20. Erza

Me and the girls were doing our thing upon the sandy plain when Jellal rushed towards us. One look at him and my world stops turning. My heart rate beats like a run away speedboat. I turn my face slightly away as the familiar warmth graced my complexion. I composed myself before looking back at him just to find him staring straight at me. "You guys are never going to believe this, but Natsu just confessed to me that he's irrevocably infatuated with Lucy," he blabbered out.

My eyes grew in size. Are my ears hearing this correctly? "Well apparently the feeling isn't mutual," Gajeel said as he looked off into the distance. I followed his eyes. Are my eyes misleading me? For them to be sharing a kiss at such level of intensity, they must have been seeing each other in secret. Why haven't she told me about this? Is she afraid that I wouldn't approve? Am I, Erza Scarlett, such a monster, that my best friend feels like it's best to withhold this from me and in the process leaving me in the dark? I will just enjoy my time with my other friends on the beach, eat some ice cream and ask her about it tonight, when she wouldn't be able to dodge any of my questions. 

Gray:

Staring off into the distance; I bite into my inner cheek, drawing some buds of blood while my hands by themselves forms into two tight fists. How dare he? Has he no dignity pulling such a stunt in front of all our friends? The longer I stare the quicker my heart sunk into the soles of my feet. I wish that I could say that it had only been a kiss. Juvia and I both know that we've conducted in way more then just a measly little kiss, which above all else had been completely misinterpreted. In my defense, somebody spiked my eggnog, but I still remember it. I remember every detail of that night while at times I wish that I didn't recall anything. Some days I wish that I didn't show up at the grocer on that day or at least not at that time. I'm a man and I'm not trying to unjustified my deed but seeing her at that moment; the remembrance that's been guilt tripping me flushed into memory. I felt so lonely and angry, blaming Lucy for breaking it off with me when I'm truthfully the one at fault. 

Flashback:

I searched every angle, hoping that Lucy won't follow me. I need to apologize to Juvia but I can't begin to imagine my life if Lucy isn't in it anymore and that's precisely what would happen if she should find out. The guilt had been weighing me down, like an invincible barrier had been set upon my shoulders. I entered the skating rink just to find Juvia waiting for me in the bleachers. I wish I knew who had spiked my drink at that party two weeks ago, so that I can kill that bastard and make it look like suicide. Internally I know that I will recognize him when our eyes meet. I will instantly recognize the person who fucked up my life. My skin crawl at the thought of Lucy finding out about my wrongdoing. I shake the feeling off as I sat down beside her. "I'm sorry," I told her as I looked over the field of ice. 

I can feel how her gaze burnt through my skin. "Juvia not understanding, why Grey asking forgiveness?" I snug in a deep breath before answering her question. "I love Lucy more then anything in this world and I don't want to imagine my life without her. I feel dirty and cheap after what happened at that party a few weeks back. I don't regret ever meeting you Juvia, You're an amazing friend and I am going to miss you when you leave but I feel like I own you an apology for what happened that night," I stated. Throughout the entire message I didn't once look up from my feet, to afraid to see what her reaction may be. "Juvia understands, don't beat yourself up about it Grey," she acknowledged me.

How is this fair? What did I ever do to deserve such a good friend like her? I can tell that she likes me more that she gives on but still she worries about my relationship with Lucy. Hiding behind a cowardly nature isn't helping anybody, so I turn my head so that I can look at my blue headed friend. She smiles benevolently at me. "Lucy is a lucky girl, you should cherish her for as long as life allows it," she said as she leans in closer and brush her lips softly against my left cheek, holding it there for a while longer. After she pulled away I thanked her and left.

Now:

I snake my fingers through my hair. I should have just been honest with her or even just confronted in a friend as to worry about my damn reputation. My friend's sees me as a player and that I am not. Out of lonesomeness I turned to the arms of another but what happened before it weren't either of our faults. The longer I run from the truth the worse it's weighting down will get. My poor spirit won't be able to carry this weight around for much longer.