Case 17.5: “Zhao Yu's Diary Part 1.”

I don't know how long has it been since I felt this way. The feeling of not having any objective in life or something to look forward to. In the past, my family gave me a reason to keep on living even if life is rough, and I'm not a stranger to hardships. So I thought as long as I have a clear objective in life, there was no problem… until I met him.

He was the one who introduces me to the joy of life, like a painter who creates beautiful paint on a blank canvas which was my life. But I'm the one who killed him…

There was nothing I could do, I was desperate, panicked, and trapped in fear. He was my best friend but I didn't realize I never wanted to rely on him or tell me what troubles me. I thought by standing beside him for many years, I could learn one or two from him and become equal to him. I was too proud and I thought I could do everything by myself.

But I ended up sacrificing the one I loved the most. The joy of my life…

Encouraged by self-hatred and revenge, I killed those who schemed against us. I've prepared new documents and tickets for my family to live in another country, so I could feel at ease leaving them and go to hell where Haoran is waiting. I was the one who betrayed him, made him get imprisoned and humiliating before death. Surely, he's waiting for me at the hell's gate and beat the shit out of me, and I don't mind. As long as it is him, I'm willing to do whatever he says. Or at least that's what I thought…

I can't believe I got reincarnated into another world similar to a Chinese ancient martial arts movie that Haoran often watch. I was reborn as a female heir in a martial arts family who happened to be the leader of the best sect in the kingdom. Although it is a prestigious family, but my parents were barely staying at home, especially my mother. She loves to travel around the world, God knows where she is right now. Then, there's my father who is as cold as an ice. Only my brothers were kind to me, especially my younger brother. He loves to be pampered by me and naturally grew possessive for me.

Still, even if my new every day isn't as boring as my previous life, I still couldn't enjoy it. I killed myself to see Haoran, why on earth did I get reincarnated instead? What about Haoran? Did he gets reincarnated as well? If so, will he still remember about the previous life as I did?

The more I think about it the more I miss him, my older brother thought I was bored for being like a caged bird in the house. So he took me out on a walk to the village, it was my first time stepping out of the house after living for 5 years. The village was quite lively and no one was doing crime here, in short, it was totally peaceful.

I walked around as I enjoyed the view around until someone caught my eye…

Her lustrous black hair was tied up into a ponytail, her skin is as white as a snow jade, her features were very exquisite that made me turned around subconsciously. But what attracts me the most was her beautiful Aquamarine eyes, it looks like a gemstone.

I thought she was cute and pleasing to the eye, I was about to call her but she had already disappeared from my sight. What a pity, I thought… but I never expected we will meet again and become close.

Her name was Duan Meifeng, she's the granddaughter of the referred Grandmaster of Taoism. I heard she was a mixed-blood which is why her appearance was quite unusual.

We spent time together nearly every day and we both enjoyed it. Unfortunately, she had to go by only leaving a single note and an Aquamarine pendant which kind of resembled her beautiful eyes. I was sad and aggrieved, but what hit me the most was when I found out about her condition.

"She currently can't live past ten. That's why the Grandmaster had to bring her away with him…"

Why? Can't live past ten? Why didn't she tell me?

Why, why, why, why…

She's my second joy and my chance to begin anew. Why would God be so cruel by taking everyone that is dear to me? First, it was Haoran, now it's Meifeng. It's so cruel…

"Yu'er, you haven't eaten anything since yesterday…"

Zhao Yi knocked on the door outside and entered my study room. Ever since Meifeng's departure, I didn't have a good appetite nor the will to fill my nourishment. It's as if she had gone away along with my will to live.

"Yu'er, even if you are not hungry you should eat a little. Meifeng won't be happy to see you like this…"

At first, I didn't care about what this older brother of mine would say and keep staring at the Aquamarine pendant in a daze. But after hearing him mentioned her name, I regained my senses and finally looked at him. Zhao Yi stared at me with eyes filled with sorrow, until I can't tell which one of us is the pitiful one here.

"Why didn't she tell me about such a critical matter?" I asked my older brother faintly, I could feel my eyes began to wet again just like the past few days.

The moment I asked the question, Zhao Yi looked at me even more frustrated. Whether it's because of the same question I kept asking for the past few days or my voice that sounded like in despair, Zhao Yi couldn't give me a proper answer. He tried to coax me last time, but it only made me even sadder.

I hate Meifeng for not telling me about such an important thing, but I feel my heart warm when she told me to wait for her. Implying she will definitely come back by leaving this Aquamarine pendant to me.

Thinking about some of the resentment I felt towards Meifeng, it constantly reminded me of Haoran. Is this what he feels when I choose to betray him instead of relying on him?

No wonder he was so indifferent when I visited him in the prison last time. Turns out this is how he felt…

"Ge, I want to be alone for now. Just leave the food on my table, I will eat it later… Meifeng promised to come back, so I won't let myself die of starving."

"Great! Then, be sure to eat everything okay? I'll come back later to check up on you."

"Yeah."

After Zhao Yi closed the door, my brain circuit went circulated again. Most of it has become irritating and a little expectant. I clutched the Aquamarine pendant on my hand and said quietly,

"I'll wait for you no matter what." and if you didn't come back until I graduated from the sect, I'll find you myself and see how I will settle account with you!