GRUNGE

'Hi Alex!!!' two girls in high school uniforms cheered in uniform.

'Hey, girls, ' Alex greeted back and grabbed two cups and a pen. 'Same as always?'

The two girls smiled and nodded eagerly.

'Can we get a free chocolate today too?' asked one of them, widening her eyes and pretending in an innocent voice.

Alex looked at her for a second. She was blonde and had very flirty energy - and she probably did that of purpose. He hesitated.

'Hey, hey, hey.'

Someone slapped Alex on the nape from behind, snapping him out of his thoughts.

'Stop flirting with high schoolers, you creep' a male voice scolded him. 'You're in college.'

His coworker, Max, pushed him aside to the bar. Alex stumbled a bit and awkwardly grabbed the coffee pot to start making the order. He got embarrassed to get called out.

'I'm sorry girls' Max said with a soft voice and a grin, 'what can I get ya?'.

'He's doing it too' Alex thought to himself while frowning. Max stayed at the register, dictatorial, so the young boy was forced to make the beverages. He was smiling to the girls in a gentle way, but as he was a 25 years old blonde guy it made the girls giggle more and flush intensily to have such a cool dude to be kind to them.

Girls are easy to read sometimes, thought Alex.

'Here you go' he called out in a melodic voice and handed them the drinks. The girls giggled and looked at each other while receiving them.

'Sorry for putting you in trouble' the blonde girl said in a soft voice and staring directly into his eyes.

'Yeah, sorry. We love your new earring, by the way!

Alex pressed his lips to avoid smiling so obviously as his cheeks blushed. He couldn't deny he liked the attention from the younger girls. It had become the area of entertainment for school girls since he started working there.

That day Alex had completed the whole three months working at the local coffee shop. He had followed Anne's advice about getting a job, and even though she spent her nights partying with friends from her high school, she also had two jobs and was a student at University.

Also, three months had passed since Rai's party where the incident with her boyfriend occurred. She had apologized multiple times to Alex, but she did stay in the relationship. Alex made her know he disapproved of this, to which Rai had only replied with a sad gaze.

Likewise, 3 months had gone by since Alex and Mitsu almost had sex in the older's boy apartment.

When Alex arrived home the night of the party and after the whole awkward situation of Mitsu hiding in his bathroom, he decided he had to call Mafuyu the next day and ask if everything was okay - he needed to talk to him desperately. The young boy had to know if his feelings were mutual or what he meant to him. It had passed enough time and there had been enough intimate situations since their first kiss. He was finally sure of his feelings towards Mitsu and - although he wouldn't admit it to anyone out loud - his desire to continue what was left undone was monumental.

It had been Alex's first experience with another man. He found himself under Mitsu's control and he couldn't resist it. His body moved on its own, making him reach for his hands and kiss him without a doubt. The images of Mafuyu's lips and him kissing his naked abdomen were forged in his mind. Every touch, every shiver, every heavy breathing appeared like flashbacks at all times, reminding him how turned on he was. He felt like a teenager all over again.

After Mitsu didn't call him the next day, he decided to do it, but it went straight to voicemail. Even though Mafuyu had disappeared so many times before, Alex had a bad feeling about this one. He decided he would try to not panic right away, as he knew he had been wrong before. There could be many reasons why it went straight to voicemail. Probably he had broken his phone while riding his bike - that surely sounded like something that could happen to Mitsu. Alex remembered how easily distracted he gets.

He called him again that night. And the next day, too. A couple of days later, Alex had lost all of his hope.

He blamed himself for not talking about it before all of that happened.

But he got carried away so easily, that he barely thought about what he was doing. It wasn't like he regretted what happened, but now that Mafuyu wasn't around, he started to feel pathetic.

Although he did have the feeling Mafuyu was also in a wilder state than normal that night…

That same day, feeling the worst after listening the voicemail, the young boy received a text from Mitsu that read:

'I won't have a phone for a while. I'll get one after the summer ends. Sorry'.

Alex looked at the screen in disbelief and wondered why he'd have taken such a decision. He texted back but he never got it. The text wasn't read even after three months. This made Alex frustrated and angry with himself for getting into that situation. He spent a couple more days trying to call him but it said the phone wasn't available.

The embarrassment lasted a couple of weeks only, because he was somehow used to it. His feelings rushed back when he appeared but when he left, even if he suffered at first, he got over it.

Mitsu was easy to get over according to Alex's perspective and he actually thanked him, in a way, for the way he felt different from himself.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he thought about that night.

But Alex felt different after all. Alex was more relaxed on his own skin and thanks to Mitsu he had gotten over Connie, remembering everything he disliked and getting to know parts he didn't even know existed within himself. It took him a while to decide he wanted to go even further with his change and started to style himself as he actually pleased. It was as if all that time he had been wearing protective skin to not show who he was, but now he just wanted to feel more authentical.

