Twelve: Not What it Looks Like

Bianca had gone back to spend the night at her place while it was still hers. There was more packing to be done and she'd honestly just missed the feeling of being all alone in the house, in the room. To not have to live like Jojo Siwa when she was still in her ponytail with the bow era. That was so not her style. But someone has to be a role model under that roof. Trixxy didn't need Bianca to do all that, she was a good kid but Bianca was her mother and would always do her part whether or not Trixxy thought it was appropriate or not.

She turned up her music and connected it to the bluetooth speaker, glad to find that it was fully charged. She wanted to have a little party for herself. Try on her furs and and heels and embody a different character each time testing them out on the full length mirror that was drilled in the inside of her closet. It was during this boxing of her stuff that she actually came across a cheap bottle of wine. She didn't care at the moment about it's prize, it would look fancy in a champagne flute and most importantly take her where she needed to go. She couldn't remember the last time she'd let loose and just flown with the currents of life .

She'd shut down all the parts of her she felt she wasn't allowed to have anymore now that she was a mother and for just that one night she would let it out. she would have a one girl party, even though she was spiralling, she could control certain aspects of her life. Taking Trixxy to Elmer was the smartest idea ever. She'd have the best time of her life,get to connect with her diva inside and blast the walls off.

As one would expect a one man party to be at first, it was weird. She was still holding back like she was being watched. She hadn't fully let go of the feeling she had had just a few hours earlier of being scrutinized on a panel of directors who were looking for reasons to not cast her instead of it being the other way round. All her life people had stared at her in that way.Like she was too perfect, like if you just moved close enough you'd be able to see that she was just holding it well together and that was all there was to it. Right now one wouldn't have to look that close. If she were in space one could easily even without a telescope what a hot mess she'd become, and she drunk to that, clanking her glass against the mirror softly before downing the drink.

She let the moment take her over, allowing her to feel all kinds of things. To be vulnerable, to be authentic, to basically be all of those things she didn't need money to keep up with, to be sexy. She tried a few moves she'd been watching earlier when she came back from Elmer's. She wasn't so bad. It had been long since she'd allowed herself to see herself that way. And that would be because the first time she chose to explore herself sexually, her life took a swerve to the left that ended in her packing up her little shitty apartment and having wine by herself and drinking with her reflection.

But with each full glass she got less critical and less logical. And she could do a better job. Even as her head started spinning and the fur covering the entire bedroom floor caught on he heels, she stayed up, feeling the fire inside her, which would be an essential part of her job as a stripper lighting up again.

She was getting bolder and bolder. Maybe even too bold. It was her one night alone after all, who knew when else she would get any of those again. So she decided screw it, she would try to prolong her time alone as much as she could. Her two weeks would be up in just a few days and if she could get just one more week for her to be by herself and forget about the world for just that period of time she would definitely do it. She had not realized what a burden she'd been carrying.

" You know what's funny??" she squinted at her reflection which was all wobbly from the wine starting to kick in yet somehow the option to remove the six inch strap heels from her feet didn't occur to her. " When people go for vacation, their homes.They go to the coolest places and do fun stuff. "

Then she took steps closer to her reflection, if she could enter the mirror she would and just hug her image, have her be original with her responses and actions so she didn't copy her that would be great. But she was working with what she had. " This is my vacation! Look, we're having fun aren't we? This is better than all those vacations" Even her half drunk self didn't believe what she was saying but there wasn't anyone to disagree.

" You're right, we should go get out there, meet someone,get real twisted...Jayme couldn't possibly resist that ass. " she turned her backside to the mirror and twerked, the mere movement of her own butt suddenly a very ridiculous thing to watch. She was having a good time. She'd think back to this day and wish she had just been at Elmer's instead.

One thing led to another and next thing, Jayme, the landlord of Bianca's then apartment had stopped cooking thinking getting the door would only take a minute. But boy was he up for a ride. Bianca spiled into the room, unsteady and reeking of wine. She was also pretty loud and was ruining the whole mood that he was trying to set up. He and his partner were going to have a one of those romantic nights the second he got home. So to deal with Bianca was a major inconvenience. He could barely take her sober and the drunk version of her would be ten times the trouble.

" I'll call Elmer." Jayme, concerned reached for his phone in his pocket but Bianca grabbed his hand before it would reach the pocket of his white washed jeans. Not ready for whatever this would turn into, he froze.

" Why are you bringing her into this? This is our little secret...is going to be our little secret. " Then she guided his skinny arm to her waist and when it stayed there, limp and immobile she pushed it lower to her ass. He sprung out when she tried to kiss him.

" Don't do that! What is going on here!" Jayme erupted, grabbing a laughing Bianca by both of her shoulders. She wore two different types of heels and had layered two fur coats on top of each other. At the top of her head was a sun hat, completely extra and completely out of Place that she kept tagging at and fitting into her hair, clearly something was off with her.

" Oh don't be so modest. I know you have been wanting this the whole time! Am here now so go on..." she spread her arms apart and collapsed into Jayme, who caught her by the waist and tried to guide her to the dining area. No way she was going on his precious couches. He wasn't going to clean puke off them three days into buying them, but her surprisingly strong limbs pushed him away.

" That's not how you handle a lady!"

" I have no interest of knowing what that's supposed to be like..."

" Liar!" she yelled, fanning her stench of wine on his face.Just like that he took a mental note to remove wine from the equation of the diner he was supposed to be preparing and not dealing with a drink soon to be former tenant who really wouldn't stop brushing up against his body, violating his personal space in ways that had never happened before. " I've seen you looking. Everyone looks..check out my ass!" she turned around and popped her ass right into his groin, when he jumped back she started to get annoyed.

" I'm going to call Elmer. Please just sit down. Please. "

" Is it because am poor now? You don't like homeless girls? Or is it the jobless ones? That's okay, there's one job I'm good at. " then she winked not realizing how cringey she was being. " Just let me sleep with you and don't throw my stuff out for a week. Maybe even a month..."

" Ms Matthews, I'm a professional. I don't sleep with my clients, I don't even like..." he couldn't finish. In his defense it's hard to talk when someone has their mouth stuffed into yours anyway. His body froze, unable to react appropriately for the situation. He didn't have much time to do so because the door flung open and a man in a suit and a briefcase stared in absolute horror at the scene before his eyes.

" Ben! it's not what it looks like" he pushed Bianca off her, letting her land on his couch and running after his partner. " I need you out of that apartment by tomorrow midday." he hissed before he slammed the door behind him. A sad reality hit her, despite what she thought, she didn't have enough sex appeal to monetize, not when drunk and certainly not when sober.