse.

Santichai hurriedly asked the nurse, "Kun, where is the patient in this room?"

"Khun Siriporn has been discharged from the hospital," the nurse said with a smile.

Santichai muttered to himself, "He's gone..." Santichai thanked the nurse and called Decha.

Decha answered, "Ai Chai, what's up?"

Santichai asked, "Frank, Asnee..."

"He's back in Bangkok," Decha said. He rolled his eyes and glanced at Asnee in the passenger seat. "Chai, go home... Your boyfriend must be waiting for you at home."

Santichai whimpered, "Asnee, why are you always doing this to me? Why are you always leaving me behind to fend for myself?" He knew that Asnee must be next to Decha, but Asnee just refused to speak to him. He continued to sob and wait for Asnee to answer him, but after waiting for a while, Asnee didn't answer him. Then he decided to hang up. "Take care of yourself, Asnee...I'm sorry." He hung up.

Decha sighed and looked at Asnee, "Are you sure you won't talk to him?"

Asnee responds, "Mmm."

Decha said, "Ai Nee, by doing this to Ai Chai, do you even feel sorry for him? It's so unfair to Ai Chai."

Asnee asked with his eyes closed, "How is this unfair?"

Decha said, "The way you are now, you refuse to see a doctor or talk to anyone. Ai Chai rushed into the hospital and waited for you in the lobby for four hours, being insulted verbally and physically by your mother, now you left him sleeping alone in that hospital bed."

Asnee sighed and said, "Don't worry, his boyfriend will come to coax him."

Decha asked, "Why isn't that person you?"

Asnee said, "You were there. He proudly announced that he chose KK."

Decha frowned, "Ai Nee. I know you feel sad about Ai Chai's choice but can you two not be like this...unable to face each other when you see each other. I don't like it at all."

Asnee doesn't want to talk about his romance anymore. He turned to Decha with a smile and said, "I'm hungry... Let's park your car and go eat some street food."

Decha parked the car, and Asnee got out first and walked towards the street vendors. He followed slowly behind Asnee. He took out his phone and texted Santichai, then quickly followed Asnee.

Decha and Asnee finished their meal and started driving back to the beach house. "Ai Nee, I've told auntie Siriporn that I'm with you, but I haven't given her the location," he said.

Asnee said, "It doesn't matter."

Decha asked, "Are you really not going to have surgery?"

Asnee replied simply, "No."

Decha asked, "If it's not me, nor your parents, but Ai Chai who asked you to have surgery, would you be willing to have surgery?"

Asnee replied, "No."

Decha asked, "Tell me, what can we do to change your mind?"

Asnee said, "Nothing can change my mind."

Decha frowned angrily, "So, only death can solve your problem?"

Asnee said, "This is for the best. Think about it...if I die, a lot of good things will come out of it. For example, my mother won't have to put on a show in front of others. My father doesn't have to lose face to his friends, those upper-class citizens for having a gay son. Tip can finally marry her boyfriend. Santichai can finally be happy with KK. My death will accomplish so much and make so many people happy." He smiled. "Actually, you're the only one who won't benefit from my death."

Decha sighed frantically, "It's not funny...the only people who get what they want are Tip and her boyfriend. If you die, your parents will be devastated. Your mother will blame herself for your death and your parents will drown themselves in depression. Ai Chai will eventually break up with KK because of guilt."

Asnee said, "Nonsense."

Decha frowned madly, "Ai Nee, as for Santichai, he will also be heartbroken. Knowing Ai Chai, he will live alone and blame himself for your death." He sighed. "Me as your best friend will lose my only best friend." He gave Asnee a quick glance, then went back to the road. "If you die, I swear to God, I'll stomp your grave three times a day. Morning, noon, and night."

Asnee laughed, "Who said, I will give you a grave for you to mourn?"

Decha asked, "What do you mean?"

Asnee said, "I wrote it in my will. When I die, my lawyer will throw all my ashes into the sea."

Decha waved his left hand and hit Asnee's on the chest. He angrily said, "You are truly an asshole."

Asnee chuckled, "Thank you for your compliment, I happily accept it."

Decha said, "Hey, since you've eaten and brought some food, I'll just take you to your house. My father wants me to see him right away."

