The Alcohol

Percy POV

Let's get one thing straight: I won this proposal. I went over three months without having sex as the deal prompted. Regardless, I didn't feel any satisfaction.

I felt like such a loser.

My mom always told me that there was no such thing as losers and winners. Instead, some people did better at times while others struggled. However, after losing my mother, I only felt like a loser. I kept thinking about all the things that she taught me.

Even during my apologies, I only thought of my beautiful mother. She'd be proud of me for standing in front of my ex-girlfriends, especially those who hate me.

Besides my apologies, I was avoiding social interaction.

My whole body and brain felt numb. It's been a few days since she died, yet I still couldn't function properly. It hurt too much.

I sighed as I checked my text messages.

Percy, please come to lunch today. It'll be good. - Grover.

My best friend was prompting me to come to lunch. I was going to sit in the library (like I did yesterday), but I also wanted to be around my friends. I needed a distraction from the pain.

My mind wandered as I walked to the cafeteria.

I had apologized to every one of my ex-girlfriends except Rachel. She was the most recent of my exes, and she still didn't like me. I decided to get it over with today.

The cafeteria was loud as always. It was funny how the tables near me silenced as I passed them. I knew that I was in the center of gossip, but I didn't care.

The reason that I faked my loss was that I wanted the gossip to stay away from Annabeth. She doesn't deserve to be talked about negatively when she's the most amazing woman. I'd never forgive myself if she got hurt because of me. Moreover, I stayed loyal to the proposal like Annabeth wanted. She just didn't know it.

My friends quietened as I approached our table. My blue hoodie made it difficult for me to see all of them. However, I knew that they were all curious for answers.

They wanted to know why I 'broke' the deal on the last day.

I felt Annabeth's piercing gaze against me, but I shied away from her. I took a seat next to Jason and Grover who patted my shoulder. I was sitting across Rachel by the way.

The silence was suffocating. Fortunately, Leo saved the day.

"Hey, Aquaman, do you want a cookie?"

"When did you have the time to make homemade cookies?" Hazel asked. "Also, you didn't offer any to us."

"These cookies are delicious and sacred. Only those that are worthy of the cookie may have the cookie," Leo expressed. A smile twitched on my mouth before I frowned again.

After the death of a loved one, you feel guilty about smiling or laughing. It sucks, and it takes time to get over it.

I happily accepted the chocolate-chip cookie from Leo. I didn't have much of an appetite over the past week, so I cherished the sweet dessert. "Thanks, Leo." I tentatively nibbled on the cookie. Surprisingly, Leo's baking was delicious.

I expected it to be burned considering how much Leo likes fire, but the cookies were tasty though. Another cycle of silence followed.

"So, uh, I'm just going to address the elephant in the room. The proposal between Percy and Annabeth is over. I believe that Percy apologized to everyone as well," Piper explained. "I think that we should move on. Yeah?"

"He didn't apologize to me," Rachel affirmed. My gaze locked onto her glare. Her curly red hair was in a ponytail today, and her facial expressions became highlighted.

"You're the last on my list," I said firmly. I looked right at her as I spoke. I've always been guilty about how much she resented me.

It made me wonder if I was bad to her.

"I don't know how to say it, but I'm apologizing to you, Rachel. I'm sorry if you were hurt by anything that I did," I expressed earnestly.

"Do you expect me to forgive you, Percy? What happened between us was personal? Honestly, didn't you like me?" she asked. She didn't sound angry, but she wanted the truth.

I did develop a crush on her and that's why I ended things. I was scared of what could happen to her if she found out about my life and my pain.

I don't like her anymore, but at the time, I did feel a connection.

Everyone's eyes pierced into my skin. I could feel Annabeth's gaze on me. Her gray eyes were sparkling with curiosity and intelligence. I loved her beautiful stormy eyes. I could look at them all day. I regretfully turned back to Rachel.

"I did like you," I replied softly.

I even told my mom about Rachel. I didn't tell her that I had feelings because they were so tiny. However, I told her that Rachel was a very interesting and fun girl.

Thinking about my mom sent another wave of sorrow through me. I cleared my throat and swallowed my emotions.

"Thanks for that, Percy. However, I would've preferred if you didn't like me. That way, I could (at least) understand why we broke up," Rachel said while I sighed.

"Rachel, come on," Thalia snapped.

"Ya'll don't get it. Percy liked me, yet he still broke with me. HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? It's so stupid."

"Just let it go, Rachel. It's been months now," Hazel urged.

I remained quiet as her friends tried to convince Rachel to accept my apology. A few of my other girlfriends (Drew being one of them) didn't forgive me either.

It sucks to pay for a punishment that I didn't deserve. However, looking at Annabeth now, I realized that I was willing to take the punishment for her. I could forfeit a thousand wins so that she was happy and safe.