He remembered how Mitsu seemed so comfortable with himself and his choice of clothes or even the way he had arranged his apartment showed exactly that - Alex wanted to try this sort of comfy but confident stance. He was fighting his own shyness and he liked the challenge.

The day he got the job at the café, he called Rai to ask for fashion advice. Alex thought she shared the same idea on fashion with him. She taught him how to dress up with all black, but with different sizes and patterns. Just like the white shirt Mitsu gave to him that had a Japanese symbol on it. After shopping they stopped to try bobba tea, a thing that only Rai could suggest as Alex had never tried it, (he didn't like it). She took a bracelet out of her pocket and gave it to him.

'This is supposed to protect you from evil and bad vibes'. Alex extended his hand with doubt and Rai grabbed it to knot the red bracelet on his wrist.

The young boy was moved by the gesture and thanked her honestly, even though he wasn't the type of person that believed in those kinds of things. At least it gave him the idea to buy more bracelets to decorate his wrists. He got up to three on one and two on the other. When Anne saw him, she instantly mocked him by saying he looked like a teenager from a rock garage band from the 2000s.

He frowned at what she said, but she made him feel better by saying:

'what I mean is you look grunge. Chill, it's cool style'

He actually liked the way he was looking and wanted to go even further. He asked Rai's help again, as she was the one who changed her hair almost every day. When Alex asked her to dye his hair, her eyes sparkled.

'Please, let me dye it dark red!' she rapidly begged as if she had already thought about it. This made Alex second guess his decision, but she looked so cute when thrilled that he couldn't resist.

'You only need a couple of piercings and you will look so hot!' Rai exclaimed while drying his hair after dying it.

When he saw his reflection in the mirror, he felt regretful. It was the first time he had done anything to his hair and he had gone from zero to a hundred in an hour.

'Um... maybe this wasn't such a good idea' he turned around and saw Rai jumping and clapping excitedly and then suddenly stopped when she heard him. Alex was terrified that he looked ridiculous. Everyone was going to make fun of him.

Again.

'What? Why!?'

'I literally look ten times paler now!' Although he liked the color, and it would eventually look less bright, he didn't feel he was in his comfort zone anymore.

'Alex' Rai said with a serious face while placing both of her hands on each of Alex's cheeks and pushing them together. 'Shut up. Don't doubt my magic. You look hot.' She got even closer to his face with an intense look in her eyes. 'Now pierce your ears. I can do it for you. I've done it like a hundred times.'

'Nope' Alex pushed her hands away and shook his head. 'No way.'

After weeks of devoted persistence, eventually, Rai convinced him by going to a proper piercing shop. Alex felt very weird in his whole new look.

But then, he ended up feeling a lot more confident with time. His co-workers, who barely paid him attention the first weeks working there, started to compliment him and rapidly he started to receive attention from the schoolgirls from the area.

Alex tried not to get it over his head, but being popular around a bunch of girls definitely made his self-esteem improve. He started to play along and flirted back on the girls until one day Rai visited him at the coffee shop.

'Hey, you sicko. These girls are underage, remember? They are wearing uniforms, for fucks sake! You are a twenty-one years old guy...' she proceeded to scold him for about an hour until he was convinced he had to stop and realized it wasn't okay.

But he really enjoyed how the girls would scream or giggle between themselves if he only drew a heart or left a message on their coffee cups. It was as if they visited him to read what he would write that day. He smiled more, joked around, talked, and even flirted with people, and that surely made him feel better about himself.

Summer vacations were just around the corner. Alex decided to keep working and even take a full-time shift.

He was confident of dropping out at the end of the Summer but first needed to raise some money. Luckily his family was already okay with his decision.

Change feels fine, thought Alex.

It will all be different by the end of summer.

At the end of Summer... Alex tried his best to not even think about it and if the thought appeared on his mind, he would quickly distract himself.

'Be right back. Bathroom'. Max said and pushed him to place him again at the register.

'Stop that!' Alex complained as his coworker always pushed him around so easily, and he punched him on the arm. Max didn't even react to it, as he was always serious and playing it cool. When he was out of sight of the counter, he looked at Alex over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out, followed by a half-smile.

Alex sighed. He actually really liked Max and wanted to become closer with him. He had the potential to be a good friend.

"Good afternoon, what can I get you?" he said as an automatic robot as he grabbed a cup and a sharpie, ready to take the order.

'A cold green tea, please' a sweet and soft voice said.

'Sure. Name?'

'Connie'.

Alex looked up, incredulous.