Is it wrong to Speak in a dungeon? by AnxietyOverlord (Danmachi)
*it says no crossover, but the mc has the powers of jjk character inumaki toga*
Latest update:March 20, 2024
Summary:There's too few Danmachi fics with 100k words. I'm making my own, JOJO! Some random kid got yoinked and thrown into Danmachi as Inumaki Toge.
Link:https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14173236/1/Is-it-wrong-to-Speak-in-a-dungeon
Word count:246k
Chapters:20
…
As I stare at the blue sky for a few moments, I decide to impart my unparalleled wisdom to the world.
"Fuck."
Some nameless peasants nearby stared at me as if I was crazy, unable to understand my incomprehensible wisdom.
Fools.
They are unable to comprehend that I am a being so far beyond their understanding and beyond even this realm that their entire existence used to be mere FICTION to me!
"You okay, son?" A dwarf man speaks from behind me as he pats me on the back.
I stare down at him, momentarily just staring silently before offering a small nod.
He's the average dwarf from all fantasies that I've read and watched. Short, bearded, can probably snap me in two. He even has the stereotypical axe on his back.
"Keep your head high. I don't know what's troubling you, but you're too young to give up, son." He pats me on the back again before continuing on, leaving me to just stare at his back with a weird expression.
"Shake." (Salmon) I slowly nod before staring back at the broken piece of glass I had found which caused me to unleash my wisdom upon this world.
I STRONGLY resemble a particular character from Jujutsu Kaisen, and if it wasn't obvious by my earlier response…
Toge Inumaki.
Now, I don't actually need to speak in rice ball ingredients or whatever food it was that he referenced, shown by how I had said 'fuck' earlier, and everyone on the street is still clothed and moving without suddenly stopping to commit intercourse. I just do it for the memes.
Though… now I wonder if that's even what would happen... I hold great power.
I stare at my Platinum Blonde hair reaching out for it as I gaze into my Violet eyes. I slowly lower my collar and stare at the tattoo on my face, the Snake and Fangs seal of the Inumaki clan, which all but guarantees that I do indeed have Cursed Speech.
Which by the way… is AMAZING!
I am so gonna shout 'SHIT YOUR PANTS' at a crowd once I'm sure I can outrun whoever spots me.
The trolling potential of this… it's scary.
I snap out of my thoughts momentarily as I take a deep breath and look up-
To see a gigantic tower, piercing the skies and even higher as it stands tall and proud, defying the earth.
The Tower of Babel, the one that stands above the dungeon directly.
The tower from a certain anime/manga named 'Is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon?', or alternatively, 'Danmachi'.
"Honestly… Not even that bad of a world." I muse silently.
I mean sure, there's like a shit ton of monsters in the dungeon out to kill me, and the big bad dragon is out there but… Compared to other worlds? This is pretty tame.
I mean, I could've been in Marvel, DC, Worm, heck RWBY is like a worse version of this world since it's basically Danmachi before the gods went down and gave everyone superpowers.
Here? The only danger is the monsters in the dungeon, the One-Eyed Dragon, and some dumbass gods with too much time on their hands.
At least… that's all I know? I never fucking finished this anime. T'was pretty shit. Last thing I remember was the fox waifu, or renard, that Bell saved. I think he was like Level 3 at that time?
I think there were some monster people? Zenos I believe. Or Zanos? Something like that.
"Oi! Stop standing in the middle of the road, dumbass!" Some mongrel pushes me as I stumble slightly before turning with a small glare at the offending man.
I see the bitch who pushed me making his way through the crowd roughly while yelling out curses at anyone in his way, and my lips curve into a very menacing (mischievous) smile.
I quickly move behind him as he stomps his way through the crowd.
"Shit Yourself." I whisper behind him as a very loud sound suddenly erupts in the middle of the street.
The man that was bulldozing his way through the streets suddenly stops in place with a paling face as he stares at his pants, the back of them now tainted by a very clear brown.
I take my chance to immediately sneak away from this place while snickering.
That's what you get for messing with me, DIO!
Not that my name is Dio, It's Michael. Though now I should probably add Inumaki to that to give some respect to Toge and his clan.
Michael Inumaki! How fucking shitty of a name! We got my regular old Mikey Michael name, and then a random Japanese last name to that!
Wait… do they use honorifics here? Oh hell no. I am not about to act like that one cringe kid at school who says 'senpai' and 'sensei' and shit. If I hear anyone using honorifics I'll command them to shit themselves until the world simply stops using them out of fear of suddenly shitting themselves.
Yes! FEAR ME! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Some irrelevant crowds stare at me disapprovingly, but I do not mind them as I continue my evil laugh.
Though I haven't heard anyone using cringey honorifics while speaking English, so I should be fine. Or rather, the world shall be fine… for now!
I continue my way down the road as I hum to myself, contemplating things.
So… the current situation? I'm in Danmachi as Toge Inumaki, the only things I have are the school uniform for Jujutsu Sorcerers, a cracked phone without charge in it, a wallet with money that means nothing in this world, and cough drops.
Those actually will probably be useful. I don't know when my throat's gonna become sore from overuse- wait that sounds wrong…
I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I spot a familiar stand with an even more familiar person in it.
Jagamaru-kuns…
KUN? THAT'S AN HONORIFIC!
I stare at the short goddess in the stand as I contemplate trying to use my Cursed Speech to make her shit her pants…
I mean… do gods even shit? I think they have mortal bodies so… they should?
This feels like how I used to think girls didn't poop, now it's gods though.
Though I feel that thinking that gods don't poop is completely reasonable! I mean, they're gods… Why would they want to take a shit?
I stand on a sidewalk as I continue staring at the goddess who's happily advertising her Jagamaru-Kuns.
Hmmm… I guess I'll forgive her this once for having an honorific, mostly because I think I want to join her familia.
I mean, other choices? Freya, YUCK! E… T H O T! Loki? Honestly, she's a trickster like me and we'd have a lot of fun… but she's way too high profile for me and I think that her familia gets into major deep shit later on so… Denied!
Next is Hephaestus, also known as the #1 waifu according to all Danmachi fans I've met. I don't really know why though. She's cool and all, definitely beautiful, but I didn't see anything exactly… ehh… particularly attractive about her…?
Ion wanna be a smith so… Denied!
