Lost again.

The night was a short one because we needed to conserve energy. After dinner, the three of us slept next to the flame.

In the end, we decided that no one needed to guard. If something bad happened, Vivi's insane reflexes would react quicker than a wide-awake person would. Granted, monsters approaching us with the aura Vivi was exuding would be an abnormality of its own.

And say something like that did happen, then being wide awake wouldn't save us either.

Anyways, tonight was just a normal night, just outdoors. If there was anything worthwhile of difference, it was the fact that instead of squashing me, Vivi was busy squashing Anino with her bad sleeping habits.

{2 days before the breakdown.}

I had a good night's sleep.

A sleep only disturbed by my heart jumping around. For the first time this week, things were going right. At this rate, it wasn't too long before I reunited with my family. I was longing and I was nostalgic.

Homesick.

"Good morning." The first one to greet me was Anino. Three skewers were set over on the fire. "I sorted our food and made breakfast. You had quite a lot in the bag. How far away is your town?"

Well, we did pack 5 days worth.

"It's 2 days away." 2 and a half to be exact.

"Great! I guess I rationed accurately then." Anino was wearing a strong smile on her face. But it was a little too fake. "Ah, I tried waking Miss Vivi up but she didn't wake up."

"Understandable. She only reacts to danger when she's asleep. If you want to wake her up, do this-"

I got up, drew my leg back for a full-on kick and shot it right at her face. I couldn't hold back, because if I did, she wouldn't register it as a big enough threat and probably just knock me away while sleeping. But just as my foot was inches away, her hand grabbed it and she shot back up-

"I'm awake! What happened?!"

"See?" I pulled my hand away from her grip.

"Unnhnn."

After that, we had breakfast and got ourselves ready for another day. Everyone but me tried to lighten the mood somewhat but the interactions were still very tense.

By the time the other two stopped trying to make small talk, we were walking down the main road that led back to our town.

My senses were keen on picking up any monsters in our vicinity, and while there were a few, even though Vivi did a good job of keeping them at bay. I had no idea how she did it, but I could feel a small aura around her.

But that only acted on animals and monsters seemingly. I could still pick up a human or two. It was a busy route after all.

"Can I ask why you are part of his journey?" The question was directed at Vivi. I was curious too.

"His journey is just temporary. Just a means to an end." She shrugged. "But do you wanna know why I'm out adventuring?" Vivi added to the conversation.

"Yes."

"Well, for two reasons. First of all, I want to experience what a normal life is like." Probably the bucket list she was talking about back at the inn. "After that, I want to take care of someone."

"Eh? Take care of? Do you have a sick person in your family?" Anino put her hand on her mouth.

"That's not what I meant by taking care of. Anyways! What about you? Why did you decide to trust this guy after he admitted to being a criminal?" Vivi jabbed right at me.

"I'm right here. And I'm not a criminal. Just got put under some false accusations." If anything I was the victim.

"I mean you did kill those guys in the alleyway." Another jab.

"Alleyway?" Anino's hand left her face.

"Shit. I said nothing." Vivi hurried up next to me as we continued to walk.

'This idiot.'

"Mister Iota… Did you perhaps… kill those people?"

'Tsk. How do I answer this?' Anything I say now would only make her feel more guilty. Which is terrible. She was as much of a victim as I was a week ago.

"I politely asked them to leave you alone but they came at me first. It was just self-defence."

"I'm sorry." She said dejectedly. I mean, killing them did bring me inconvenience.

"It's fine." I accepted her apology. That was probably the best I could do for her.

We continued walking down the long road.

This entire situation was bizarre.

If you were to ask the past me how I saw myself 2 weeks down the road, I would have had a hunch. But that hunch would have been sunshine and rainbows.

What I went through- from getting cheated on, to getting thrown to death, to getting chased by a moose, to getting my body altered, to meeting Vivi, and then saving Anino- Were all things I wanted to forget.

But at this point, they had undeniably become a part of me. I wasn't proud of any of them. Every action I did only pushed me to my limit. Even when I helped others I harmed myself. I disregarded my mind and body at every point, and at this point, my entire being was exhausted.

I wanted to fix myself- no I've been pretending to remain strong throughout all this. But for some reason, everything just wasn't fitting in. What I wanted to portray myself as was the complete opposite of my disposition.

As if I had the human ability of control. Empathising with others and not being able to display that. I was building the tension up like a bomb in my head. I could blow up at any given moment.

It's not like I want to be rude to Anino and Vivi. My nature until now was accommodating and respecting everyone, and core values like that don't just change over a day. I wasn't putting on a show either. But for some reason, I despised the thought of anyone getting close to me.

Despite my denial, this was all self-preservation.

Even on this one-way path, I was lost.

But I was only so far away from being found.