Chapter 19 Chapter 19

His words stirred both fear and confusion inside me. Was his feelings for me that intense that he himself didn't knew what did he felt for me? Was I that difficult to love or was he incapable of love but was trying to love me? Fresh and raw emotions were slowly igniting in me, making me feel what I shouldn't had.

"I-I don't understand." I stammered, wanting to knew what did he meant. He turned his back away, his fists clenched and his shoulders slowly and steadily moving up like he was taking deep breaths.

"You should sleep. You're body is weak." His deep voice engulfed me in it's powerful cage and I swallowed.

He don't want to talk about his feelings.

Reality sucked me in. Maybe he was afraid to admit his emotions? Maybe he was too stubborn to realized his own sentiments.

"Well said. I'm tired." I was tired, both emotionally, mentally and physically.

Unclenching of his fists told me how much relieved he was that I was leaving the topic behind but he was so wrong, I would never let it go until or unless he show me his true self, his heart before he was turned into a monster.

Slowly, he turned around and unmistakable glint of something glistened in his light blue eyes, same eyes of child who was once tortured by his father. I gulped down, never in my twenty three years of life, I thought that behind Lucifer's bipolar self, his father would be responsible.

I jolted when he gripped my arm in his rough hand and pulled me towards him. Leaning forward, he whispered in my ear.

"It's time for your diet." He said and at first I couldn't understand but when I realized he was talking about his blood, I shivered.

I nodded. I needed his blood for my child, to protect my child.

Taking large strides, he pulled me with him towards our room. Our? When did to came to this? We crossed hallways, rooms, and took a familiar left, leading to Lucifer's chambers. The sun was set so the darkness of moon was lingering in whole castle with tinge of it's moonlight dancing along edges of windows.

His hold on me was not hard but not gentle either, but it was rather tense like his mind was contemplating something.

He opened the door, and pulled me inside and as well reached near bed, he let him of me. Silence was surrounding us with unspoken chaos of words around us. It wasn't a silent silence but silence filled with answers, I eagerly wanted to know.

"I loved my mother," Lucifer's deep voice rumbled in my ears and it didn't took me long to completely turned towards him. He wasn't facing me but to wall on our left. His body seemed stiff, tensed. Sensing my attention he continued, "She used to bake me her sweet cakes, whenever father was rough on me. Spending days with father, training and modifying myself, was more tougher than it looked. A blow to face if I loses a step, his claws ripping my skin if I don't remember a move, or his sword slapping my skin if I talked back, everything was touch for me and for her to watch her son being tortured my her husband."

There was a strange emotion in his voice, almost strain. And Didn't couldn't help but feel bad for him. Why? Maybe that was the difference between us.

He ran his hand through his hairs as he sighed.

"She would become victim of his relentless torture if she tried to save me from him. It was a lose-lose situation. If I train, I would be done for the day with broken limbs or skin and if she tries to help me, she would end up in dungeons, whipped or raped by him." His jaw twitched like he was recalling that memory and clenched his fist as he exhaled.

Wasn't he doing the same to me? Raping me.

"Years went, I finally become accustomed to his ways, obeying him, becoming a warrior, winning battles, he had a perfect warrior and I was his weapon, only a weapon. I begged, did things, to get him to love me, to show me affection but a time went, I realized loved can never be begged, it needed to be earn." Slowly he turned around, and saw undeniably emotions sparkling in his eyes. The sincerity of his eyes, the truth in his words, and the same intensity in his gaze, I gulped.

"And Melissa? Didn't you loved her?" I voiced out, softly, almost inaudibly. Strangely, his posture remained same and I didn't saw any change in his gaze or body, almost like he wasn't affected anymore by her name.

"It was too late when I realized the love I had for her was pure lust, sexual infatuation. I was young, reckless and with all of that, her arrival in my life ignited new sensations inside me. She was my first in every thing, to fuck, to kiss, to hold, to desire but when she threatened you, I realised, you were my first in something else." His eyes softened and I saw what I wished.

Affection.

I wanted him to feel this for me but I didn't know I wasn't ready to get enveloped in that feelings.

He sighed, taking a step towards me. His large frame towered over me and I craned my neck to meet his gaze.

He raised his eyes and my eyes closed instinctively. His rough fingers brushed against my cheek lightly, almost like a feather was touching me. I slowly opened my eyes and my breath hitched.