Ganesh- DENIED!
Ish- DENIED! That one is for you, Gil!
Uh… what's the name of that one potion maker…? Take something? Wait no that's the Japanese war guy godman with the hot samurai girl. I forgor the potion man's familia name so… Denied…?
All that is left is-
"Hey! Would you like to buy some Jagamaru-kuns? I guarantee that they are the most delicious snack you'll ever taste!" Hestia suddenly calls out to me as I blink.
I slowly approach her stand as she smiles brightly at me.
I can definitely tell that this is a goddess with how her presence exudes divinity. She was very beautiful, with twin-tailed black hair and deep blue eyes. Definitely short though.
"Hello! Do you want to buy one?" She asks me as I smile slightly.
"Not exactly… I wish to join your familia, Lady Goddess." I slowly speak, playing the quiet/shy card right now for future pranking opportunities.
Hestia stops in her tracks for a second as her smile freezes. She slowly moves her face up to face me (not having to do it too much, considering I'm 5'4) as she stares at my deadpan expression.
"R-really?" She says with shock and hope as she stares at me pleadingly.
I nod slowly as she jumps in joy with a 'Yahoo!'.
"Alright! My second child… and the day after I got my first one too! Wooo!" She fist bumps the sky happily before turning to me. "I'm gonna close up shop for today! Just give me a single minute and I'll be with you!" She doesn't give me time to respond as she begins quickly packing, leaving me to think.
Bell already entered the familia! Woohoo!
I'm counting on him to do his thing and level up at an atrociously high speed. The reason I joined this familia was so I could be with him and just leech off him once he's level 10 or whatever.
I mean… I don't wanna sound like a leech or anything but… I don't think I'm gonna be able to get a level in a single month as he did, and I don't wanna live in the dumps my entire life because I'm not the main character so…
Joining now that the familia is still starting will cement my place beside them, and considering how I can probably combat level 2s with Toge's powers… I'm gonna be Bell's older brother figure!
Then I can enjoy my life while pranking people without worry as I stare at all the mongrels under me as the strongest familia!
I was about to begin laughing evilly again, but Hestia seems to have finished as she bounces towards me and grabs my wrist while dragging me away.
"I'm so excited! My Bell is gonna have someone with him in the dungeon to help him! Oh! I haven't introduced myself yet! My name is Hestia! Goddess of Hearth and Home." She seems positively giddy as she happily hops forward.
"My name is Inumaki Michael. Please call me Mike." I try to bow slightly, but I'm currently being dragged by a very enthusiastic goddess, so it's pretty tough to do that.
"Oh! Are you from the Far East? Your last name certainly sounds like it's from there." She asks the dreaded question that every isekai'd weeb experiences after giving themselves Japanese names.
"My origins are somewhat similar in nature to the Far East, yes." I answer misleadingly.
She happily nods while moving as random bystanders stare at us with smiles of mirth and humor.
I'm tempted to tell them to shit themselves but… Hestia would get caught in the crossfire.
The sacrifices I have to make…
"So… why did you choose to join my familia, Mikey?" She already gave me a nickname? Dang.
"… I want to be an Adventurer, Lady Goddess. As you know, I need to join a god's familia to get a falna so that I can be a good adventurer. When I was contemplating which god or goddess to join, I decided on you after seeing you. After all, a goddess with a divinity relating to Home and Hearth could not be a bad goddess right?" I answered truthfully. I did technically see her, but not in the way she might think. T'was through a screen!
I watch her stare at me silently as she stops moving for a few seconds before a gentle smile finds its way to her face.
"Mikey, crouch down for a second." Hestia suddenly requests as I stare at her in confusion before doing so with a small nod.
She puts her hand on my head with a smile.
"I'm happy to see that you're putting so much trust in me, if only for what my divinities stand for. I promise you that I will take care of you as your goddess as long as you stand with me in my familia." She keeps petting my head as random people stare at the scene in confusion.
I stare at the goddess for a few seconds before nodding silently.
"… I will strive to be the best child I can for your familia until my last breath." I vow to her with honesty as she beams at me and continues walking, leaving me to stare at her while she happily skips.
Damn. That was intense.
Her aura intensified when she talked, it was honestly… humbling? I'm not sure.
We continue walking for a few minutes, slowly going into a lesser populated part of Orario as Hestia begins sneaking nervous glances at me.
I already knew she lived in an abandoned church with Bell, but I'm not supposed to know that yet.
I don't really mind though. I'm literally homeless.
We continue moving for a few minutes before Hestia stops in front of a run-down church and turns around to nervously smile at me.
"Welcome home…! I know that it may seem… destroyed but-" Hestia began to speak at a million miles per hour as I chuckle inwardly and put a hand on her head.
"Lady Hestia, I do not have any housing currently. This is much more than I could ask for." I smile at her, which can't be seen due to my collar but my eyes express it well enough.
She takes a deep breath and slaps my hand away with a pout.
"You could've just said that without patting my head! I'm your goddess dammit!" She begins punching me lightly with a pout as I stand there and take it like a man.
"I apologize. You mentioned that you had another child in your familia… correct?" I quickly change the subject as her mood does a 180 as she beams happily and hops her way into the run-down church.
"Yes! Bell should be registering right now and buying some starter equipment to go dungeon diving! Once he returns I'll ask him to help you register and get some gear for you too!" She begins heading down into the basement as I walk down the stairs and inspect the area.
It's just as the anime showed. There's a small kitchen, a living room, a single room, and a bathroom. Nothing too fancy, but it was home for now and that's more than I had an hour ago.
"Welcome home, Mikey!" Hestia smiled at me as she jumped on one of the chairs to be at eye level with me.
It hurts to say that she's actually taller than me now that she's standing on a chair.
I used to be 5'10 damn it! That would've been tall in this world because it was made by a Japanese dude!
"Thank you, Lady Hestia." I bow to her once I'm done complaining in my head.
"Of course! You are my child now." She pats me on the head for a few seconds.
"Now! Take off your shirt!" She smiles mischievously but her smile falls once I do as she asks without changing my expression.
"Shake." (Salmon) I look at her, now shirtless, as she stares at my face with eyes full of wonder.
"Woah! You have a tattoo on your face! And your tongue too!" She begins poking my face as I silently nod, not skilled enough to hide my small smile.
