Randi's Home

In the car she was driving himself, Laras was still trying to calm all her confusion. It's not as bad as it was this morning. Even before leaving, she had vomited violently when she smelled she own perfume. It made her not stop biting her nails even to the point of getting hurt.

Luckily, she can still drive well. Although occasionally she banged her forehead on the steering wheel when stuck in traffic. But, so far, still fine. Long ago, Laras had been driving with this anxious state, instead of reaching her destination, she was the one who was rushed to the hospital because she was involved in an accident with a large truck.

Irony.

People around him think Laras is a woman with a perfect life. Both of her parents belong to a wealthy family with their own business which is arguably more than successful. Then, it's her beautiful face that makes Laras often get privileges in various ways. Coupled with the existence of Randi, an almost perfect man who is always by her side. Treated her like a queen, never hurt her even once.

But who would have thought, behind that perfection, Laras always routinely experiences excessive panic attacks. Not once or twice did she experience symptoms that could be considered as self-harm. It was all because of the person who was in her past. That person always came to Laras as well as her mother. Asking for so many weird things that even Laras can't do. Until finally, Laras could only endure the fear alone. Because, as much as possible she acts normal in front of everyone. Trying hard to prove that her life is really this perfect.

Unknowingly, Laras' car had entered the yard of Randi's house. The large fence that was deliberately left open made it easier for Laras to enter without having to push the heavy fence first.

Laras squeezed her hand tightly. Letting go of the fear that kept attacking her head. Taking a deep breath, Laras finally knocked on Randi's door.

"Excuse me?!" She shouted. Because she knows this big house can't be penetrated by her little voice.

About a minute Laras stood finally the door opened. Showing a middle-aged woman in pink pajamas that fit perfectly on her body.

Ratih, mother of Randi.

"Hey? Laras? Oh, honey, I really miss you."

Laras' worries melted a little when her body was grabbed in the warm embrace of the woman she had considered her second mother. The warmth that resembled her own mother's embrace, made her dissolve in comfort. It didn't even feel like they had been hugging each other for almost a minute.

"Laras miss mom so much." Laras said when his arms were released.

"Mom also misses Laras very much. I'm sorry, honey, I can't attend your parents' funeral. Because I just came back from Bogor to visit Randi's grandfather." Ratih cupped Laras face with both hands. Gently rub the soft skin. Hoping that her stroking can just a little remove the sad expression that is still lodged in the beautiful face of the prospective son-in-law.

"It's okay, Mom. Laras is fine."

Ratih knew, the girl in front of her was doing a lie. Lies to herself. Regarding the situation, which is clearly not okay, she admits that everything is under control. However, Ratih did not pay attention to it. She knows, it takes time for someone to forget the departure of their loved ones. Especially her own parents.

"Come on, come in. Mom is makes for your favorite chocolate donut."

Laras obeyed when Ratih escorted her into the house. A very warm house with love that always surrounds every member.

"Sit down, Honey, I will get the donuts for a moment."

Laras just nodded. In her heart, she wanted to meet Randi soon. She needs a warm hug from the man, or just a 'its okay, I'm here.'

"Here, let's try it."

Laras took a donut and immediately devoured it enthusiastically. To be more precise, the enthusiasm is far-fetched. Because actually, her stomach was not okay.Luckily at this time he was not hit by severe nausea or suddenly vomiting like this morning.

"Where's Randi, Mom? I'm looking for him. We already made an appointment to meet here." Laras immediately said her goal. Because if not, Ratih will always hold her back with a myriad of stories that can be considered boring for Laras.

"Oh, yash? But Randinya hasn't come home yet. He didn't tell you, did he?" Laras shoulders drooped limp after hearing that.

"No, Mom. He said that he was on the road, maybe he got stuck in traffic, didn't he?" Laras said it as a sedative to herself.

"Yeah, I guess. Do you want to wait? But it's a shame Mom has to go to a neighbor's house. We have a social gathering. So, are you okay, if Mom lives alone? Randi's father is out of town, our housemaid is also on vacation." Ratih said with a guilty tone. She stroked Laras black mane affectionately. Staring at the girl's with warm eyes.

"It's okay, Mom. I'll wait alone."

"Alright, let's just wait for Randi in his room. You can rest at the same time."

The smell of bellagio wafted out so strong as soon as Ratih opened the door to Randi's ivory white room. Spacious room with cream colored paint, very neat for a boy's size. But naturally, because this is Randi. Perfectionist man who always prioritizes neatness in everything.

"Well, Laras just lie down first, it's okay. Wait for Randi, okay, if you want to drink take yourself in the kitchen, okay?" Lara nodded with a smile. She was a little moved when Ratih moved closer, to kiss her temple affectionately. Just like a mother to her biological child.

"So, I will left, okay?"

The door was tightly closed. Leaving Laras who immediately inhaled Randi's scent deeply. The smell of opium always managed to calm her down. She walked slowly towards Randi's study table, until she found a figure containing herself and Randi who was smiling broadly at the camera. The photo was taken when they both graduated from high school. A sweet moment that Laras can never forget.

Laras took the figure, hugged the small square photo frame. Then, she lay on Randi's big bed. Makes her nose can smell more strongly the scent of bellagio from there.

"Randi, I hope that no matter what happens to our relationship, you can still keep your own promises. Where, you will stay by my side, no matter what the circumstances. Destroyed whatever the reality is."

The cold temperature of the air conditioner, as well as the calming aroma, made Laras dissolve into a cloudy daydream. Until unconsciously, she was fixated on a pseudo shadow. Until finally she closed her eyes, to enter the dream in which he wandered in it.