Unwanted uneasiness

Today's lecture was tedious it was like watching the paint dry, nonetheless, the new teachers are trying to get used to the atmosphere well it wouldn't be that easy for them.

How unfortunate for them, our batch is full of stubborn and petulant students, anyway our new biology teacher seems a bit alluring I couldn't help it, I was sighing at her nonstop during the class but she doesn't stand a chance in front of the woman I love or I used to love kind of.

How can I forget that hazel eyes for the first time in my accursed life everything was going miraculously, my life has been full of unforeseen events, yet I remember that heart-fluttering sensation when I was with her, I recall my fluttering heart, quivering hands and trembling legs the feeling was too vivid to put into words but eventually we broke up, it has been 6 months ever since we never called or try text each other.

She was my first first love.

Now I've aroused this particular memory that I have trying to forget for heaven's sake how long, In my mind I visualise her face and now, I'm finding it difficult to sleep the memory of her haunts me down, I miss her, all of her deep down I know she used me perhaps she has her reasons.

Under no circumstance, a fraction of mine will believe that she was willing to hurt me just to make herself feel better... I hug my pillow the air around me filled with melancholy my thoughts plague me from inside out eventually I fall into a dreadful sleep.

Every end of every day makes me more anxious about the next day, I fear the most that I may intentionally or unintentionally repeat the same mistake, I feel like captured in an endless cycle of my thoughts that I'm trying to escape from an exceedingly long time, Dear God give me some direction...

"Wake up brat, it's 9 already how long would you intend to sleep?" he groans in frustration.

"Hmm, just a min" here he goes like always.

"You have no right to be so aboveboard, whatever I do doesn't concern you," I gasp, appalled.

"Since I'm your elder brother, I believe it does, now make your ass move or I'll make", he's so bossy.

He is so principled sometimes he reminds me of our father, perhaps I'm more like my mother that's why he always pick a quarrel with me?

"Well that's beyond ridiculous isn't it", I mutter.

"What's so ridiculous", he asks with an enigmatic grin on his face.

"Forget about it", I reply quickly.

"Your breakfast is on the table don't make it wait, we got a lot of stuff to manage today."

"Like what?"

"First of all, we will be straightening up the mess that you have built so far" he muttered.

"Would you care to elaborate we?" I chuckle.

"Huh forget it, I'll do it myself but you better should take care of your stuff, now you're a grown man don't act like a child better take care of your things, nobody will be there forever for you," he murmurs arrogantly.

"I know you don't have to remind me of that all the time," I have to since you don't have overwhelming memory like me.

My brother means the world to me he knows me very well as nobody does, he is my greatest ally he encourages me in everything no matter whatever I do he has always been there for me.

"Is it showering outside holy cow, it looks like god ruined are all proposals what should we do now," I whisper in horror.

"Nothing you idiot even God wants us to stay home today, let's do nothing and follow the direction that he has been giving us."