mum welcomed me with a warm smile, i don't want to show her my weakness i don't want to bother her with these trivial things she already has a lot on her plate so I just smiled back.
"Dear why are you sheerly drenched as far as i remember I gave you an umbrella which had banana imprints on it, tell me what happened? mum asked with furowed eyebrows.
"mum actually i wanted to enjoy rain so I didn't use my umbrella instead I gave it to my best friend, they didn't have one" i don't know what best friend i am talking about, i just said it to make her less worry.
"Best friend uhm someone got a friend i see, tell me everything sweetheart, how was your day? I wanna know everything" mum asked eagerly with both of her hands clasped together.
"mum you have no idea how many things I want to tell you , but I am so hungry right now if you could give me something to eat then i will also enjoy telling you everything" i replied with my hands on my stomach to show that I am hungry even though i am not.
..
My mum has no idea how many lies she came across with today all because of me. Yes I lied about everything just to not make her worried , i tried my best to avoid as many questions as i could but I had to lie about all of the things.
"Let's celebrate today Ha Na" mum howled with great exuberance.
"celebration for what?" I asked impassively
"you have a best friend, you have such nice friends in school you are no longer lonely , everyone loves you now. Let's celebrate for your this achievement"
"yea..h we should" i tried to show my fake excitement.
..
It's full moon tonight and sky is full of stars, unfortunately I have no one to enjoy this magnificent atmosphere with. Moon is all I have with me.
"That moon looks lonely" i whispered to myself while pointing my little index finger towards the moon ,eventually tears started seeping. I don't know why I am crying , i think it's too much for my little heart to bear with.
To stop all this crying i started manifesting "don't worry Ha Na it's just a phase, everything will be okay in the end if it's not ok then it's not the end" this pep talk with myself always helps me in carrying on with my life.
I shut my teary eyes close and have no idea when I fell asleep in the balcony.
..
4 September, 2017, midnight
It's my 12th birthday today and as always I am stargazing, i love darkness as it hides my unattractive features , i feel stronger at night because my biggest insecurity is my face which I can hide in this blackness.
Since my childhood i have always been able to relate with the moon the most, in a sky full of stars moon is the odd one out and lonely just like me in a world full of decent looking people i am the odd one out and lonely with this potato looking face.
I again fell asleep in the balcony , seems like my second room is balcony.
I woke up early with no enthusiasm and rubbing my eyes to see clearly. My mom attracted my attention I asked curiously "mum what are you making?"
"Look who's awake, happy birthday darling" mum answered without looking at me busy in her cooking .
I tried to take a look , according to me it's seaweed soup . It's in Korean culture to make seaweed soup on every birthday.
When I was done with my inspection i replied "Thank you mommy" and hugged her.
"oh my little girl is becoming a big lady now" she said while cupping my chin ; i giggled.
"Ha Na let's cut the cake right now"
"why now? Ain't we supposed to do it at night" I asked with a surprised face
"Sorry baby but mumma has to go for work and won't be available tonight , I'll be off in an hour. I am really sorry I can't accompany you even on your birthday." she said wistfully.
Watching my face carefully as i was not saying anything , my mum said "You can bring over your friends I won't mind , you rarely talk about them so grab this opportunity and enjoy your birthday"
My mum is unaware of the fact that I am still a lonely monster but in fear of disclosing this fact i quickly replied "yeah great idea mom, I'll contact them . You go and work without worrying about me"
she smiled and pinched my nose softly as she always do
"you're forgetting about the cake" mum mentioned
"no I am not i was about to leave to fetch up that cake you booked last night" i said while wearing my sleepers.
..
I am in good mood today nothing significant happened but I am happy just because it's my birthday.
i am returning back to home after fetching up the cake and all of sudden someone pushed me from behind consequently i fell down , my face on the ground and cake is all messed up.
i got up and noticed that it's none other than Jung Kyong with his halfwit friends.
I glared at them
"oh look this gizzard has got some nerves" Jung Kyong said mockingly
I made up my mind that this time I am not gonna give up on them , it's my birthday i deserve to be happy today i won't let them ruin my birthday, I'll fight back
"You're definitely gonna pay for messing up my cake" i growled and punched Jung Kyong on his face.
his cheeks got red with my punch and i can tell he is infuriated but so am i and I am not going to step back today.
i kicked him on his balls and he cringed down with pain . I gave him another kick on his face and he fell, lying down like a corpse. I snickered at his pathetic look.
I totally forgot about his halfwit friends only if Jung kyong were alone I would've beaten him to half death but those halfwit friends of his were also there, all of them took me down and beat the shit out of me.
I am covered with bruises and blood flowing from my nose and lips.
"Hope you enjoyed your birthday bumps wench" one of Jung Kyong friend said cockily and snickered.