[64.4] Cyrus POV: Nothing Left to Lose

[Author's note: This chapter is from Cyrus's point of view.]

[***DISCLAIMER: This chapter mentions animal violence, suicidal ideation, blood, attempted murder, and violence against women, which some readers may find uncomfortable.]

I flew backward and soon found myself landing in another memory. In this one, she appeared in front of a door. I immediately recognized it, "Isn't this her parent's house?"

Even though I hadn't seen it since her earlier memories and it had obviously aged, I knew what it was.

Reika hesitated for a long time before reaching out and hitting a button. I heard a bell chime from inside, then there was the sound of unhurried footsteps. The door opened to reveal an older woman, "Huh. Never thought I would see you again."

Reika forced on a smile, "Hello… Mother. Can I come in?"

Her mother looked her up and down and stepped to the side, "Come on then."

Reika entered the room, looking around and spotting the differences over the years. Her gaze weakened when she realized there was not a single picture of her on the wall.

It was as if she had never existed in this household.

Her mother put down a cup of tea at the table and spoke in a mocking tone, "And to what do I owe this rare visit?"

Reika pursed her lips as she joined her, "I was hoping that I could stay here a few days…"

"Why? Did your art career crumble just as I knew it would? Are you homeless now?"

Reika clenched her fists, "No. I was ordered to take a few months off from work-"

"HAH! I knew it. I was right."

Reika trembled with rage and just as she was about to shout, the front door opened. An older man in glasses entered the room. He suddenly stopped, staring at Reika with a blank expression. He rubbed his eyes and checked again.

Reika smiled to greet him, "Hello-"

Her father walked past her, not even acknowledging her presence.

Reika forced on a self-deprecating smile, "I see you are still ignoring me. Does that mean you still hate me?"

Her father paused for a brief moment, before continuing to the sink to wash his hands.

He didn't respond at all.

Her mother finally snapped, "Instead of being rude, why don't you tell us why you're really here?"

"Can't I just visit my parents?"

Her mother snickered, "Not you. So come on. Out with it. What do you want? Money?"

"No! I don't want money!! I just want-" Reika forced herself to stop and take a deep breath. Then she faced her mother, "I want to know why you didn't visit me in the hospital."

A dish suddenly fell to the ground, smashing into pieces. Her father didn't say anything and went to clean it up.

Her mother didn't even blink as she stared ahead with her arms crossed, "Why would we visit you in the hospital?"

Reika slammed her hands on the table, "I ALMOST DIED! My ex-boyfriend STABBED me! Don't you care?!"

"Hah. Why would we care? You probably did something to deserve it."

Reika leaned back in surprise. Her anger completely disappeared and was replaced by pained disbelief, "What… Are you saying… Are you trying to say that it was my fault?"

"I'm just saying a man doesn't go that crazy unless the woman makes him crazy."

"You've got to be kidding me… He tried to stab me!!!"

"And what did you do to cause that? Did you cheat on him?"

Reika stood up so abruptly, the chair fell back, "I almost died! As in dead! Do you understand what that means?! It means you almost had TWO dead children!"

"How DARE you!" Her mother jumped up and used her strength to slap Reika across the cheek, "Don't you dare bring up my son with that wretched tongue of yours!"

Reika stared blankly as she listened without speaking.

I could see all of her pain.

Her sorrow.

I watched as her life filtered by her eyes when she realized something…

She had nothing left.

She had no one.

Her mother spat out at her, "I wish you died all those years ago instead of your brother."

Reika suddenly straightened up, her eyes blank and devoid of emotion. She grabbed her suitcase and started rolling it to the door. Her mother saw this and raised an eyebrow, "Just where are you going now?"

"I'm leaving." Reika paused at the door and turned to both her parents, "Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Kang. From now on, just tell everyone your daughter is dead too…. Because for me, I don't have any parents."

As Reika left the house, I watched her parent's reaction. It was the first time I saw a pained expression on her father's face as he whispered, "Reika… Don't say that."

Her mother scoffed, "She's just being dramatic again. Just watch. She will be back in a few years looking for a handout."

The memory abruptly faded. The only thing visible was Reika walking as she rolled her suitcase beside her. She walked down the desolate road, pausing when she reached a flight of familiar stairs. Turning up the stairs, she climbed the steps a broken and defeated person.

She made it to the temple and fell to her knees, casting her suitcase aside.

"Why… Why? It hurts… It hurts to even breathe… I can't even think without drowning in agony… I have no one… No one! My friend… Is gone… My cat…"

She broke into sobs.

"I thought you gave him to me to fix me… To apologize to me… Why did you have to take it away? Why did you have to give me hope just to rip it from me!?"

She screamed to the heavens, "TELL ME! What have I done to deserve all this!?! All I ever wanted was for someone to love me!!! Is that asking too much?! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE ALL THIS?!"

Reika collapsed onto the cold, lifeless dirt.

"Did I really commit such a horrible sin that anyone who loves me will also suffer?"

When she finally raised her head, her eyes were gray. She murmured, "Maybe I should drop the case against him… After all… Even though he hurt me… He was the only one who has ever loved me."

"No… Reika. That's not true-" I reached out to her but my hands passed through. I stared at my transparent hands in defeat. However, facing her… I whispered, "I love you."

A voice echoed in the empty space, "It's in these moments where you realize you are truly alone. There's no one to help you, no one to console you. All you have is a black hole in your heart, growing larger and larger. You want to cry, but you can't even move. You're stuck. It's then that you realize that nothing even mattered… Because you are stuck. Right. There."

The scene changed and Reika was standing on a bridge, looking down at a fast-moving river. She put her foot out, but a breeze pushed her back. Her body trembled as she held the fence. Too afraid to move, she hopped back over the fence. She collapsed onto the ground sobbing, "I can't do it… I can't… Even though… I have nothing left to live for."