Hugs For Laras

Angry, disappointed and annoyed mixed into one. Who wouldn't be angry if they were in Laras' position? Thrown away, as if garbage could pollute the environment. Even though the beginning of all this was Randi himself, but the man seemed to have raised his hand at the risk of his own actions.

Laras did not cry, because it would be a waste. What she needs to think about now is how her life will be in the future? What will happen to the child in her womb? She will not be able to live alone with a child without a father. But on the other hand, she also does not want to marry someone she has never loved before.

Love will grow with time. That's roughly what many people say. But for Laras, marriage occurs when both partners love each other. Not just one of them, but both.

The journey home was completely filled with silence. Nindy was still busy driving or occasionally glanced at Laras, whether the woman beside her would cry blood or be worse than that. But unexpectedly, Laras didn't cry at all. The expression on her face was sad, sad and disappointed mixed into one. But strangely, there were no tears running down her cheeks. She just leaned back in the chair with her eyes staring out the window. Watching how the sun goes down slowly. Leaving blue clouds and orange light are very beautiful to the eye.

"Thanks and sorry, I have to go in now." Without waiting for a response from Nindy, Laras immediately pushed the gate open. She walked quickly to get to her room. Nindy herself doesn't talk much, she really understands how Laras is feeling right now. All she did was order food online to be delivered to this address. Because she was one hundred percent sure that Laras would not eat on her own initiative.

Arriving in the room, Laras spilled everything. Emotions, annoyance as well as tears mixed together with the sad tones that played loudly from his cellphone. She wept over all that had befallen her incessantly. Mom's departure is also bad, Yuni's treatment is always rude, the presence of a fetus that is not expected until Randi's refusal. Everything gathered inside Laras head. Dancing non-stop, as if she was teasing Laras if he was indeed a creature that was hated by God. Therefore, God gave her many trials.

"Randi." Laras whispered in between sobs.

Her breath hitched, tightness began to feel also dizzy that enveloped her head. So without hesitation, Laras got up. Quickly opened the nightstand drawers only to find five yellow pills. Laras should never touch the pill again, because she had promised Randi. However, since the person who forbade it had already left, it would be fine if Laras swallowed it a few times.

"Two or three? Or five at once?" Laras asked herself. About how many pills she had to swallow in order to sleep forever. Three or five? But it looks like the dose won't have much effect. Because she had tried it before.

"Just two, who knows they all die." Laras seems to be no longer strong with the various voices in her head.

The voices were very disturbing, especially Ratih's voice which clearly rejected it firmly. It was too painful, Laras could no longer hear or even just remember it.

Her right hand already holds a glass of water, while in her left hand there are five yellow pills ready to drink. Laras had just opened her mouth to swallow a pill, but failed when she found her bedroom door knocked down from the outside.

Bruak!!!

"Laras?!!"

No, it wasn't Nindy's voice that always prevented her from taking this pill. It was Panji's voice, with a panicked face, and sweat dripping from his forehead. The man immediately stood up after falling on the door that had been released from its place.

Laras didn't respond, she was still surprised by the strong thumping sound that came from the door that was forcibly opened by Panji. As for Panji himself, he was already running towards Laras. Take all the pills in Laras' hands, then throw them right into the trash.

"Why was it thrown away?!" Of course Laras did not accept it. She wanted to swallow the pill immediately so he could fall asleep peacefully. So that she can forget for a moment how complicated the problems in life are.

"Don't be like that," said Panji. He even took the glass from Laras' hands in anticipation that it would fly towards him like that night.

"What are you doing? You come here and throw away my medicine. I want to sleep you know?! Tired of walking all day!" Laras glared at Panji. Although the man only replied with warm eyes as usual.

"I don't want you to be upset." Panji spoke calmly. He was still standing, slightly bent down to look at Laras.

"I'm not going to be okay just because of sleeping pills!" Laras' tone was still high. She who was already annoyed to death, was only made even more irritated by the presence of Panji here.

"It will be okay if you drink five grains at once. Laras, I know we--"

"NO!!!" Laras shouted. She shouted loudly to deny Panji's words. "You don't know anything and please don't pretend to be a person!"

Laras stood up, about to leave Panji. But her intentions were dashed when Panji pulled her hand firmly so she turned around, turned and entered Panji's arms.

"What are you doing?!" Laras rebels. She hit Panji's shoulder for the man to let go of her embrace.

Panji did not just let go of his arms. He still wrapped his arms around Laras' small body. He didn't even hesitate to gently stroke Laras' narrow back.

"Panji, let go?!!!" Laras squealed. She just wanted to cry. Either crying because of the annoying Panji or crying because fate was so cruel to her.

"Later, I know you need a hug." Panji said calmly. His hand was still moving to stroke Laras back.

"What the hell?! Let me go?! If I don't, I'll hit?!!"

"Just hit it, if that calms you down." Laras was silent. "I know you're sad, I know you're disappointed. I'd much rather see you cry than secretly swallow all that medicine at once. Laras, I love you. I won't let you drown in that cloudy daydream alone always by your side, no matter the circumstances."

"Stupid, huh?! I'm okay, just let it go." Laras was still trying to let go of Panji's arms.

"Even though I can't see your face right now, I can already tell that you're holding back from crying. So, let's cry."

"Panji, let go?"

"Do not want."

In that very second, Laras cried loudly in Panji's arms.