"Yes. This is the Snake and Fangs seal from my clan." I let my tongue out as she 'wow's.
"Woah! So does everyone have to get the seal tattoo thing in your clan?" She asks as I struggle to hide my increasing smile.
"No. Only those who inherit the clan trait have it." Her eyes sparkle once she hears this.
"Oooooh? What's your clan trait? What even is a clan trait? Are you some sort of-" "Stop."
Hestia was about to bombard me with a million questions but was suddenly stopped in her tracks as her eyes widened and she stared at me in wonder.
"WOAH! THAT WAS AWESOME! YOU WERE LIKE, STOP! AND THEN I STOPPED!" She began jumping around as I tilted my head at her in amusement.
Shouldn't she be panicked about what having an ability like this would mean? An ability like this is not something to be overlooked. Oh, maybe she doesn't understand what it was exactly.
"Sit." I say and Hestia sits. This time, however, her face loses its wonder as she stares at me with widened eyes.
"I see that you did not understand what my Cursed Speech does exactly…" I comment expressionlessly as her face grows serious.
"Michael… your power is something extremely dangerous. It is also something that the higher familias would fight for… Why did you want to join my familia?" She asked seriously as she stood up on the chair.
I lowered my head and stood silently for a few seconds before responding.
"It's just as I said, Lady Hestia. I did not know if I could trust any god or goddess with myself. Once I saw you though, I fully believe that I will not regret leaving myself in your care. I know that having me here would be a huge risk to your familia, but I wish to show you that I am worth the risk, if you will let me, Lady Goddess." I bow to her once again, hiding my face from view.
She stares at me silently for what feels like hours as I continue bowing.
Eventually, she lets out a sigh.
"Having you here is a huge risk to me and my Bell, but I already accepted you as one of mine, and if I turned my back on you now I'd never be able to forgive myself. Now lay down already you troublemaker! I haven't even given you your Falna and you've found a way to give me a heart attack!" She smacks me lightly on the head as she smiles brightly.
I raise my head with a small grateful smile as I move to lie down on the couch.
"Thank you, Lady Hestia. I don't know what I would've done if you asked me to take my shirt off and then kicked me out of your house." I took great pleasure from how she gasped and sputtered behind me before kicking my back.
"Don't say misleading things like that! Now shut up and let me focus! I've only done this once before and it was yesterday!" She smacks me on the back once again before she pricks her finger and begins adding the falna.
The feeling of being given a Falna is weird. That's all that I'm gonna describe it with since it's a one-time thing and I'm too mentally fucked to care enough and analyze it more.
I wait for her to finally finish as I've been sitting for a few minutes already, but suddenly feel myself being smacked at the top of my head repeatedly.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? A MAGIC AND TWO SKILLS? DO YOU WANT MY FAMILIA TO BE COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY ALL THE GREEDY GODS WHO WILL DEFINITELY BE OUT TO GET YOU FROM ME?" She continues smacking me as I become thoughtful.
Two skills? I expected Cursed Speech to be one of the magics I had, but if I got the full Inumaki package then I could probably utilize Cursed Energy. What's the second skill though?
"Lady Hestia, if you do not stop yelling, someone may hear and you would actually be hunted for my skills. Also, I thought that you would be a benevolent goddess that would care for me, not abuse me thoroughly by hitting me every chance she gets." I speak with no emotion in my tone, betraying the shit-eating grin on my face that she can't see.
She stops attacking me for a second as I physically feel her pouting.
"One second… Here. Look at your stats already you freak!" She places a paper on my back before tracing something and shoving a paper at my head.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Name: Michael Inumaki
Race: Human (Jujutsu Sorcerer)
Level: 1
Ability Scores:
STR: I-0
END: I-0
DEX: I-0
AGI: I-0
MAG: I-0
Magic:
Cursed Speech:
This magic allows the user to infuse their words with cursed energy to improve the spirit of their commands, forcing all those who hear it to obey.
[]
[]
[]
Skills:
Cursed Energy Manipulation:
The ability to gather, channel, and release Cursed Energy. The greater the Negative energy present, the more energy can be channeled and gathered.
Privative Gathering:
Increased Excelia gained from the gathering of Cursed Energy.
…
"Oh…"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN OH? SHOULDN'T YOU BE MORE SURPRISED?!" She screams at me as I stare at the paper.
Well… I was right about the Cursed Speech and Cursed Energy Manip, this Privative Gathering one though…
Does that mean that as long as there's a lot of Negative energy going around, I gain more excelia?
This skill seems like it's tailor-made for a villain rather than a hero…
Oh well.
"I expected my Cursed Speech and Cursed Energy Manipulation as that is something given when it comes to my clan. I am unsure about Privative Gathering though… Do you have any insight you can offer me about this skill?" I get up from my laying position as Hestia falls gently to the couch and off my back.
"Nope! I haven't heard of any skill like that before. Now! You tell me what Cursed Energy is mister!" She points her finger at me accusingly and dramatically.
"... It's negative energy. Energy produced by negative emotions." I explain slowly.
Her eyebrows furrow as she stares at me.
"... Basically, when someone feels grief, anger, sadness, and other negative emotions, they release Cursed Energy. I can harness that energy." I explain further at her questioning gaze.
As she goes to respond, someone opens the door to the basement.
"I'm home, Lady Goddess!" The voice of a young teenager sounds out as Hestia immediately turns away from me and runs towards where Bell is coming, completely forgetting the serious moment we're having in favor of being all Dokie Dokie with her Bell.
I smirk as I start putting my shirt back on.
"Bell-kun!" Jazz music stops. "-You would not believe what happened while I was at work today! We've got a new Familia member!" She happily announces to the newly arrived Bell as I finally get a good look at the main character.
He's just as I remember. Red eyes, white hair, as tall as I am- Fuck.
Anyways, he doesn't look like much just from first glance. Which is fair, since he isn't much right now… but once he gets Liar's Phase or whatever it was… That's gonna change majorly.
For now, however, I'm gonna cement myself as the cool older brother before he overtakes me with his ridiculous growth speed.
Wait! Privative Gathering increases my Excelia gain… could I keep up with Bell?