She stayed out of the conversation with Rachel.

Instead, her gray eyes locked onto my sea-green ones from across the table. She searched my face before smiling lightly. It was a warm, comforting smile that expressed that we were okay. Our relationship (whatever it was) was still intact.

That's all I needed to know at the moment. It alleviated my pain. It made me feel whole again.

It allowed me to smile (for a few seconds).

Finally, Rachel turned to me. I braced myself for any more comments that she was going to shoot at me. However, she simply nodded.

"The proposal is officially over now. I forgive you, Percy."

"Thank you, Rachel."

***

Gabe didn't touch me since my mother's death. I wasn't sure why. If anything, I thought that he'd be more violent due to emotional distress. Instead, Gabe remained quiet and solemn for the past week.

It was a weird situation with him.

I hate him so much, yet I also had him to thank for my mother surviving as long as she did. Without his money for her treatment, she wouldn't have made it this long.

As such, my emotions would always be conflicted towards him.

I came home on Friday to see him drinking in the living room. That was expected. The surprise was that an empty seat and a full glass of tequila were waiting near him. However, there was no guest at the house today.

I tried to sneak through the room, but Gabe stopped me.

"Boy, come sit down," he ordered while gesturing to the empty seat. The dim lighting wasn't exactly inviting. Regardless, I obeyed and sat across from him.

"You can take a drink if you'd like," he said gruffly. Since he was smoking, a gray fog flew out of his mouth with each word.

"That's okay, Gabe. I don't want to drink. I don't drink."

Gabe huffed while taking a sip of his beer. I had no idea how he could smoke and drink at the same time. It was disgusting.

I simply looked around the messy living room. This was so awkward. We usually never had meaningful interactions like this. Usually, there were threats or punches.

"I suppose that you'll leave me now that your mother isn't alive anymore."

"What?"

"I'm not an idiot, boy. I know that the only reason you stuck around is for your mother. Now that she's gone, you're free," he spat. Honestly, I was thinking about moving, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I didn't want to live here (with him) anymore.

"I kept your mother alive for so long. I miss her now," Gabe said shockingly.

My gaze snapped towards his face. There were sadness and anger in his eyes. I've never seen him like this. He was also going through pain. He always was.

I had nothing to say to him.

"I see that you're hurting as well. Drinking helps to alleviate pain. Drinking and aggression both help. Of course, you're not the aggressive type."

"Excuse me?" I blurted out.

"You could've fought back all these years, but you restrained yourself. You care about your mother. That's why I'm recommending the tequila for you."

I stared at the liquid in the glass. A lot of pain bubbled inside of me, and I wanted relief from it. However, I wasn't sure that drinking with Gabe was the best idea.

Regardless, my hand gripped the cool, smooth glass.

"You kept my mother alive for as she lived. I'm not saying thanks for that though because you put me through hell. However, you're hurting right now. My mother raised me to look after people who are in pain, so I'll have a drink with you," I whispered.

Gabe huffed before taking another sip of his bear. His greedy gaze didn't leave my face.

My eyes watered as I stared at the alcohol. I missed her so much, and for a few moments, I just wanted to forget about it all. I wanted to forget my problems and drown my pain.

My reasons for not drinking were obvious. However, I needed a way to cope right now. Sex wouldn't help me. I didn't want to engage with any girl when I only had feelings for one in particular (Wise Girl).

As such, at that moment, I succumbed to my vulnerability.

My gaze wandered towards Gabe who was starting to pass out. A few more sips of beer and he'd be out like a light.

I sighed before raising the glass to my lips. The liquid burned in my throat, and lightheadedness weighed over me. Fog wafted my senses as the alcohol entered my system.

I slowly became tipsy but not drunk.

The tequila was enough to temporarily forget the pain. I don't want to drink. My mother also didn't want me to drink. As such, I vowed to myself and my dead mother that this was a one-time thing.

I am a loyal person. I don't break promises.

Gabe passed out on the couch, which allowed me to throw the alcohol in the garbage. I tossed my glass in the trash and retired to my room.

I don't know what came over me next. Maybe, it was the tequila or the vulnerability, but I decided to call Annabeth.

I wanted to spend time with Wise Girl.

"Percy, I wasn't expecting a call from you. I know that things are awkward. Um, what's going on?" Annabeth asked delicately. Her soothing yet strong voice echoed out of my phone.

"It's not that awkward, Wise Girl. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to meet me somewhere tonight," I spoke nervously.

Silence followed. I could hear the metaphorical crickets chirping. What was taking so long? It felt like an eternity before she responded.

"I'm at Persephone's Garden if you want to come," Annabeth whispered. Her voice welcomed me into a state of warmth.

"Absolutely, Wise Girl. I'll see you soon," I replied excitedly.

"I'll be waiting, Seaweed Brain."