As I did my best to actually pay attention in class I couldn't help but still think about how I would avoid the guys when I got home. I had to get my work done. Would they even understand that? Probably not since they're all school drop outs.
My anger was getting at me and right then I didn't care.
The bell rang and I put my stuff together when someone called for me.
"Ms. Bright? Can i see you for a second?"
I turned to see it was my teacher.
Great.
"Y-yes ma'am?'
She looked at me with a worried expression but I could still see some disappointment in her eyes.
"Are you doing all right? You've been off in class."
Crap. She noticed. My teacher. The last person I'd think to notice. I guess I really am acting off.
"Yeah. Just stressed a little."
"I know stress from students. This isn't just stress. Something has come to change you. In class you seemed anywhere but here."
Double crap.
"It's nothing really. Every student struggles, right?"
I had to get out of there. Soon I couldn't stand it here with here peering down on me.
"Does it have to do with recent events of last year?"
By now her class was full and I was late to my next class. It took me a while for the question she asked to get to me though.
Did it have to do with then?
"I'm fine Mrs. Turner. Now, I have to get to my next class. Can you please make a pass for me?"
I was angry. Why? I was confused. She was just asking me questions. Things are changing. I was changing.
Mrs. Turner sighed and quickly wrote me a note. Her class was staring, I could feel it.
I took the note when she handed it to me and started heading out the door when she said, "I'm always here for you if you need the help."
Now I felt bad. She just wanted to help me. It was all their fault. If only they'd leave me alone.
It took me all of my energy not to crumple up the note Mrs. Turner wrote for me in all of my confusion.
I hated this.
I just wanted to be in my room away from it all.
But even there I wouldn't be alone or away from it.
I wish I was under my tree, next to Justin, laughing at old times.
But that couldn't even happen either.
I wish dad were here to rub my back and say in his comforting voice, "It's all going to be ok. Things will straighten out."
But that can't happen either.
The halls started to stretch and I got dizzy. I leaned to the wall and felt my head get heavy along with my legs
I just wish...
I fell to the ground and felt my eyes close watching the walls of the hall fade in and out.
I just wish I wasn't the reason Justin and dad died.