Pain And… 19A

"That's what she told you?" Otto asked. Sunday afternoon after Sawyer told him what Hannah said. Sawyer nodded in response. "My mom never called me handsome or beautiful."

"My mom did. Not even when you were a kid?"

After some thought, "Not that I remember."

"My mom did." 'My beautiful boy.' She called him and Tom. The slight variation of girl for Peggy. He never took it seriously. When he was older she'd sit next to him, pull his face to meet her's and say, 'Look how handsome you've become.' Tom always had a filled day with that. "That explains Tom. He's very well aware of himself." He scoffed, shaking his head.

"Oh he is." Otto chuckled. "I remember… and Tate. I don't know who's worse."

Sawyer chuckled. "They're like the same person sometimes."

"So what's supposed to happen now?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter."

Otto ran his hand through his hair. "I got that game finally."

"Oh cool! Now we can play together. Should we call Elle?"

"Mmm… no. I've waited too long already. I don't want to wait anymore."

Sawyer shook his head. "That's so mean. Where's the other controller?"

Otto's forehead creased. "And I'm mean?"

"Call her then. If she's too busy to come over, we'll play. Do you have any snacks? We could use some snacks."

Otto squinted his eyes suspiciously at Sawyer. "I'm not a fool. You're not going to get me to wait. I'll play without you."

Sawyer chuckled.

***

Richard assessed Sawyer. He looked worse. Thinner, even more restless than before. And clearly, he was masking all that by talking. His classes, the parties he went to, his date with his girlfriend, his ex girlfriend calling and how they talked for quite a while. His face changed when he brought that up. Almost as bright as when he talked about Hannah. Speaking of Hannah. "Did you do what I suggested? Did you stop recording and focus in class?"

"Yeah. I did."

"So you've been sleeping better?"

"Yeah."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Wrong?"

"You look like you haven't been eating. You've lost weight. Are you doing drugs?"

"Drugs?" His forehead creased. "No."

"Then what aren't you telling me."

"You're not my diary. I don't even have a diary." Sawyer's voice was rising.

"I'm supposed to help you help yourself past your grief."

"No. I'm supposed to sit here helping you get paid! I didn't want come here in the first place remember?!"

"Yes." Richard answered calmly. "But you're here now. You were making progress."

"Progress?" He scoffed. "So I'm not anymore? And you think it's because of drugs?"

"Losing a l-"

"Don't!" He barked. "Don't say it. I know what I lost." What he's losing it felt like. "I don't need you to remind me. I'm fine. I hang out with my friends, I go out, I attend classes. I go on dates with Hannah. I'm fine."

"Then why are you losing weight?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm sick! Is this over? How long do I have to be here for?"

"How about a drug test?"

"Is my word not good enough?" This won't end. So much for telling him almost everything. "Get it over with then." He folded his arms.

***

Days later. Elle –"We're coming in a few minutes." Sawyer walked towards his room door and glared down at the text he'd gotten. Not sure he was prepared for a visit and honestly, he didn't want to prepare for one. Not that he had to do anything, besides… he's just not in the mood.

"Hi." Hannah appeared by his side with a smile on her face.

He looked down at her. She looked ready to say something he wouldn't like. "Don't."

"Don't what?" The mischief on her face turned to innocence.

He closed his eyes, sighed and chuckled as they walked up to his door and he unlocked it. "If you call me that..."

"We already established that you are." She entered before him.

"Don't do it Hannah." He warned. He put the key on the inside of the lock and closed the door.

She sighed, dropping down on his bed and lying down. "Fine. How was class?"

"It gave me a head ache." And he would like to sleep it off. But Otto and Noelle and possibly Wendy would be over in- a knock attacked his ears. Then another came. Crap. His ten minutes were up.

"Hey." The door opened. In walked Otto and Noelle after him.

Hannah sat up. "Oh hi Hannah Barbra. Didn't see you there." Otto smiled. Reminded of what Sawyer said she said.

"Hannah!" Noelle rushed past Otto and sat on the bed beside her.

"Hi!" Hannah greeted with just as much enthusiasm.

Sawyer looked from Otto to Noelle to Hannah and then walked over to his desk to drop his bag. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. We just stay here and he doesn't invite me to come hang with you guys."

Sawyer turned around with a small smile. "I didn't think you wanted to."

"You didn't ask."

"If you wanted to see Elle, you can always just go to her room." That came out a little more snappy than he wanted it to. He earned looks from his friends and a glare from Hannah.

Hannah remembered what he'd said just before they came in. Her glare softened out. "I don't think we can stay guys. He's not feeling well."

"You're not?" Otto assessed him. "Or are you covering up for him sounding so-"

"I'm not. He told me." "Ok well, I came to tell you that we've got plans for tonight." Noelle announced.

"Tonight? Oh come on Elle. I'm not going to another party. If I have to, I'm locking my door. I'm not. I'm just not." Otto spoke his mind on the matter.

"Oh relax. It's not a party."

"It's like we're out every other weekend."

"It's not like Wade. We are out. You went to two parties last weekend." Otto again.

"Okay calm down. It's not a party. The theater department is having a Shakespearean drama thing. Three nights of plays. From the different classes. First years to fourth years. I got us tickets."

"No way! I got tickets for Sawyer and I." Hannah announced.

Sawyer rubbed the back of his head. The day before Peggy's birthday. His heart skipped a beat. Great.

Noelle was disappointed. "Aww… a wasted ticket."

"Wendy can come. I probably would have gotten her a ticket and Wade would have had to leave ha- this way, we all get to go."

"Three days?" Sawyer ignored Otto's blunder.

"Three nights actually. Today, Friday, Saturday." Hannah explained.

"When does this start? It's almost four." If he has to do this… why can't he say no? Because he always thinks it'll make him feel better to just try. Even now. Especially now. To keep him distracted. If it works.

"Seven." Noelle this time.

"I better go tell Wendy then." Otto left.

"I've done my part, so I'll see you guys later." Noelle left.

Hannah turned to him. "We get to hang out with my friends tonight." He pointed out, smiling. "We're use to hanging out together. And then Wendy started coming along but I didn't want Elle to feel like a third wheel so I didn't ask you."

"Fifth wheel."

"Yeah right." He scoffed. "And I assumed you were busy or didn't want to."

She smiled. "I'll come get you by six forty five okay?" She got up and went for the door. She looked back at him. "You're sweet. How can't I like you? Get some rest."