I stop to think to myself for a few moments as I contemplate this…
I mean… It's possible, no? I also have increased Excelia gain. While I do not have the ridiculous massively boosted increase Bell does, I have a two-week headstart on him if Canon stays true, and I already have the power of a Level 2, maybe even a really weak level 3. Though I may be overestimating myself.
"Err… Don't mind him, Bell. He's really quiet most of the time except when he wants to say something snarky." Hestia smiles awkwardly and I realize that I haven't said anything yet and have been simply staring at Bell.
"Ah, I apologize. I was simply overwhelmed momentarily at seeing my new Familia. It's a pleasure meeting you, Bell. My name is Inumaki Michael. Please, call me Mike. Let's look out for each other in the future." I offer a slight bow as Bell grows red and quickly bows back.
"My name is Bell Cranel, nice to meet you, Mike. I hope we can grow together in the future too!" His enthusiastic voice makes a smile appear on my face as I raise my head and look at him.
"Yes. I was told that I should come with you and register myself as an adventurer as soon as possible." I inform him what Hestia told me but am cut off by the goddess herself.
"None of that! We got a new Familia member so… It's time to celebrate! I was able to sneak some Jagamaru-kuns for us to enjoy!" Hestia raises a bag into the air smugly as I briefly wonder where she hid it.
She cou- oh! Oh…
"Ah! You're amazing, Lady Goddess!" Bell raises his fist happily into the air as Hestia blushes.
I raise my fist into the air too out of peer pressure as Hestia sets the bag down and reveals the weird potato bread snack thing I think.
"Heh. Mikey is actually very amazing, Bell. I'm sure you two will be able to travel safely in the dungeon now that he's here." Hestia puffs her chest out proudly as I can physically feel Bell's admiring gaze moving toward me.
Bro, homie, homeman, homebro. She hasn't even said why I'm so 'amazing'. Why are you acting like I'm Jesus and I came back for the second time?
"... I will endeavor to do so." I simply say as I eat the Jagamaru-Kun.
Isn't this the Sword Princess's favorite food or something? It's good but… shouldn't she be rich as fuck?
"What weapon do you use, Mike?" Bell suddenly asks as I stop for a second.
I can feel that I have some of Toge's combat experience, but it's all Cursed Energy Manipulation, Cursed Speech, and hand-to-hand.
I definitely need a physical martial weapon.
"... I am trained in Energy Manipulation and my Clan Trait. I am also proficient in hand-to-hand combat. I do not yet have experience with any martial weapons, but I know of a certain… acquaintance of mine that used polearms. I picked up a thing or two from back then. I believe I will stick to spears and similar weapons." I eventually say, referencing Maki.
"Your Clan Trait? Do you have some sort of innate magic like Elves?" Of course Bell would know about stuff like that. He's an elf nerd after all.
"Jump" I command, and Bell complies immediately as he jumps into the air and hits the roof. Hestia also jumps as I realize that I still don't know how to make my commands target only one person.
Gotta get on that ASAP…
"Sorry Lady Goddess, Bell. I didn't think Bell would jump that high…" I quickly apologize as Hestia latches onto Bell's side to nurse his head.
Considering the way she's dreamily smiling while rubbing his head, I don't think she minds.
"Ah… It's fine. That's an incredible power! I can't wait to see it in action." He smiles awkwardly as he tries to pry Hestia off of him.
Shaking my head. Zeus did not teach him right. A beautiful goddess is basically begging for you and you're acting like a Virgin anime protagonist?
Wait…
Hestia looks at me as her face is being pushed away from Bell, and I take the chance to give her a thumbs up and a 'go get em' hand gesture as she begins blushing profusely.
Bell takes the chance to finally pry her off and moves to sit on the chair as she pouts.
"Uhm… Thank you for the meal, Lady Goddess. But I think it's time for me and Mike to go get a weapon and register him into the Guild. If we want to head to the dungeon tomorrow, we're gonna have to do it today before night." Bell gets up as I follow suit while Hestia continues pouting.
"Fine! Make sure to return as soon as you're done. I'll be waiting." She jumps on the couch just as I get up from it and begins rolling around while grumbling.
"Excuse us, Lady Hestia." I nod to her before looking at Bell as he laughs nervously.
"Alright! Follow me, Mike." He heads up the stairs and I follow him after one last glance at Hestia.
Here we go~
[Timeskip! At the Guild]
The guild is bigger and grander than what was shown in the anime. There's a shit ton of space around here and even more employees running around.
"Ah! There. Follow me, Mike!" Bell quickly moves towards a certain employee as I follow him curiously.
It's a brunette half-elf with green eyes, I can tell because of the ears. This must be... Uh… Aina?
"Miss Eina! Sorry to bother you again on the same day but I came here to register a new addition to our familia. This is Inumaki Michael. He's amazing! He has-" I quickly cover his mouth with my hand as I deadpan at him.
"... It's good to meet you, Miss Eina. As Bell said, I am Inumaki Michael." I bow my head slightly while still somewhat glaring at Bell.
"... Ah… Nice to meet you, Mr. Inumaki. What was Bell saying earlier…?" She smiles awkwardly as she watches me still keeping Bell's mouth shut.
I look at Bell with half-lidded eyes as he stares at me with confusion.
"Bell…" I sigh and move to whisper in his ear. "Keep my abilities a secret. Unless you want to put Lady Hestia at risk. I am a completely normal adventurer, alright?" I move back and watch as Bell nods quickly with a pale face.
"It was nothing. I apologize for that, Miss Eina." I take my hand back as Bell laughs sheepishly in his anime protagonist way.
"Yes. It was nothing! Now, uh, can you please help me register Mike and get him a starter weapon?" Bell requests with a grimace as Eina simply sighs.
"Of course. Mr. Inumaki, please be sure to join Bell in our classes every day so I can brief you on the monsters you'll be encountering in the dungeon." Eina professionally speaks as she raises her glasses up, anime style.
"I am aware of the monsters all the way to Floor 7, with a few ideas on everything until the 17th." I inform her as I watch her eyes narrow.
"What monsters are on the 2nd floor?" She asks suspiciously.
