Lucas and Louisa

Hey, Lucas. I still clearly remember.

Three years ago, I was standing here at the exact same place. Do you know what is the different? You. Unlike three years ago, there is no 'you' in here. It is only me who is standing here. I am here, Lucas, holding a cup of coffee that we used to love. A cup of coffee that I thought would be taste as sweet as our future. But who are we to predict our future? We are only human, an ordinary human with no power to guess our own future.

Hey, Lucas. I still clearly remember.

Three years ago, I was watching you laughing on the other side of the table. Your smiley eyes were so addictive, and I do not want to forget to mention your crunchy laugh. Until this moment, I could recall back that moment. We were talking about anything, from A to Z. We used to love the small park on the corner. We always say that park is a lonely park and we would not ended up like that. You held my hand and smile, as you whispered,

'We will always be like this. I promise you..'

But who are we to predict our future? Once again, we are only human, an ordinary human. A powerless human, if I may say it.

Hey, Lucas. I still clearly remember.

Three years ago, we were walking down to the street and decided on one small bookshop in the street. I told you, 'It will be our bookshop!'. You were laughing as you nodded your head as an approval. We used to love that small bookshop. I told you I was in love with the smell of the books and you told me you were in love with the book collection in the bookstore. I told you I was in love with the shopkeeper sweet smile, and you told me you were starring at one girl in the bookstore (Do you remember I punched you right after that?). I told you I was always hungry each time I went to the bookstore and you told me you were thinking of a cup of coffee each time you were in the bookstore. Just because of the idea of going to bookstore goes well with cup of coffee.

Hey, Lucas. I still clearly remember.

Three years ago, we went to our small getaway trip together for welcoming the summer. I told you I did not know what to bring and you told me I looked good on my summer dress. I insisted to bring sunblock and you argued that it was not necessary to put sunblock; you said you want to be tan during holiday while I disliked your summer-thing idea. You insisted to try beer from the local shop and I argued it was not necessary to drink beer or trying local beer in the summer. I insisted to sleep the whole day in the hotel and you argued it was such a waste to spend time only in the hotel.

Lucas, I never knew that there were lots of differences in our similarity.

You and me are different, yet we are the same.

Last year, we were slowly drifted apart. It feels like you went to the right side while I went to the left side. But both of us kept on insisting that we are in the same path. But, we are not. You told me family is the most important thing for you, you want us to get married and build our little family. I told you it is not what I want right now, I told you I want to focus with my career that I just started. You told me career could wait, but a family could not wait. I told you the opposite. You told me, to build a family with me is your dream but I crushed it by choosing career over him. I told him it was not like that. I asked why are you being so egoistic. You looked at me in the eyes and those words were finally out from you,

'I think, we need some time to be alone. To think whether we are going to the same direction or we should walk by ourselves.'

We looked at each other. Silence was there, waiting for us. But seems like none of us want to say anything. We were starring at our coffee in silence. This coffee could never be taste as sweet as three years ago. Instead, it is taste bitterer or even plain. Just like us. Just like our relationship.

I dislike the term of saying goodbye, since it means that we would never see each other again. But again, I also dislike the term of saying 'see you again', since it means that I do not know when will we see each other again. At the end of the day, it is the idea of parting with someone that I do not fancy.

The coffee shop that we used to love is still in the same location. It still looks the same like three years ago. When you open the door, it will still greet you with the sound of a woman saying 'welcome!'. The interior inside is still the same. The choices of the songs are still the same, a kind of old songs with a little bit taste of jazzy feeling. The corner that we used to love while doing our work is still there. As usual, there are not so much people here. As I walked in to the coffee shop, one familiar face greeted me.

'Hi! You are back! How are you, Miss?'

I was surprised she could recognize me. I mean it was one year ago since my last visit here. Since we left in the silence, I never come and visit this coffee shop again. It became a part of the memories that I want to forget. Without I even realized it, I always tend to get myself away from this coffee shop. It is just that, there was too much of you and us. I couldn't bare myself. Sounds so pathetic.

I smiled at her as I nodded.

'Hi', I said. 'Umm yeah I'm fine, thanks. How about you?'.

Indeed it was a basic and not-to-mention, a little bit awkward conversation.

'I'm fine, thank you! So, would you like to have a cup of Americano like usual?'.

I nodded. 'Yes, please. Thank you very much.'

I looked back as I want to search a place to sit.

'I would be sitting in that corner.' I pointed our place and she nodded.