SLEEPOVER IS CODE

I scrolled down from the the search bar of my laptop for before clicking on the images tab. Hundreds of pictures of dirtied, small children pop up, consuming my entire screen. I click one, and then the next, and then another.

Their clothes were sparse or non-existent, faces and frames mudded. They walked on all fours and were almost always photographed in the woods. Those were the main factors that linked all the images that popped up. They were also all the factors that applied to J.

Is this what J was?

It was the best thing I could find to make sense of his situation.

But my mate wasn't a child; he was a grown man. I knew that. I did.

But after spending an entire night trying to find an explanation for his lack of language skills and common abilities, like walking, a feral child was about all I could come up with.

It was the only thing that made sense. Though it just added a million more problems of an already problematic equation.

How did you become one?

What kind of pack abandoned him as a pup?

How old was he when it happened?

I sigh as I close my laptop and slide down my bed. Intertwining my fingers over my chest, I stare at the ceiling with a buzzing mind.

My ears twitch slightly from the sound of faint laughter that echoed throughout the house. Tonight was movie night and despite my family's insistant begging, I couldn't bring myself to join them.

I should tell them-

Tell them I found my mate, and that he was everything I wanted in a mate and more.

Tell them that he wasn't like what we had believed him to be. He wasn't a beast. He wasn't a wild animal. He didn't attack senselessly. He was just a little lost and confused, and had been for a long time.

Tell them that he was mine and that I didn't care if they hated it. I would never leave him.

But none of that would matter.

In their eyes, he'd still be a rogue.

Best case scenario: my parents would be happy that I found my mate and only a little ticked that it was the thing they hated the most. But they'd try to accept it, because they love me.

They'd want to see him one day and I'd introduce them to J. Dad would try, and fail, to be cool but would eventually go all Alpha. Julian would hold him back and I'd hold back J. And somehow, we'd make it out alive.

Worst case … and most probable scenario:

My dads would be ecstatic that I finally found my mate. They'd be thrilled and cheering and they'd tell the entire pack. Then they'd find out what he was. Julian would be reasonable, Po- not so much. Our relationship would change. Po'd tell me my mate is a rogue and he hated rogues. And even if I somehow managed to keep him from attacking my mate, the pack would. And we'd never have a moment of peace.

So when I weighed out my options, there was only one real solution- keep my mate away from the pack until I came up with a better solution.

My phone beeps on my nightstand and I lazily stretch my arm across to grab it. I smile slightly at the name that pops up on my screen accompanied by a quivering phone requesting permission for a call.

"Hey Sam." I answer bringing the device to my ear.

"Hey Wolfie." She replied with a tone so cheerful my chest lightens slightly. "How you holding up?"

Sam knew about my mate the same day I'd woken up in the healing centre. She was the first person I told. My ears still rung a little from the scream that blasted through my phone that day.

"I'm fine." I say but even I could hear the underlying bullshit in that reply.

"You're not." She replied sympathetically. "Have you seen him since the last time?"

"No." I whisper. The pain that resurfaced at the mention of my mate was almost unbearable. I struggled to stiffle my whimper as my insides twisted with want and need. It'd been only two days but it felt like an eternity.

Each day was harder to get through than the last. I needed him more than I needed to breathe … I was dying without him.

"Feli …" She whispers. I shut my eyes tightly as I try to drown out the agonizing way every fibre in me cried for my other half. "Why don't you come over for a sleepover."

I frown at this in confusion. Sam knew I was in no condition to leave my room, let alone go to her house.

I had somehow managed to hide the tole being separated from my mate had on my body from my parents, but I was still bedridden for the most part.

"You're actually an idiot." She sighs when silence hangs between us. I open my mouth to reply but she hangs up before I can get a word out. My frown only deepens but I don't have a chance to curse her in my head as my phone instantly buzzes again.

Sam: You're so stupid. Sleepover is code for GO SEE YOUR MATE. Tell the parentals you're coming over at me and let Petrova zap you to your mate instead.

Sam, believe it or not, had a pretty good relationship with Aunt Katty. She believed she was some character from Vampire Diaries reincarnated as a witch and called her Petrova as a result.

Me: It's night time. I've only seen him during the day.

Sam: You're point is … …

I knew she was right, but there was still a light feeling of fear that was admittedly threading it's way through my system. I knew it was because a piece of me still associated my mate with the thing my pack hated for years; the past has practically infected the rest of my being with fear.

I shake my head before I quickly type back a response.

Me: I will. Thank you for this Sam

Sam: What have I told you about red hearts …

I chuckle to myself before throwing my phone on my bed and sliding off. I stumble forth a little but catch my bedpost in time before my face could hit the floor. I take a couple quick breaths before trying again, a lot slower.

My body felt three hundred pounds heavier as I walked forward. It was as if someone dropped a boulder on my back and left it there. I hated the feeling, but i needed to see my mate, and that thought was enough to scrape up what little energy my body still possessed.

For the first time in almost four days, newfound energy radiated throughout me. A firm will boosted my moral as I went down the stairs with a small skip in my step.

I was going to see my mate.

"Feli!" Hagen says with a voice so surprised that an intense feeling of guilt shot through my heart.

I'd walked into the family room to tell them I was heading out, but was immediately bombarded with sadness instead when my eyes found those of my family looking up at me hopefully.

"We're about to watch Zootopia, want to join?" Josey offers with the kindest smile she could muster.

"I …" I start but never finish, my heart sinking as I glance around the room. "I- I was. …"

My parents both had this look on their faces: concern, fear, worry, pain … just about all were present as they watched me with gentle smiles. Damon was already clearing a space beside him on his favourite couch, which he never let anyone even glance at, and Peter was fixing me the huge, blue blanket littered with anchors that I loved ever since we were kids.

" … I'd love to." I say mustering up the smile they'd so often fallen for. They smile back and I force mine to stay on.

I fall onto the space beside Damon, taking the blanket from Peter with a thanks before letting myself sink into the sofa.

With a deflating mood, I keep my eyes on the screen and let my mind wander to the feel of my mate's skin and his beautiful smile I so desperately yearned to see once more.