"From floors 1-4 Kobolds, a dog-like monster, and Goblins appear. They are capable of wielding landform weapons and excel at overwhelming their enemies with numbers and aggressive attacks. From floors 2 to 4, Dungeon Lizards spawn, which, while not that strong, are able to spawn from the roof and attack unsuspecting adventurers. There is also the Jack bird but… It's not really relevant. Floor 6 has War Shadows and Frog Shooters, the first being a dark humanoid monster with 3 sharp claws that are known as the Newbie Killer due to its killing of many new adventurers. Frog shooters are one-eyed frog creatures that are capable of extending their tongues to surprise adventurers. On floor 7 are Killer Ants, Purple Moths, Needle Rabbits, and Blue Papillos. The first is the other Newbie killer, which is an ant creature with a very strong exterior and powerful mandibles. It is also capable of releasing pheromones when heavily injured that call more Killer Ants to its location, making it an extremely dangerous monster. Next comes Purple Moths, which are moth creatures capable of releasing a dangerous poison that can only be countered by the Abnormal Resistance development ability as well as antidote potions. Needle rabbits are rabbit creatures with a sharp horn/tusk on their head. Blue Papillos have some form of healing effect and are pretty rare." I speak with a complete monotone and absolutely no expression while inwardly laughing my ass off as Eina and Bell stare at me with horror.
"..."
"... I… see… It seems that you are… extremely educated on those floors. If you need any other help feel free to consult me…" Eina seems to be at a loss for words, and Bell is staring at me as if I'm Jesus again.
Heh.
"I will do so. Thank you for your assistance, Miss Eina." I bow my head slightly and she returns it with a nod as she takes a paper out from under the desk.
"Here, please write these in and you will be done. After that, Bell can show you where you can find your starter weapon. If you need to, you can take a temporary loan from the guild until you can pay it back." I take the sheet that's handed to me and look at its contents.
It's just name, race, and all that normal stuff. I quickly begin writing that stuff in while looking back up at Eina.
"I would like to take that loan, if possible." Bell looks at me worriedly and I just give him a firm nod as he hesitantly looks away.
"Very well. I need you to sign this as well and after that, you can go purchase your weapon." She takes out a pouch full of 'Valis' I believe it was as well as another parchment.
"I've finished filling this in anyway. Thank you for your help, Miss Eina." I hand her the first paper while quickly signing the second one and grabbing the money.
"Of course. It is my duty. If you need any help you may speak to me at any time as long as I'm at the guild. One last piece of advice for you, Mr. Inumaki. Please do not be overconfident." Her firm eyes that were staring deep into mine shook something momentarily within me as I blinked.
"... Yes. Thank you." I quietly respond while looking at Bell so he can lead the way.
"Goodbye, Miss Eina!" He waves to her enthusiastically while leading me to a small counter to the side.
We approach a human male who's lazily sitting at the counter, slowly looking up from some papers to stare at us.
I'm guessing that he's in charge of distributing the guild-issued weapons, which are actual shit, so he doesn't get much work.
"... How may I help you two?" He tiredly asks while resting his chin in his palm.
"One Guild-issued spear and two daggers with sheaths, please." I cut right to the chase as Bell looks at me in confusion.
"... Alright." He gets off the counter and goes to get what I asked for as Bell turns to me.
"Why do you need the Daggers? I thought you wanted to use Polearms?" He asks in confusion.
"A backup weapon. Never know when my spear decides to give up on me, so having these on hand will be good in case something happens to my main weapon." I explain slowly as Bell gains a look of understanding and nods seriously.
"I'll make sure to get an extra weapon like you when I can." He promises as I smile and nod.
"... Good planning. Your total comes to 2600…" The man that was at the counter comments out of nowhere, spooking Bell as I put the Valis I just got on the counter in front of him while collecting my new spear and daggers.
I read on the contract that it was 5000 Valis, so I should have 2400 to spare.
He quickly weighs the bag before doing something behind the counter and handing me a lighter bag.
"Your change. Do you want anything else?" Wow. He just gave up on professionalism. Whatever, let the man get his rest or whatever.
"That will be all. Thank you for your help." I take the rest of the money and bow to him for half a second before moving to the exit with Bell following after bowing himself.
"Awesome! We're all prepared for tomorrow!" Bell happily announces as he punches the air in excitement.
"Well… Actually, yeah." I was going to get potions, but I realized that my measly 2400 Valis are nowhere near enough for even the lowest potion. Unless it's diluted, which then becomes basically useless unless I get a paper cut.
"Do you know anywhere I can get some vegetables, Bell? I wish to make a small meal for dinner in a few hours. Nothing too fancy." I ask Bell as he makes a thinking face.
"Well, I've only been in Orario for a couple weeks, but I passed a lot of food stands with vegetables and stuff. I never actually bought anything since I don't know how to cook and Lady Goddess doesn't either I don't think, so… Wait! You can cook?" Bell suddenly realizes my statement as his eyes sparkle.
Jesus Christ. Wait, Hestia… Chronos? … On second thought, I'm gonna stick with what I know.
"... Nothing too fancy as I've already said. I've got some Valis remaining and I'd like to get enough food to last us two days or so before we can go to the dungeon." I shake my pouch a little bit as Bell's face suddenly becomes determined.
"I also have some remaining from when I took a loan today. Let's put it together and buy something good!" He exclaims as he pushes the pouch into my chest.
"... Very well. Perhaps we can even buy some meat if we each throw our lot into this." I weigh his pouch compared to mine and see that they're roughly the same weight. That means we have 5000 Valis more or less.
I remember that a meal in the Hostess of something or something was like 500, so we should be able to get I'd say a week's worth of food with this.
"Awesome!" Bell looks like he's drooling already as he begins leading me down into the shopping district.
Poor Bell. Probably hasn't tasted homecooked meals in so long.
I stare at the sky to try and tell the time.
There are still a few hours of sunlight left, so not everyone has packed up to leave just yet.
I and Bell move around the district while picking various vegetables and fruit.
Gotta thank my mom for her knowledge when it comes to the quality of vegetables and fruit. Not to mention the fact that she was a Biology teacher and knew the best fruit for a balanced diet. God knows that Bell and I need it with how short we are.
I got Jap genes though so… Probably gonna be short forever.
We eventually pick up everything we need after an hour or two, and I manage to buy some meat and eggs for protein alongsid S.
"... We still have about two thousand Valis, would you like to have them, Bell?" I offer the pouch to him and he responds by shaking his head violently.
