present

as I speak right now I am going through one of the most stressful days of my life I have a CPS case open I didn't do anything the last few cases so I doubt they'll do anything this time they never help they only take the kids who don't deserve to go out of their homes and keep the ones that do deserve to go inside I feel like I'm in a cage but on one hand my dad he wants to send me a $600 cab to come with him I could escape the abuse my family's giving me the abuse my grandma or my mom's boyfriend or even my own mother gives me I could escape but I don't know what what's going to happen over there I mean I haven't met my father up until now I don't know what he's like the hardest part be telling my mom and getting in that car I've never left Michigan I was allowed to I'm afraid of leaving my animals behind I'm afraid something will happen to them I love them a lot ever since I lost my cat we go my cat tablet in and blue were the last ones left and I don't want anything to happen to them they're special I know I'm being foolish I'm just trying so hard to be happy with everything that's going on I'm trying to see the bright things but it's not working I just screw up on everything it's been barely taking my meds because it causes me lightheadedness and I can't move I know what's going to help me with my depression I just have to take the meds but it's so hard so hard when I get yelled at for going downstairs either to use the bathroom or eat something I was only downstairs twice yesterday and I got reprimanded for her I don't even know my grandma just she's controlling I hope I'm never like her I would never treat my grandchildren or my children the way my family treats me

~ so I want to be clear this is not a fiction story this is about everything that has happened to me in my lifetime it's all real and this is a story about the abuse I'm suffering through right now I haven't been able to tell anyone I mean I've told loads of people but they all just take pity on me and I'm tired of it it just I want someone to hear me for me and I don't want them to judge me that's the last thing I need right now.