They say, 'Life is like a book; there are sad chapters and joyous parts.' So, don't get too caught up in the sad bits and move on to the good stuff.' Because I've never seen any cheerful chapters in life's book, I've always thought of it as a joke. I've tried and attempted to skip through the depressing chapters, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm not moaning about the lack of cheerful chapters; once the sorrow begins, it never ends.
After a long period, I've returned to my childhood. I rented a hotel next to where my memories had started as a kid, no matter how crappy the rooms were. I was always busy as an adult nevertheless I was absolutely happy when I got a call from my boss stating I will be working in Saudi Arabia. I chose a room with a view of the main road, which is where I used to ride my bike with my buddies. I recalled the time one of my friends Salih got bruised by a car accident while playing tag with everyone's bike. I went down to reminisce the feeling I had with my first friends.
I walked around the supermarket outside which I'd wait for my school bus to arrive and recalled the one hilarious attempt to shoplift a large chocolate bar that I wanted when I was a kid. I grinned as I walked out of the store without purchasing anything, but this time I had successfully stolen the enormous chocolate bar. I walked around the circular pathway and the first time I made a friend in my whole life, Darsh, came back to me. I also recollected the time when we saw a replica of a rainbow made by light refracted through a glass window, which was the first time I had actually snuck into a restricted area. As a kid, I was innocent but troublesome.
I once again lapped around the circular pathway of memories, hoping to meet at least one familiar face. Only after a couple more laps, I realize everybody has moved on, except me. Everyone else has a life outside of memories, except me. Everyone has found that someone special, except me, and I have to accept the fact that they won't show up as quickly as that.
I was taken aback realizing that I wouldn't be able to receive all I require anymore. I rushed back to my hotel room and went into the shower. I was sad, but I didn't cry. It had been quite a while since I shed a tear or two even though many of my acquaintances say "You're not supposed to hold onto that".
I turned on the shower with a gloomy mind. Maybe the shower was damaged, but it seemed like it was weeping in my place. The water would slow down and just huff out after a moment as if trying to gasp for breath. It always feels like I'm a star in a story or a hero in a movie, like props rigged by the filmmaker, the atmosphere around me feels what I feel.
Once the shower came, I washed away all the unhappy thoughts I had. I wore one towel around my waist and used another to dry my hair and as I went out to my room and looked out the window all the suppressed memories rushed back in. My mind appeared to be ripping itself open, as it got hit by something rigid. When you don't have anything left, memories are the only thing that remains. A tear forced itself out from my eyes, feeling as free as an escaped prisoner.
I didn't let any more of the prisoners of the eye escape. I just messaged my boss for a transfer. This position came as a result of a friend returning a favor. I once stood by a guy, Jeff, who was neglected by others at work. Jeff eventually couldn't take it and he left the place and he mentioned that he was gonna start something new from the end-of-service cash.
After about a year, I received a phone call from Jeff. He wanted me to join his newly established but really successful company as a senior business intelligence analyst and it required me to travel a lot. Because I recently resigned from my job and it paid well, and a friend owns it, I decided to pursue it. I and Jeff were really close, ironic to the typical employer-employee relationship.
By evening, Jeff acknowledged my concern and he let me transfer to Kyoto and promoted me to an easier position that didn't require much traveling. I was relieved. I started packing my suitcase and as soon as I'd made sure that all of my stuff was packed, I went down to the reception to check out.
I was still upset about the fact that I was blaming myself for everything and for being stuck in the past. I had that hole in my heart for not having, at least, a glance at someone from the past. I left the hotel and was on the way towards the car, I received a compliment from Jeff when I reached here. I had much time before I needed to get to the airport before my flight.
I went on to take a couple more laps around the neighborhood, one final time. I went around once and then again, and again and I finally came to my senses losing all hope. "What am I even trying to achieve like this?" I was heading back to the hotel front yard to get back to my car.
"Hey, Ryan!" I heard from behind me. As I turned around, my eyes slowly let loose of all the hostages. Salih was about to get into his car when he noticed me. He was accompanied by a pretty girl and two boys peeking out of the car window, wondering who the stranger their father was talking to. I talked and talked till I realized I was almost late for my flight. I wiped out my tears of joy, and bid farewell. The universe is full of surprises and I got a new light in my life, a new hope, a new happy chapter. I felt a small portion of my empty heart filled.
I know there are tons of surprises waiting ahead of me. And it does not end here, I know it.