Asnee said, "Ai Frank, won't you stay the night with me?"

Decha shrugged his shoulders. "Your tone gave me goosebumps." He glanced at Asnee. "No, like I said, my dad wants to see me right away. I can't turn him down; I don't want him cutting off my allowance."

Asnee laughed, "It's good to have parents like you. Frank, have you ever thought about having a boyfriend?"

Decha made an ugly face and shivers, "No way man...I'm sticking with girls."

Asnee said, "Your parents are very open-minded. If only we could change places."

"It's good to have parents like me living in Thailand, but if we didn't live in Thailand, do you think my parents would be this open minded?"

Decha pulls into the driveway of Asnee's beach house. He waited in the car until Asnee entered Asnee's house. He took out his phone and sent Santichai a text message that read "good luck". He sighed and slowly drove the car out of Asnee's driveway.

Asnee put the food he brought on the kitchen island. He poured himself a glass of wine as he put the bottle back. He was startled when he heard Santichai's voice.

Santichai was standing not far from Asnee. He looked at Asnee's back for a while before saying, "Asnee, you have finally come home?"

Asnee gripped the glass tightly and turned to face Santichai. He looked at Santichai and asked, "How did you get in?"

Santichai said, "I...I walked through the front door."

Asnee said, "Frank told you about this?"

Santichai said, "He didn't. I figured it out."

Asnee knew that Decha must have told Santichai in order for Santichai to know about this place. "You violated your restraining order," he said. "This is my home, and you trespassed." Not wanting to argue with Santichai, he put his glass on the counter and looked at Santichai. "I have a headache, I don't want to argue with you, you go home." He walked out of the kitchen and towards the master bedroom.

Santichai quickly wrapped his arms around Asnee's waist and clasped his hand. Santichai buried his face in Asnee's back. He breathed the familiar scent he had been craving. He sobbed, "I'm sorry... I was wrong... I'm sorry for breaking up with you. Asnee... Please forgive me."

Asnee said madly, "You said it yourself, in the ten years you have been with me, there is not a day that you are not hurt by my actions." He smiled. "You also said that I don't understand the meaning of love... So, you chose him instead of me." He grabbed Santichai's clenched hands, pulled Santichai's hands away, and moved them from his waist. Asnee turned and pushed Santichai away. He stood in front of Santichai and faced Santichai. "If it hurts you so much by being by my side, and since you have chosen the rich young master of the Suwannarat family..." He gritted his teeth. "What the hell are you doing here? Go away! Go and enjoy your luxurious life."

Santichai stared at Asnee with tears in his eyes, "I know you didn't mean that, I know you just wanted to keep me away from you." He rushed forward and hugged Asnee again. "You...you can blame me..." He squeezed Asnee's waist. "The actions I took, I deeply regret...I'm sorry...but...but...Asnee, you are also to blame. You know very well that I'm not a smart person. You don't tell me; how would I know..."

Asnee knew their breakup was probably his fault, but now that he's facing death, he's terrified of having a biopsy. He was afraid to know if the tumor in his brain is a ticking time bomb. If he takes Santichai back and the biopsy shows the tumor is cancerous, he won't live long with Santichai, whether he has surgery or not.

Asnee sighed and said, "I'm going to marry Tip. You said before that if I don't want to be with you, I should let you know. I'm telling you now, I'm getting married to Tip and making my parents happy."

Santichai knew it was another lie from Asnee. Maybe it's because Asnee doesn't know he has spoken candidly with Tipkamol. Maybe... maybe Asnee didn't even know he already knew that Asnee had a brain tumor. Secrets... Hidden secrets such as these that have soured their strong relationship. KK is right, if he wants Asnee, he has to claim Asnee, and in order to be able to claim Asnee as his, he has to have the courage to tell Asnee what he's thinking.

Santichai refused to let go of his grip on Asnee's waist. He said, "Asnee...I know the promise you made with khun Chongchit." Asnee's face darkened. "I know about the brain tumor. I know you want to die because I foolishly broke up with you. I know you think you'd rather push me away to someone else because you are dying." He sobbed. "Asnee, KK used to tell me that if I want you, I have to have the courage to claim you as mine. I'm here today to do just that."