Chapter Eighteen

LEFT APART

Sitting lonely and in total silence

Thinking of my previous self

One that laughed with a genuine smile

One who loved from deep down the heart

With a thought of never letting go

One who loved whoever smiled at me

Hoping that they are true friends

To whom I can marvel the world with

Ones to laugh and smile with

Making joy our real company

But it was all a dream never come true,

For they smiled and really laughed

Yet this was not what they thought

Their smiles were of mockery

Ones filled with envy and jealousy

With thoughts of seeing me fall

Into the enormous yet an endless abyss

And this made them laugh with delight

As though laughing over our chat

But it was far different

For they laughed only for their thoughts

That had to leave me to the grasses

As it was what they saw then

Oh! The lonely me

For I pity my old self.

With the passage of time

When my heart learnt to love

Leaving my cells in shudder

For they always followed my eyes

That always sighted pure glamour

One that would never fail the eyes

For it was real pride to hold one

And walk the streets hand in hand

Smiling and laughing at each other

Leaving on lookers in awe

Yet this always left my heart shattered

For I searched for sight beauty

One that all could see and smile

Yet my heart was left apart.

Imagining others were different

And held gentle hearts

With real feelings of love

That I gave away my half broken heart

But this became a real dream

For the word true love never lived

As my half heart split in two

Leaving me with four halves

That I tried to mend for life

With a thought of not to love again

Yet another one knocked on my door

Gracious and calm like the one I liked

To be by my side all day long

To think of me all of his life

To hold me like a treasure in life

One that he never let a friend touch

Thinking he was different from the rest

I gave him my four peace broken heart

Yet what did he leave me with

For he laughed like the rest

Breaking my four piece heart to eight

Leaving me in terrible sobs

Curling myself in the house corners

For my heart and mind now broke apart.