eleven

It took a bit of humility, a bucket of courage, and mountains of determination for me to show up at Nozomi's front door, but I found a couple of good excuses.

A. I had been given permission from a teacher to bring Nozomi's assignments home to him, since he lived in the same direction as my place anyway.

B. He lived in the same direction as my place anyway.

C. I really wanted to see him.

I wasn't doubtful of what I would do or say in this situation, much to my own amazement. I had already planned out everything; this would be a short visit, but I reminded myself that a short and sweet stay was better than an unnervingly extended one.

I knocked on the door-softly, because a part of me wondered if he had decided to take an afternoon nap, while another part didn't even want him to hear me knocking. More than anything, I wanted to surprise him. So I took it upon myself to step across just one additional boundary and enter the house, which I felt certain was entirely empty save Nozomi.

I could tell right off the bat, all the lights in the building were off. A narrow hallway stretched a short distance till it met a wall, branching out to the left and to the right. I gingerly stepped out of my shoes, which I left directly where I stood upon entering, and made my way down the hall, turning left immediately at the sight of an open door. I didn't knock on that one, either.

Boy, am I bold today.

I closed my eyes for a split second, only to open them again to find Nozomi curled up on a futon with a pair of brightly colored headphones pressed against his ears. At the moment, his back was turned to me; he was completely unaware of my presence, though it was only a matter of time before that changed. I set his textbooks and absentee assignment sheet carefully down on the floor beside him, mentally bracing myself for a negative reaction before going in for the kill.

-and by that, I mean a hug.

It wasn't easy at first, but the moment Nozomi started to shuffle his movements at the sensation of another's presence looming over him, he made an attempt to sit himself upright, enabling me to fully imprison him in the warmth and comfort of my arms.

Nozomi's headphones slipped off of his head.

"I wrote my phone number on a sticky note," I informed him, giving the distraught and puzzled boy one last squeeze before pulling myself away. "It's attached to one of your-…ah, never mind, just hand me your phone."

I figured it would be a much simpler and reassuring process if I inserted the number personally-that way, I wouldn't have to fret over the possibility that maybe Nozomi would just trash the note without second thought. Nozomi, still dazed from the fact I was even here, didn't try to defend his privacy and allowed me to slip his phone out of his grasp. Even though the headphones were no longer around his ears, music was still playing on the device, and upon recognizing the familiar song title flashing on the lock screen, I unplugged the headphones.

"You listen to foreign music, huh?" I smiled warmly. "This is a pretty popular Russian lullaby, though I'm still a little surprised you listen to this kind of thing. I don't speak the language, but…"

The lullaby was slowly but surely coming to an end, the female vocalist's melodic voice trailing off after one last note, soft piano keys in a high octave carrying on what she had done till it came to a gentle stop. I knew this song well.

"…it's about the love of a mother, isn't it? Towards her son."

I hadn't expected a response from him, and yet I still found it rather disappointing when I didn't receive one. But I told myself to be patient with him. His eyes were stained red, cheeks dusted in a light shade of the same color, his hair appearing to have been thoroughly tousled, strands sticking up here and there like pieces of straw from a haystack. It would have been an adorable sight if the cause of it hadn't been Nozomi's unmistakable grief.

Sighing internally, I returned my attention to the phone in my hands so that I could insert my phone number. It should have been a quick and easy transaction, but unfortunately my eyes could not be diverted from the background image of Nozomi's home screen-my heart stopped beating momentarily, I was sure of it. I tried my best to shake off the initial shock of seeing both Nozomi and his sister…smiling, each with one arm slung over the other's neck, but it came as a near impossible task. They were at least several years younger in this picture. And they were both…genuinely happy. My hands trembled as I struggled to go forward with my plan.

"Here…my number is in your contact list now."

My mind's dial was rapidly swaying back and forth between stay and go, and I could feel the warmth of my chest skyrocketing as my heart started to beat even louder.

"Nozomi."

In this situation, I shouldn't have been showing weakness. When Nozomi was at his lowest point, I should have been able to be the pillar I wanted to be.

"Would you like me to stay?"

It struck me like a bullet to the brain, parting the clouds and waters and making the answer as clear as day.

"I'm going to stay here with you, Nozomi. There's no need for you to be alone."

And so I stayed. I didn't say anything, and I knew that I didn't have to. So long as Nozomi was aware of my presence, so long as he was aware…that I was beside him…it would be okay. His wounds would heal with time.

Just as mine did.