NOT ME

I didn't know what time it was or where I was- all I knew was that my mate would be at the end of the line I was chasing.

I'd long passed the border, instinct taking me further than thoughts. I'd waited patiently for my family to fall asleep from their movie marathon and immediately took off once they'd all conched out.

It was too late to go to Aunt Katty and my strength was dwindling with each passing moment. I needed my mate. I was desperate enough to risk getting caught at the border. I was desperate enough to risk everything.

The skies were dark and the woodlands unfamiliar. My heart pumped harder and faster with exhaustion lying alongside anxiety. I didn't know what rested beyond these lands and I didn't want to know.

I just wanted him.

Howling brings my feet to a standstill as my ears perk up, making my body automatically stiffen in alert. I stand perfectly still and listen to the howling that was soon mirrored by several wolves to fill the night.

My labored breaths pump out of me and join the chilled atmosphere. I look around my surroundings, spinning like a kid left unchained. At times like this, I wished I had a wolf- someone to calm me down, knowing exactly what to say because they felt it to. The fear. The dread.

They'd know just what to say to keep me from being distracted by the numerous wolves that were heading in my direction. They'd take control and keep us safe. They'd tell me everything would be okay, and it would be.

Caspar usually filled that role, but Caspar was angry. He was angry at himself for 'letting' me get hurt but he didn't need to be- it was my fault, not his.

But it didn't matter now. At least four wolves were heading my way and I couldn't move. If I turned around, I was turning my back on my mate; if I ran towards them, it was like running into a fire.

So what could I do?

Too long. I took too long to decide because before I knew it, a small pack of wolves ran out of the cluster of trees that rested before me.

I counted four as they circled me. Their stench alongside their red eyes indicated clearly what they were.

Rogues.

I shift instantly, forcing myself to bury the pain it caused as I stood on all fours. I release a animalistic sound that matched a roar more than a howl. I was scared shitless but they didn't know that, and if I held my ground they wouldn't try anything stupid.

They advanced slowly, taking small steps towards me. Their snarls were the clearest indication that they weren't going to back down.

I release a nasty growl of my own, that along with my red eyes doing little to nothing of scaring them. I may have alpha blood, but to rogues it didn't matter your rank. A wolf was a wolf and that meant one had to die.

The nearest pounced towards me but his teeth never make contact as his stomach is caught in the large jaws of an all too familiar black wolf.

Relief was an understatement to say the least. Every previous worry that harboured within me completely disappeared as I looked up at my mate.

He tightened his jaw into the now whining rogue, clasping his teeth together before ripping it away. Blood spreads from the huge gash created in the wolf before it drops to the floor with a pained cry. J drops the chunk of the rogue he'd bitten out before glancing at me.

My heart drops at the savaged gaze he sends my way, a cold unfamiliar expression casted at me. As if I wasn't anyone to him, not even his mate.

I strip my gaze away from his as he turns to face the other rogues, redirecting the murderous glare their way.

Like cowards, they take off into the woods but J immediately chases after them. He disappears into the darkness but I wasn't worried. I was completely calm. I knew he'd come back to me and that he'd be safe.

I look to the bleeding out rogue and take a few cautious steps back, the sight nauseating to me as the smell of him was pungent. I make my way far enough from the rogue that I couldn't smell it as much, but close enough that J could still find me.

I couldn't shift back.

The adrenaline bolting through me keeping me in my strongest form instead of the one I felt safest in.

I hear J's heavy steps first and see him after. His jaws were dripping with blood that wasn't his own, and his eyes blazing with a fiery hatred.

Against my better judgement, I ignore it all and quickly run to him. My body meets his but he shoves me back aggressively, snapping his jaws warily at me.

I step back in confusion as he begins to circle me like prey, his gaze unwavering and strong.

Did he not know it was me?

He was looking at me with an unfamiliarity that could be the only excuse for his aggression. But he must've felt something of the sort that he usually did with me, or else he wouldn't have saved me, and probably would've attacked me by now too.

J - I call in my mind. I knew it was an unwarranted attempt, seeing as links were only shared between the mated and pack members.

But I tried nevertheless; it was the only option seeing that my body refused to shift.

It's me, Feli … Felicia - He shakes his head with a growl as he looks around wildly as if searching for someone. As if searching for me, the me he knew.

I step towards him slowly and his eyes immediately snap to my paw, I stand still for a moment with a raging chest before stepping forth again. A low growl rumbles from deep within but I ignore it as I continue moving towards him, not stopping until my fur touched his.

My body was stiff in fear of him snapping at me, but I needed to feel him, his warmth. I'd waited long enough to be this close to him again and wouldn't stop now because he didn't recognise me.

My body sags against him in relief as his fur brushes against mine. I rub myself against him and he reluctantly does the same. We nozzle one another affectionately before rubbing our heads against our necks. I whine silently as I push against him a little, wanting more warmth and love than what was coming to me.

Finally my body cooperates and I shift before him. If his eyes could pop, they probably would have. He stares at me completely bewildered as he finally connects all the dots in his head.

"It's me." I whisper circling my arms around his large wolf head. "Now shift baby, I've missed you."

He shifts and I'm immediately pulled into his arms. I sigh contentedly as I wrap my arms around him tightly, standing on my toes to reach his neck. He rubs his nose against the dip in my neck making me shiver against him as a jolt of energy shoots through me.

"Mhmm." I moan against him as his hands search my body. They move quickly and roughly, gripping parts of me in claim as he began to lick at my neck slightly. "J- J." I stutter as he begins to nibble at my skin, the feeling of his teeth setting fireworks off inside of me.

"F*ck." I moan, gripping onto his shoulders desperately when his hands found my *ss. He seemed to like it there cause his hands didn't stop squeezing me as he pulled my body into his. I whimper pathetically when I feel his hardened c*ck as he rocks it up and down against me. Forcing my clothed one to feel him entirely as he pushed us together, using his arms to keep me close.

"N-Not now." I try pulling back but he bites down on my neck in opposition. My nails dig into his back as I suck in all the available air. It may not have been a mark but it might as well have been with the fire it lit inside of me.

He pulls back once he's content, his dark globes finally meeting my own. His eyes search my heated ones before he leans forward, his lips meet my cheek and kisses it lightly. Pulling back, he stares at my surprised face before showing me that big, toothy grin I still didn't realise I loved so much.

Elated.

That was the only word I could use to describe how happy he made me so effortlessly.

"I know you don't understand, but I love you so much already." I whisper as I hold his gaze, my eyes filling with unshed tears. "So please don't leave. Don't leave me."

He smile wavers when he catches sight of my teary eyes and quickly begins to litter my face with mindless kisses before pulling me in a tight hug.

Thank you Goddess for a mate like mine.