"No way! After all the work you did today and the effort you put in, I think you should have them!" He smiles at me brightly as I turn away while holding the grocery bags.
"... Let's put it as Familia money. Something that we can store together in case of emergency and to improve the familia overall. How about that?" I offer as his eyes light up.
"Yes! That sounds great!" He responds cheerfully as we finally step into the Church.
"Lady Goddess! We're home!" Bell yells out as a fucking missile makes its way through the basement and up the stairs before slamming into Bell.
"Damn. With that kind of speed, what the hell are we doing in the dungeon instead of you?" I mutter under my breath as I'm completely ignored by the Goddess glomping Bell and the man himself attempting to pry her off without ruining the groceries in his hand.
"Lady Goddess! Please, I have vegetables that I don't want to be destroyed in my hands!" He pleads as Hestia sits on his chest with a pout.
"I told you both to come back as fast as possible! It's been like 12 hours!" She loudly complains as Bell attempts to push her off.
"It's been 3 hours at most. We were getting groceries." I comment from in front of Hestia as I pick up the bags from Bell and begin heading down to the basement.
"Wait! Mike! SAVE ME!" Bell screams out as I completely ignore him in favor of heading into the basement and testing out the equipment in the kitchen.
It seems to be some high-quality stuff. It seems like Hephaestus wasn't cruel enough to leave Hestia with nothing.
I did read something like that before, I think. Somewhere.
I idly begin making something for dinner while humming, enjoying the background noise of Bell trying to escape Hestia.
Their relationship is adorable. Though it's quite weird how they've only known each other for a day I think, it's probably because how both of them were at a low point in their lives and found each other just as both of them were going to collapse.
Too bad Bell is a dumbass who doesn't think that mortals dating gods is a thing. Take the Goddess Waifu dumbass.
As the cultured big brother that I am, I will have to instill my wisdom into his brain later.
As I begin cutting some vegetables on a cutting board, I hear a loud crashing noise and look to see Bell, crashed on the ground face first.
Oof. I wince. Seems he slipped while running away and hurt himself.
"Belllll! Are you okay? Just stay right there, I'll kiss the pain away!" Hestia runs down the stairs at lightning speed before jumping to where Bell is just as he's about to begin running again.
I feel a smile finding its way to my face as I stare at their antics. I'm glad I picked their familia. I don't think I'd be able to find this type of entertainment anywhere else.
I continue humming and cooking for maybe an hour or so while glancing at what Bell and Hestia are doing every now and then, watching them go from brawling on the floor to excitedly talking on the couch before going back to 'wrestling' (read: Bell trying to pry Hestia off of him while she tries to not be pried off).
"... Settle down you two. I've finished, come help me set the table." I eventually order from the kitchen as Bell takes the chance to get away from Hestia and help me while Hestia begrudgingly gets up and follows.
"... Do you have any experience fighting monsters, Bell?" I ask as we sit down and begin to eat.
"Ah! Well, I've fought some of the goblins and kobolds that are outside the dungeon… so…" Bell admits with a nervous grin.
"... Good. Remember however that those are significantly weaker than the ones in the dungeon. I'd say that you were fighting a toddler out there, and the ones in the dungeon are an adult. That's the power difference between them." Bell and Hestia's eyes almost pop out of their sockets as I instruct Bell.
"That much of a difference? I knew that they were stronger but…" Bell has a pretty noticeable grimace on his face.
"It's better for you to know now rather than to get surprised later when in the dungeon." Bell hesitantly nods as Hestia angrily pouts in her chair.
"By the way. How will our sleeping arrangements go?" The duo froze at the question.
"BELL IS SLEEPING WITH ME ON THE BED!" "I'M SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR!"
I stare at them expressionlessly, hiding my grin behind my collar.
"Lady Goddess! There's no way I can sleep on the same bed as you! I can just sleep on the ground, I promise!" Bell looks at Hestia pleadingly as she shakes her head like her life depends on it.
"Absolutely not Mister! No way am I gonna let you sleep on the floor!" She denies immediately.
"Wh- Ah- B-" Bell starts having an aneurysm as I struggle to hold back my laugh.
I'm gonna be a great wingman.
"Bell, I believe you should sleep on the bed with our Goddess. Tomorrow is our first day, and it wouldn't be good for you to have any aches from sleeping on the floor." I instruct and Bell looks at me in betrayal before staring at the floor in defeat as Hestia gives me a giant thumbs up.
"I always knew that my newest child would be extremely competent!" Hestia's smile could not get any larger or scarier right now.
I stare at her without saying anything, not even needing lie detection to detect the amount of bullshit coming out of her.
"... I see. Very well, it seems that we've decided. I will clean up, you should begin preparing for bed." I get up and begin grabbing the dishes as I watch Hestia drag a defeated Bell into the bathroom.
How amusing.
[Time Release: Timeskip No Jutsu!]
As I wake up on the couch, I realize that, no, I was not dreaming yesterday.
I already knew I wasn't, but there was always that one chance of this being a freak fucking dream that lasted an entire day and felt like reality until it wasn't.
I get up and straighten my clothes as I stare at the closed door of Hestia's (and Bell's) room.
It seems I woke up first. I guess I should make something for breakfast.
As I start preparing for the day and cooking something really quick, Bell slams out of the room with a red face as he's holding his adventurer's clothes in his hands.
"... Good morning." I call out quietly with a tone of amusement as Bell jumps at my voice.
"A-ah! Mike! Good Morning to you too! I will be ready to leave in just a second- give me a minute!" He runs to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him loudly.
It seems he hasn't learned to be quiet when leaving yet. In the anime he was able to leave Hestia's grasp, change, equip all his armor and weapons, and leave the church all without waking Hestia up. Now…
"Who's being so loud when it's so early…" Hestia's grumbling voice sounds out as she walks out of the room just as Bell entered the bathroom.
"With all due respect, Lady Hestia…" I start with a deadpan as Hestia grumbles something about snarky children.
"Yes yes, it's Bell. I got it. Where is my Bell right now anyway?"
I keep my expression flat and stare at her as Bell opens the bathroom door and gets out, only to spot Hestia and immediately slam the door closed while re-entering it.
"... What did you do to him yesterday…?" She turns sheepish as she puts her index fingers together.
Dear god. The fucking cringe.
