On the floor...

It's been two days since everything has enrolled. All I have been doing is to adjust to the situation that I don't know how to elope. How it happened I don't know, too, I still ask myself endless posed questions. I wish I had answered too but nothing.

Yesterday after everything we had been through, Tlo called, only if I knew what was going to happen, I wasn't going to answer the call but since I was in a dark cloud, I did. What I regret the most is letting Tlo be my everything, I have let him control my emotions and that's the worse I have ever done.

Yesterday he told me that he can't be in this relationship since I don't trust him. He feels as if he will have to work his ass off for me to trust him, and hence we were not dating yet but showily leading there. He lengthily explained how he has been feeling, and he ended things without wanting to know how I felt about the whole situation.

I had no words for him, but I was already having feelings for him. I might not have let him know how I felt about him, but I was already in it deeply. He was the only person I was able to talk to him openly about everything. I let him understand what my ex-boyfriend had put me through but here he is doing the same things not when I am in the middle of writing my trial exams.

I was broken.

Furthermore, I sat in my room for multiple days without doing anything, I tried studying, but I couldn't. Likewise, I cried myself to sleep every day. My heart was cut into multiple pieces. It felt like everything in this world was against what I was doing, against me. My life was on stand by but was his?

Is he feeling the same?

You see, that question right there changed my whole day. It changed how I was feeling. I picked myself up and walked to the bathroom and cleaned myself up.

Crying over a man who causes you pain ain't right. Why waste your complete fucked energy over a person who doesn't give a fucked shit about you?

Why do that to yourself, while that person is probably living his best life? I smiled to myself when positive thoughts started generated in my brain.

You see, what is wrong with being heartbroken, is that we waste our time trying to grieve over that particular person. After I bathed, I took a paper and started writing "How to get over him"

Rule number 1

Never cry over a person who broke your heart because he doesn't care about you.

And if he cared about you, he wasn't going to hurt you because him seeing you in pain would break him into pieces. No men can hurt what they love, they protect what they love and what's close to their hearts.

Crying over him is a waste of your time because they will never come back at you unless they want something (which is pussy or when they truly loved you) and that only happens when you give it to them in styles. No man can go back to a stiff bitch.

Have you ever wondered why married men always have sick chicks? They call them night snacks. They call them snacks because it only satisfies their cravings at that moment. And you know why they go back to their 'night snack' It's because it is not eaten frequently but only on random days. Snacks women are taken for granted, but they superhero's for some relationships/marriages. Those people get more than what you all get from your relationships.

I ain't promoting ladies to be night snacks but if you feel it would be better not to be miserable, then that's your department. And one should know how to control their feelings after a break-up. Never waste your time over a man.

Men are nothing without women... A man will value you and your importance in being in their lives.

My sister wakes up from that wet pillow that you are lying on and don't your tears and your emotions control you.

Don't let your emotions control you. I know it might be hard but be a boss of your happiness. That nigga you are crying for is probably fucking a low-class bitch that is obsessed with you. Don't undermine yourself because you will never know what others see when they see you.

Pick yourself up, I know you can.

Why were you crying over a dick that couldn't keep you up the whole night?

The dick that made you cum once?

Is that what you are crying for, sister? Is that what you truly deserver?

No, baby girl, you deserve more than that.

Pick yourself up and control your emotions, the world is waiting for you to take over…

After I wrote all that piece of work, I felt a little better. One thing about me writing is an escape in everything it heals me.

I walked to the closet and took out my outfit since we had a girl's night out. I dressed up in my nude tight dress And wore my see-through heels and walked out of my room and greeted my parents on my way out. Yes, they have been worried about me.

I found my Uber already outside. I got in and let the music heal me. When we got into the restaurant, I was surprised by what I saw. I wanted to turn over and go where I was, but I also wanted to run to him and act as nothing happened and kiss his face for days. But surprisingly, I stood where I was and let my feelings overcome me. Tears started falling on my chicks. Emotions were all over for a person I couldn't even call mine. My heartbeat increased its pace as my throat felt a stone where the air was supposed to pass. It felt hard to breathe, and tears fell in silence.

I tried to process what I was going through, but it was too late. When I finally noticed that I was lying to myself that I could just let this go. When I finally excepted that I was deeply in love with Tlo, I fell on the floor and that was the end of my thoughts being produced on my brain.

My heart stagnated.