Chapter 82

　　Jake makes an odd noise; I think it’s a grunt, a snort, maybe a moan. I don’t know, but it’s not a good noise; it’s a reaction to what I have said, and I talk fast to cover it.

　　“I mean, I don’t remember the physical pain; you should forget it too,” I say it so matter-of-factly, yet softly, trying to fix the point I was making. It makes me sick, in reality, and tears sting my eyes despite my shrugging it off.

　　“How can I forget it?” He looks at me as though I have two heads, and it pushes me into feeling overly sensitive and defensively emotional. Anytime we broach this subject, we fight. I don’t want that right now. I can’t handle this tonight.

　　“Same way I do,” I respond, “Push it out of your head. Ignore it. Lock it away deep down and don’t talk about what he did to me.” I try for a shrug but at this angle it’s more of a squirm, because it is upsetting me on some level.