"Well… You know…" She squirms in place as I continue staring at her expressionlessly.
"... I don't. I don't think I want to know either. Come and eat your breakfast. I and Bell will be eating as we walk." I instruct her and place her food down while picking up two lunchboxes and moving toward the stairs.
"Bell, if you run up the stairs fast enough Hestia won't register your existence quick enough as she's distracted by food." I monotonously call out to Bell as the bathroom door slams open and a white blur makes its way out of the bathroom and up the stairs.
Hestia stares at me in shock and betrayal as I smirk.
"As amusing as it is to watch you both flirt, we have things to do." With one last look at her blushing face and sputtering denials, I make my way up the stairs and to the front of the church, meeting up with Bell on the way.
We walk in silence for a few minutes as we make our way through the streets and towards the Adventurer's Guild.
"You have your lessons with Miss Eina, correct?" Bell nods rapidly with a goofy smile on his face.
"Yes! It shouldn't take more than a couple minutes, so don't worry about having to wait for too long!" Oh… Poor you… You're gonna be there for an hour my friend.
"I understand. I will stay at the front of the Adventurer's Guild to wait for you. Take your time." Take his time he will indeed.
As he nods happily, we finally reach the Guild and I nod to him as he runs inside to talk to Eina.
Guess I now have to find something to do for an hour…
I sit on a bench outside the gigantic Guild building and stare at the people entering and leaving as I contemplate some things.
First of all, how the fuck do I stop targetting everyone with my Cursed Speech? Is it even possible? I don't remember if Toge was able to exclude someone from his commands or not.
Well, if there's a hole there's a way!
I don't think that's the right quote but I will stand by it nonetheless!
As I sit there, I begin channeling the nearby Cursed Energy and gathering it to where I am right now.
I can feel that there's a lot of it around. More than the average Negative energy you'd find in a normal modern city.
It makes sense though. In that place, death and fighting is not the norm like it is here.
Here, there are dozens of adventurers and citizens grieving over dead parents, siblings, and children every day as they wait and wait at the Guild hoping for a miracle, only to get nothing.
There are hundreds of adventurers who have lost their way and settled in their depression as they go through the motions, not knowing if they're ever going to escape mediocrity and become something more than another level 1 in the city.
The negativity… is overflowing. But it has NOTHING on the negativity that's coming from there…
The dungeon.
Jesus fucking CHRIST.
GO N.
I can barely sense the first floor from where I am, but DAMN. The people who say that the dungeon is alive are correct, it's alive. AND IT IS PISSED.
The amount of Cursed Energy flowing inside the dungeon is ridiculous. Rage. Wrath. Anger. It's Overflowing with a capital O.
No fucking wonder I have that one skill for Excelia and Cursed Energy. Just being in the dungeon means that I'm in the middle of a shit ton of Cursed Energy. It's like a bargain sale and Cursed Energy is hosting an all-you-can-eat, or all-you-can-gather, for Cursed Energy.
I continue moving the Cursed Energy inside me as I practice infusing and transporting it to every inch of my body.
I may have the body of Toge, but I am not about to be a Sorcerer back-line fighter. I'm gonna fucking be a Dragonborn, and my Cursed Speech is my Shouts.
With a fucking Warhammer (spear) in my hand I'm gonna smash and shout my enemies to oblivion!
The first step to do that is to begin infusing my Cursed Energy into weapons, like Yuta. That's how he learned to channel Cursed Energy outwardly anyway.
Gojo forced Yuta to practice infusing Cursed Energy into katanas to help him control the overflowing Cursed Energy inside him, and since my tank is about to overflow from how much it's gonna gather from the dungeon… This is a good way to train for me.
Eventually, the sounds of approaching footsteps wake me from my Cursed Energy control exercise that I'm doing as I open my eyes and look at a sheepish Bell.
"You are finished?" I ask simply as his blush increases.
"Yes! I apologize profusely for how late I am. I didn't think I'd need so much information for the first floor! Miss Eina had me memorize so much that time just passed and…" I put a hand up to stop him with a deadpan.
"I expected you to have to stay that long. Don't worry. Are you ready to go?" I get up from the bench I was sitting on and pick up my spear.
"Yes! I'm ready as I'll ever be!" He nods seriously at me as I nod back and we move.
My hands shake more and more as we get closer and closer to the Dungeon. Eventually, we reach the entrance to the dungeon, and my hands begin vibrating at an unnatural frequency.
"It's time…" I mutter under my breath as we go inside, and I feel the Cursed Energy overflowing in the dungeon surrounding me from all sides.
It's honestly scary. If I didn't have Toge's experience ingrained in me, I think I'd throw up just from being inside the dungeon.
Oh. Bell is throwing up.
I pat him on the back as he throws up the breakfast I just made him. I don't blame him.
The dungeon is… an intimidating place. The terrain is rocky and rough, the atmosphere is overwhelming and stifling, and I can feel the dungeon focusing on Bell and me now that we're inside of it.
It's angry.
Extremely angry.
Yet… it's limited?
I felt a huge amount of Cursed Energy being concentrated in a wall in front of us, yet only a small chunk of it was split and formed into something else.
I watch the wall I sense the concentrated Cursed Energy gathering in break and reveal a dog-like monster that I recognize to be a Kobold.
Was this dungeon trying to summon a Goliath on the first fucking floor or something?
I watch as the Concentrated Cursed Energy breaks and splits off into several more 'pieces' as more kobolds form from the smaller concentrations.
Oh… I've been so fascinated by the manipulation and gathering of Cursed Energy that I've just been standing here while a group of Kobolds spawned unobstructed.
I turn to look at Bell who's frozen in place while staring at the group of Kobolds.
"Bell. Cover your ears and stay behind me." I hope to god that this works the way I think it will, else this could be really bad.
His dilated pupils turn to stare at my back as I move to stand in front of him, and he hastily covers his ears as I ordered while shivering in fear.
"Get Twisted" I command.
They obey, and I watch in fascination as each Kobold gets twisted differently. The first has their head twisted violently as they fall to the ground and explode into a shadowy gas, leaving their magical stone behind.
The next has its right arm completely twisted, rendering it useless but avoiding a fatal injury.
The third gets the same treatment as the first as its neck twists in an unholy way as it also explodes into a shadowy gas.
