Gangsters

I pressed the doorbell and heard mom shouting from inside "our birthday girl is.." she stopped midway when she opened the door and looked at my messed up face.

"What happened Ha Na?" she growled in anger and looked at me with blazing eyes.

"nothing mum , not a big deal , albeit sorry for ruining this cake" i showed her the messed up cake and my strong demeanor.

"Fuck that cake Ha Na , stop pretending like everything's okay" she snarled , she's full of fury.

I am still quite, i don't want to disappoint her, don't want to tell her anything

"Ha Na i am asking for the last time and if you won't tell me i swear to good it won't be good for you" she warned while pointing her index finger towards me.

"I.. It's just. .. just.. you know" i stuttered and twiddled my fingers.

"Ha Na" she gave me a look

"It was nothing i just got in a fight with Jung Kyong and his friends" i said hurriedly in one breath due to nervousness.

Mum fell on her knees , her hands are on her mouth and she is gasping for air.

I feel so miserable right now seeing her like this breaks my heart , but I know i did the right thing so I won't apologize.

"do you have any idea what have you done?" she howled with wet eyes.

"Yes I do know very well what I have done and i am not regretting even a bit" i stated impassively

"what? Ha Na what are you saying?" mum asked with blazing eyes.

" yes mom I know very well, how long do you want me to step back. In this world there is no place for weaklings i am not gonna step back anymore, i will fight and i will keep my head up with pride"

Hearing this mum got up immediately and slapped me on my cheeks.

Tears started seeping out , i realised I didn't cry when I was in fight alone I didn't cry when I was badly injured but I am crying now because it's the first time my mum has beaten me. It hurts so bad , my heart is aching as if it has been impaled in two pieces.

"who taught you this?" mum shrieked "who taught you that there is no place for weaklings, first of all who said we are weak"

i am not saying anything, my hand is on my cheeks which is still red because of mum's slap and eyes filled with water.

"Ha Na remember i promised you I'll tell you everything when you'll grow up" Mum said calmly.

i just nodded trying not to make eye contact .

"I guess its the time to tell you" Mum patted my head and i am just waiting for her to reveal the truth.

"They have connection with gangsters"

"what?" i shrieked out

"yes Ha Na that's why I asked you to stay away from them, it's not only about them, their parents also have connection with gangsters"

I am in utter disbelief, i am so shocked that I want to ask a lot of questions but words are not coming out from my mouth.

"And it's not about some petty gangsters they are connected to Korea's biggest gang Shark group"

"Shark group!" i repeated as i am clueless about it , I've never heard about it.

"mhm" mum nodded

"Then why don't we go to police, what's the use of police" i asked

"do you think this would've continued if police were not corrupt. They are also with them , we can't do anything in this situation so it's best to avoid them"

"But mom what do these gangsters do?"

"they are bad people; murder, theft, rape, robbery these are their niche"

My eyes widen after knowing that i am sharing the same neighbourhood with such type of gangsters.

"I am already scared that you've messed with them what if they'll target you"

now I know why mum was so furious and slapped me. Obviously any mother would have reacted like this.

"Mum why do they harm people, what do they get from hurting innocent people" i asked curiously

"Baby as I've told you many times they are sadist, they enjoy hurting people like some psychopaths and also for money" mum answered while cupping my face, she is feeling bad i guess for slapping me.

I am quiet not because mum slapped me but because i am in prolonged thought thinking about this Shark group and those gangsters.

"Sweetheart you don't have to worry they won't inflict any harm on you if you'll avoid them from now on. " She tries to give me fake hopes that they won't hurt me but she isn't aware of the fact that they hurt me even if I avoid them.

Mum is probably wondering that i am scared but I am not , i am just surprised. But to make her less worry i nodded like an obedient child.

Mum applied some ointment on my wounds and bandaged me. Now it's much better than before.

"I'll have to go to work Ha Na i am already running late" mum said while looking at her wrist watch. "And once again happy birthday daughter"

"yeah mum go , take care" i waved my hands, mum waved off back and left.

My birthday is ruined and i don't know what to do next therefore I'll just sleep , you can't be sad if you are asleep. Sleeping is my therapy.

....

2 April 2022

First Day of High School

In these past years I have grown more distant from my mum , because more closer to her means I will be more closer in disclosing my biggest secret of being a lonely monster.

"Darling first day of high school excited right" she has a wide smile on her face and gave me a fist bump

"Of course mum" i tried to show my excitement.

i can't even tell my mum about my lonelilness, this couldn't have been worse. All these darkness inside me is gradually eating me out , it stings deep down but I have to endure it.

I won't repeat the same mistake of having hopes from high school as i did on my first day in elementary school.

Mum is always busy in her work and we barely hang around together , nothing has changed, people still hate me and i still have no one by my side. But now i am so used to of it that at this moment it doesn't even matter.

..

I took a deep breath and entered my classroom.

As expected everyone is gossiping about my ugly features , but they don't know about this Ha Na , i am not scared anymore i have my own ways to deal with them and i won't sit on the last bench why would I. I sat on the third bench and took out my book and started pretending as if I'm reading it.

All of them are still gossiping deliberately loud. Suddenly all of them went quiet out of curiosity i kept my book down to see what's happening and i noticed that there is a group of boys and girls standing at the entrance door of my classroom they are 6 in total. four girls two boys and they are the biggest bully of our school. Rumours are that one pair among them are dating but don't know who are they.

All of the kids are shivering from fear and bowed down to greet them but neither i am afraid of them nor i will greet these pieces of shit. They don't deserve any kind of greeting.

"hey you nasty wench don't you know you have to greet us" one of them shouted

i am trying to avoid eye contact with them and ignoring whatever they are saying.

"hey!!" she slammed her hand on the desk trying to get my attention.

one of the best tactic to annoy a person is to not give them what they desperately want. And in this case they want my fear they want my attention which I will not give them.

That girl shot like an arrow towards me and yanked my deep black long hair. I scowled at her.

"hey Min Yuna! let her go, she's a newbie I'll teach her a lesson" One of the girl standing in the centre who seems to be their leader screamed and gave me a half suppressed smile , a smile given by a lion to their prey trying to show ,that prey is now in their possession.

I smirked back to show that i am ready for anything.

I was wrong about nothing has changed, there is one thing that is not same .Yeah my strong personality, i am stronger than before and i have learnt some fighting skills too from YouTube. I am no longer that wimpy kid i am a valorous warrior now who knows how to enlighten their path in face of adversity.