His eyes were cornflower blue, the hue of the most beautiful sky, the tint of magical emotions and the depth of crystal clear ocean. For the first time, I saw myself in them, reflecting on his pupils.

"I know I was never good to you, inflicting my rights on you was the worst thing I ever did, but I couldn't help but saw you in pain. My mother was killed and I saw Kendrio holding her body when I just arrived from a battle, and God knows what happened, next thing I know I was acting on my impulses, carnal hunger. You were nothing but the daughter of man who killed my mother. I wanted revenge amd hurting you, making you mine was best I could do." I listened carefully as his hands slowly and gently caressed my cheek, the proximity between us burning with flames and the warmth surrounding us for first time.

Lucifer gazed down at me.

"Before I realise my mistake, it was too late. I had already corrupted you, of your will, for your freedom, of your...dignity. But my anger knows no limit, I desperately desire you, Sarah. And I'm afraid of I will ever let you go. These seven months I spend without you in my arms, I felt....helpless." Sincerity in his words scared me. Was he admitting his feelings for me?

"I don't know if I love you but you're too precious for me to lose." I stared like a moth was attracted to flame. My breath threatened to stop when he leaned in and his lips almost brushed against mine.

"I can't lose you. You're mine." Claim. It was his claim. And he placed his hands on either side of my face, pulling me close as his lips softly touched mine. And then, the space between us exploded. My heart kept missing beats as his hands couldn't brought myself more closer. He tasted me like he was starving. I had loved before, Matthew, but it never felt like this. He had kissed me before but it never burned me alive, it never made me fly in seventh sky.

In that moment, it felt like he needed to consume me, to fill me up, to mark me his. This kiss sealed us for a moment of time, and that moment, he wordlessly showed me his emotions.

I shocked myself when a moan escaped my lips as I tried to reciprocate him, he seemed shocked for a moment as he stilled but then instantly, his hands softly descended down my body as he gripped my waist and pulled me impossible closer.

"I desire you. And my desire will destroy you in the end." He whispered against my lips as I panted heavily, and breathlessly looked up at him. He looked angelic, but with a soft tint of devil in his blues.

"I'm destroyed." I breathed and something flickered in his eyes as he averted his eyes before loosening his hold, almost like my touch burned him.

My words seemed to ignite something in him as he turned away. I saw as his shoulders heaved up and down slowly, like he was controlling his breathing. I stood there watching his broad back and clenched fists.

Thousands of imagination running in my mind.

"Get some sleep." He said, his voice deep laced with unknown. Without waiting for my reply, he stormed off, leaving me clueless and emotionally vulnerable.

I gulped.

Did I said something wrong?

Days passed, and I was still thinking about night he walked away without showing me his face for next month. And it had been a month since, I last saw him. I should be thankful, but I wanted to talk things out, to know what was going on in his mind.

And for last month, I was having his nightmares, him getting beaten by his father, his father abusing his mother. Even though, I never met Kendrio, I was feeling intense hate for that man.

I was sitting in garden, admiring the view but my mind was not peaceful, tranquility was not there, everything seemed chaotic. There were two guards guarding the perimeters, looking all tall and bluff.

And it has also been a week since I saw Victoria or Elijah. I wondered where they were? I was missing Karl terribly, I wanted his kisses and wante dto hear his sweet voice.

I sighed.

"You heard that?"

"Heard what?"

I jumped startled when two feminine voices ringed right behind me. I swiftly turned around and was immediately greeted with two girls wearing black and white dresses, which I presumed was maid's outfit, plucking roses from end. They probably didn't saw me here because I was sitting on ground, behind the bench, so, I leaned more to hear what they were stalking about when I heard very familiar name.

"I can't believe that Lord Lucifer is inviting Lady Zahara to live here, in Reynes." The one with short straight black hairs, said with a twist in her mouth.

Zahara? Who was she? And inviting? Why?

I listened closely when other one turned towards flowers before scoffing.

"She's a witch and I don't know why is he trying to form a bond between them and vampires and werewolves." She threw her hands in air before gathering red roses from plants and secured them in large wooden basket.

I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"And on top of that he wants to welcome her with thousand red roses! Like did he forget about Lady Sarah in his chambers?!" She narrowed her eyes looking up at window, which was Lucifer's room's window.

"Shh..if someone heard us bitching about him, we'll probably end up in cellars."

I drifted away as they started talking about foods and either stuff but my mind was panicked and confused. Who was he inviting and why?

They were right.

Lucifer had forgot about me.