The fourth loses its leg to the twisting as it loses its balance and falls to the ground.
Lastly, the fifth has it the worst as its torso is twisted and blood is spilled everywhere in sight for a second before dissolving with the rest of the body.
I watch in horrid fascination as the three dead kobolds dissolve and become concentrated cursed energy, then, they go to reenter the dungeon but are instead violently sucked into my body as I watch them enter and become part of me.
My reserves grew by a very minuscule amount but… they grew!
I can feel the dungeon's surprise and confusion as the energy doesn't return to it like it (presumably) usually does.
The surprising thing I notice though, it doesn't seem to be particularly angry about it.
I mean, I might be wrong considering how the concentration of Cursed Energy that was splitting into Kobolds just increased a hundredfold, but the overall anger and wrath still does not feel like it's directed at me specifically.
Though, what do I know? I'm no expert dungeon therapist.
I refocus on the two Kobolds as they scream in pain and growl angrily at me. I don't mind them and I turn my head to look at Bell.
He's fine! Hallelujah!
I made a theory that if I stood facing away from someone, had them cover their ears, AND I focused my Cursed Energy channeled in my Cursed Speech forwards only, I would not affect my Allies.
It seems to have worked, thankfully. I don't want to know what could've happened if that command affected Bell.
"Bell. I've eliminated 3 of them and disabled the other two. I believe this is a good time for you to fight your first battle against Kobolds in the dungeon." I monotonously speak out, breaking Bell out of his awed state as he looks at me with panic.
"What?! I can't handle two of them! I-"
"Bell." I cut him off. "They are the weakest monster in the entire dungeon. They are currently disabled, having either only one arm or one leg. I believe in you." I look him straight in the eyes as I speak to convince him.
He looks at me wearily as I notice that sweat has already begun forming on his forehead. His gaze slowly becomes more and more determined as he stares at the kobolds that were absolutely humiliated and he takes a deep breath.
Just as he was about to move though, the disarmed kobold decides that they'd had enough of being ignored and it starts running at me while I still have my back to it.
Fool.
"Watch out! Mike!" Bell calls out in a panic as he runs forward and passes me just in time to intercept the Kobold.
The Kobold angrily claws at Bell as he sloppily blocks it with his knife, his hand getting scratched as he gasps in pain.
The Kobold growls once again and tries to slash at Bell but Bell decides to try and dodge this time, which succeeds as he sidesteps the claw and hastily tries to cut the Kobold.
The attack nicks the Kobold's chest but otherwise fails to do any fatal damage as it screeches and lunges at Bell with its full body.
Bell fumbles and panics as he watches the Kobold and is only able to bring up his arm in defense before-
I take the opportunity to kick the Kobold back as it falls to the ground a couple feet ahead of us and roars in pain.
"You did well. Now try again. I will only intervene if you are at risk of a fatal injury. Next time, go on the offensive more and overwhelm it with your speed. It is your current greatest strength." I advise Bell as he looks at me in awe before turning to look at the Kobold with determination.
"Yes!" He yells out as he takes the offensive and slashes forward at the clumsily rising Kobold, cleaving a huge gash in its neck as it screeches in pain and anger and once again lunges at Bell with its full-size.
This time, however, Bell is prepared and jumps to the side, avoiding the Kobold projectile, making the Kobold fall face-first into the ground as it growls.
Bell doesn't give it the chance it needs and immediately lunges at its back before raising his knife high and piercing downwards, impaling its brain and killing it as it explodes and dissolves.
I watch in fascination as the Cursed Energy rises into the air before reentering the dungeon, much to its increasing anger.
Huh… so only I can absorb the Cursed Energy? Or at least to my knowledge.
"Mike… I did it!" Bell happily shouts out as he tiredly raises his arm into the air.
"Well… partly." I wryly point out as he looks at me in confusion.
"Bell, behind you."
Bell turns and looks around in confusion before hearing a growl and looking down to see the last Kobold, inches away from his kneecaps.
"AHHHH!" Bell screams out in fear and jumps back, just in time as the Kobold sloppily slashes at his ankles while it growls in anger.
"Be more aware of your surroundings, Bell." I instruct him with a smile as he sheepishly rubs the back of his head while staring at the Kobold that is 100 kilometers away from his location and rapidly approaching.
I notice that the leg of the Kobold has increased Cursed Energy Concentration around the toenail.
"Allow me to finish it off, Mike!" Bell moves around it and approaches it from behind before lunging and stabbing it through the neck cleanly.
It lets out a single gurgled screech before exploding, leaving only a magic stone and a disgusting Nail behind.
"Woah! A monster drop! That is extremely rare! This must be our lucky day. With this, our haul today has already become great!" Bell excitedly announces, unable to hide both his excitement and his fatigue from his voice.
"… Glad to hear that, as this will be your stop for today." I announce, making Bell look at me in shock.
"What? But we've just started! This was our first kill of the day!" I shoot him an unimpressed stare as he deflates and stops being loud.
"… Bell, you've had an intense last couple of minutes. You need a second after what just happened to process everything and make sure you are feeling well. All adventurers always need to stop and think after their first time, and I've heard many stories of people who had to leave the dungeon after their first kill. There is no shame in that." I speak with a no-nonsense tone as Bell squirms under my gaze.
"… fine… let's head back and cash these stones in." Bell begins picking up the magic stones while pouting as I hide my smile.
"Actually, you're heading back first. I still wish to encounter the goblins so I can see how powerful they are, and I haven't used my spear yet." I announce as Bell looks up at me in betrayal before pouting even harder and picking up the last magic stone.
"Fine. But I'll be expecting you in… an hour at most! Or else I'll match my way into the dungeon to bring you back!" He points his finger at me with serious eyes as I smile and nod.
"Very well. The entrance is a corner away, will you be fine going there on your own?" I watch his face turn dissatisfied at my question.
"Of course I can! We just walked through it." He glares at me, but it just looks like an angry bunny.
"I'll walk you there just in case." I announce as he almost looks offended before grumbling and beginning to walk to the exit.
I follow behind him with a smirk as I stare at the increasing Concentration of Cursed Energy in the walls around.
"It's gonna be a long day today…"
Link:https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14173236/1/Is-it-wrong-to-Speak-in-a-dungeon