Amount Received

When I realised I am far away from Han River, I slowed down my pace. And now all I can think about is Ji Hoon. I never thought I can mean so much to someone, I can't say anything except that I am truly sorry. I really love his warmth but I'm scared that I'll burn away.

I want to drink alcohol to get rid of my stress, so I went inside a shop.

"Hello, can I get a bottle of alcohol please"

"Your identification proof" shopkeeper asked.

Wow! A minor can get into a strip club in this country but can't get a drink.

I gave a sheepish smile to the shopkeeper and said "Actually I forgot to bring my ID proof, but I am an adult, don't worry"

Shopkeeper again asked "No ID proof?"

I shook my head.

"Then no alcohol" shopkeeper replied in a hoarse voice.

"Hehe please" I begged but shopkeeper gave me a cold, glaring look so at the end I just booked a taxi and left for home.

I even searched in the kitchen for alcohol but I couldn't find it.

I rummaged throughout my mum's bedroom but it was of no avail. But I didn't give up here, I groped throughout the living room and then I finally achieved success, there were many bottles of Soju under the table.

I sat down on the floor and took a sip.

"Eww!" I winced my eyes and twitched my mouth. I released a croaking, rasping sound.

"Why is it so bitter?"

"It's so unlike when I tasted alcohol from Ji Hoon's mouth"

"I want that taste, I already miss it" I whined to myself.

...

"Ha Na, Ha Na wake up"

"Wake up!"

I barely managed to open my eyes, I can't see clearly, my head is dizzy.

"Ha Na, what happened to you?"

"This voice is familiar" I wondered

Aah my head, I can't even sit straight it feels as if a huge burden is on me.

"Ha Na!"

Why is someone keep calling me again and again and keep jolting me to and fro.

"Aah this voice, mum!" I said but words didn't come out because my lips are so dry and pursed together that I can't even utter a word.

I rubbed my eyes from the back of my hand and somehow managed to open them. Then mum helped me in getting up.

"Ha Na what happened baby, who did this to you?" I can see how worried she is from the look of her face and her tone.

"Ha Na answer me quickly, do we have to call the cops for this? Who is to blame for this? mum continued in a disquieting voice.

I gulped my saliva and kept my palm on my heart, to focus on what's happening. I took few deep breaths and blinked my eyes restlessly.

"Mom.."

"Oh! you finally spoke something" Mum hugged me as she said this.

"Dear, tell me what happened?"

I looked around me and noticed that there are six bottles of Soju lying down, all empty, I remember, I took a sip. But when did this mishap took place?

"Ha Na! I am tired of asking same thing again and again" mom is exasperated so she yelled.

I scratched my scalp and twitched my lips "I don't quite remember mom"

"Oh! For god's sake Ha Na, don't lie"

"And what's with these makeup and your clothes, where were you?"

"Tell me fast!"

Her rage is increasing along with her statements and questions.

"Ha Na if you won't answer me right at this moment, I swear .. I swear I'll beat you to pulp" her cold gaze and threatening look made me crouch down.

I closed my eyes and said in one breath "I needed money!"

"For what?"

"I want $150,000" I replied

Mum's eyes are as wide open as if her eyes will bulge out any moment.

I took a deep breath and then told her about my deal with Yeji's dad.

Mum sat down with a thud. Unable to speak anything, face pale and none of her body parts moving, not even her eyes. Her forehead resting on her palm. She remained like a statue for quite a long time.

Meanwhile, I kept begging her to speak "Mom please say something"

"Mom!" I cried out as I moved closer to her.

"Mom, I'm so sorry, beat me as much as you want, but please talk to me, please don't abandon me. Mom you are the only person left for me. Please mom please don't be like this" I wailed.

Mom shrugged off my hands from her shoulders and stood up, she didn't even look at me and directly reached for the door.

"Mom..." I cried out, my hands trying to reach her but cannot reach her.

As she was about to open the door and get out she asked without cocking her head even an inch "And how were you going to get that amount?" she asked in a tone which is as cold as ice, and her each and every word pierced my heart severely.

At this moment, I wish if she'd just beat me to pulp, atleast it wouldn't have hurt this much. She is treating me like detestable person.

"I..I was" I stammered but then I quickly came up with a lie "I was looking for jobs which could lend me that huge amount"

After hearing this, mum slammed the door shut and just left.

With that clonking sound of the door, I realised that I've lost all of my stars which I had in my mini galaxy.

...

I spent my rest of the day in a languid state but I cleaned the house and did the laundry to make up for my mistake even though it is nothing in front of my mistake.

I haven't heard from my mom since she left, I couldn't dare to call her but I dropped several texts asking about her whereabouts. She has seen most of them but haven't replied and apparently won't reply.

Before all these things, when I got that part time job, I thought everything is okay now, and, now I can earn some money and can afford a therapist for my mom. But who knew, that was just a peace before the arrival of a storm.

My mom deserves a much better child than me, I don't know how to make up for my mistake or if I'll ever be able to makeup for it in my whole life.

My self talk got disturbed when I heard a creaking sound from my door and I turned back "Mom!" I exclaimed, I can't see by myself but I am sure that my eyes are sparkling because of her arrival.

Mum threw a wad of money on my bed, my eyes widened at the sight of that huge amount of money.

I asked without wasting a second "Mom, how did you manage to get it?"

But mum didn't answer my question and left my room, even when she entered she didn't look at me.

"Am I that bad, mom?" I murmured, but then I ran to the living room impatiently as I am really curious, I saw mom sitting on the couch. Wearing no expressions on her pale face, she looks like a dead doll.

"Mom are we really not going to talk?" but again there is no response from her end and all we have is an unpleasant silence between us.

"Mom please don't abhor me!" I begged.