Because whole castle was decorated with red roses, which were covering stair rails, beautifully covering ceiling and hundreds of roses were decorated around the castle. The fresh aroma was intoxicating and refreshing. However, a strange feeling was slowly ignition inside me. It had been a month and I was starting to show a little which was quiet normal because Victoria told me supernatural beings are born in give months.

Four more to go.

My stomach was slightly bulged out and I was getting tired easier.

All the servants were running here and there, with trays and plates and decorative pieces, and some were even carrying brooks and mops.

?"Hurry! Lord Lucifer will be here shortly!" One of the maid, I think the head one said rushing towards kitchen area carrying a large bowl filled with rose petals.

I furrowed my brows. Where was Lucifer?

And I thought I got my answer when the large doors of hall opened and a large silhouette blocked the sunlight coming from windows. I blinked my eyes when the frame took large and intimidating steps towards the hall.

I was standing near flower vase filled with roses, in right of last step of stairs.

So, he decided to show his face now, after a month?

I was angry at him and also kind of relieved that he decided to come in front of me.

Like usual, he was looking dangerously handsome in his signature white shirt, rolled up to his elbows and his black slacks with his hairs in messy waves of black.

His eyes roamed over the place as they finally settled on me. Something strange happened, my breath hitched. The intensity of his gaze made me cower somewhere, but I looked back at him. He seemed changed, he was looking dangerous.

I needed to talk to him if I wanted my heart at ease. With this I guessed away the nervousness and was about to call him when the atmosphere become thick.

"Luc-"

"It's too cold in here." I was about to call him when a soft feminine voice interrupted me. I craned my neck sideways when a figure of woman came into view. My eyes slowly took her form as I admired how beautiful she was with her fiery red hairs, twisted in strikingly beautiful updo, matching her blood red dress.

Who was she?

I turned towards Lucifer in confusion when he averted his eyes me. Heart squeezed painfully. Was he ignoring me?

"Your chamber is heated, my lady." The maid, who was head, said blowing her head down.

"It should be or you know what I can do to your filthy excuse of life." She scoffed rolling her eyes. And let me tell you, whoever this woman was, I was already starting to hate her.

"Zahara." Lucifer said looking at her, an underlying warning hidden in his words but she seemed to oblivious or she was trying to act like that.

So, she was Zahara.

Zahara's eyes quickly darted towards Lucifer as she walked towards him with criss-cross movement and batted her lashes at him.

"I was just making sure if everything was alright." She said awfully sweetly, completely opposite to how she talked to maid.

Lucifer didn't reacted, instead motioned to guard standing near them. He said something in his ear as guard rushed towards left.

Zahara looked around as she spun on her heels and made an dramatic wow.

"It's so beautiful. Did you do that for meee?" She said joining her hands and looked innocently at Lucifer who just nodded his head. Though, he didn't said anything but my heart again squeezed.

Who was she to him?

"Thankyou!" She beamed with excitement and I looked dumfounded as she immediately jumped in his arms and circled her arms around his neck. She was tall, taller than me but with Lucifer's intimidating height, she was reaching his nose.

I stood there, shocked and hurt.

And my pain intensified as he wrapped his arms around her waist and patted her back lovingly.

Without realizing, I gasped and almost stumbled as the vase next to me shattered on porcelain marble floor, but it wasn't my worry. He was hugging some other woman!

So what? Its not like you are anything to him!

A voice yelled in back of my mind. And unshed tears formed in my eyes.

"Do you even realize how much expensive this shit is!" I jumped when I heard Zahara's poisonous voice. I looked at her with pain and confusion in my eyes when I saw shattered pieces of glass vase puddled around my feet.

"I-I-" I didn't knew what I was about to say cause next thing I knew she was storming towards me.

"Zahara." Lucifer said, stopping her dead in her track as she immediately spun around and gave him a wide smile.

"I won't do anything you her, Luc. I just want you teach her a lesson." She said looking at me bitterly. My blured eyes darted to Lucifer who was staring at me.

"No need of that." Lucifer said. And my breathing shortened.

I can burn this whole world up with what I feel for you.

No! No! No!

"Who is she by the way? I can almost smell her overly disgusting humanely stench." She said gritting her teeth as her fists balled at her sides.

"She's is...nobody." That was it. My damn dam broke and I lost it. My tears welled up I side my eyes and I did what I was good at.

I ran towards the stairs, not bothering to look back.

After all, I was nobody to him.

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