Chapter 92: Reasons to live / continue

Jeffrey had the rest of the day to himself. Going to class he was just another kid, invisible and indistinguishable from the rest. He was left alone with his own thoughts.

"What did Dresden's business have to do with him? Why should he care?", he asked himself trying to detach himself from responsibility.

As Jeffrey tried to convince himself in his mind to ignore it and move on. Try as he might however, he couldn't ignore this issue, an issue of ethics, of moral conviction.

He bowed to life before, ignoring the plights of others. Such as the time when they asked for kids to volunteer to stay after school and help clean up. Jeffrey didn't raise his hand to volunteer himself.

There were many times before where he could have done something, but didn't.

There was no difference between those times and this particular one. So why did Jeffrey feel so strongly this time, what was it in his mind that made him so adamant?

Jeffrey came up with many logical and reasonable answers to justify his actions. His emotions and reason fighting against one another.

"I don't want to be a hero", Jeffrey reasoned.

In fact Jeffrey preferred to be a villain. Since being a villain you could do what you want, you didn't have to worry about doing the right thing or taking responsibility. He didn't have to think of the possibility that he was the bad person thinking he was doing the right thing.

Thinking more deeply about the situation, he recalled the rumors that people talked about Dresden. There was no smoke without fire, so Dresden must have done something that made someone upset or unhappy.

"Were they the villains, was Dresden a bad person?", Jeffrey asked himself.

Perhaps Dresden wasn't a bad person, but his actions seemed unscrupulous at best. If he chose to do nothing to stop him, even though he could, would that even make him a good person?

Various moral questions and dilemmas arose in his mind.

Jeffrey was absent-mindedly thinking this while playing the notes sheet music in front of him.

Out of habit and the hours he spent practicing, he pressed the correct keys on the saxophone and blowing the appropriate into the instrument. His other bandmates beside him did the same.

The piece they were currently practicing was from class suggestion, a music piece by CaptainSparklez and TryHardNinja called "Fallen Kingdom".

As they continued to play, Jeffrey looked around the room.

He could see a little more than half having a jar that their science project group created. Tanoshi Oobleck, Art slime, glow-in-the-dark versions, and scented types as well.

To a certain extent, they had achieved success in this moment in time.

"Was this all that success amounted to?", Jeffrey thought. "Knowing that he had made something and that was it?"

Jeffrey thought that their project had more potential, however his thoughts differed from Dresden's.

Perhaps Dresden had good intentions to promote their project while making lots of money in the process. The science project being a vehicle to make money.

However Jeffrey realized why he started this project, the very same reason he convinced Preston just a few months ago.

Jeffrey wanted to "change the world", but he also wanted to change himself. He wasn't planning on staying the same, he wanted to learn, to grow, to change. And he wanted to do it alongside the people he called his friends.

He started this project because he wanted to do something and he wanted to bring his friends along with him.

"Everyone get out the practice book and turn to page 54", Mrs. Brown interrupted his thoughts.

Jeffrey reached into his backpack for the book and placed it on the music stand. He was sharing the music stand with Aleena, so he flipped the book to page 54 and adjusted it to make sure it was visible to both of them.

Then they started to play the practice scales as per usual before the end of class.

When they finished, Jeffrey started to take apart and clean his instrument. No one was in a particular hurry because this was the last class of the day.

Mrs. Browne had ended class early so all the kids had some time to relax and pack up. They had a few minutes before the bell rang and then they would be dismissed.

Some of the band kids went up to her to ask questions about various music problem for the next performance.

Mr. Zapato asked her about some practice methods to get better.

Steven Harris was busy practicing on the snare drum with Joey Bern, with fellow percussionist Vivian Kingburry watching on the side.

Jeffrey sat silently at his seat processing all his thoughts before grabbing another notebook to start writing it all down. A few library books in his backpack sat unopened.

Instead of spending the majority of his free time during the day as he usually did reading, his mind was occupied with his group's science project. Now he had resolved his source of anxiety and discomfort. It was time to do something about it.