Thirty seven
37
I sat on the doorstep crying recalling our last discussion "I know you will take good care of the baby and charlie" I weep harder "have forgiven you for everything and I promised not to sue you" she had said on that fateful day which I never knew she was saying goodbye to me. She even went shopping for me and showed me love. She was there for me any slight chance or opportunity she has even when she's not around she makes sure her maids take care of me and there I was having affair with her husband even had sex with him under her roof when she's around or not.
I cried to the extent that my tear gland was dry but couldn't get up from my position till Mia arrived and picked me up "what happened to you lilly?" She asked concern which I begin to weep again
"I betrayed her trust and cheat on her with her husband now she's gone without me seeking for her forgiveness" I wiped
"Shhhh who is gone?"
"Vivian" I said
"What?" She shouted
"Vivian is dead Mia I killed her"
"Shhhh you didn't kill her"
"I did because" I couldn't continue because Mia covered my mouth with her hand
"Get a grip of yourself and calm down. You're crying the baby is crying who will I attend to, wipe away your tears and breastfeed the baby "
"I can't "
"Are you insane or what?" She asked "the baby knows nothing and you won't involve him in your predicament so it's better you feed him before you kill him of hunger" she shouted angrily handing the baby over to me which I collected to breastfeed him. I begin breastfeeding him but couldn't stop crying because I know charlie is out there roaming about worried and blaming himself just like me there and then I know I still love him despite everything
"You have to stop crying because what's done is done and you can't bring back the past nor change it"
"I know" I whispered
"I'm sorry that you have to go through this but I know even Vivian is alive she wouldn't have blamed you for what you can't predict nor see. So please take heart and embrace your child because you're all he has" which I didn't say anything rather I just sat there listening to her. She continue saying soothing words to me that I slept off due to exhaustion
The next day I wake up feeling headache and my eyes are heavy which I know it's all because of the crying I tried to get up but couldn't "easy there" I heard Mia voice " let me help you up" she said helping to seat up right on the bed before handing the glass cup to me "take some water" she said which I did because I'm too exhausted to argue I drank the cup of water before she held me and take me to the toilet where i baths and brush my teeth feeling a little bit relaxed I dressed up while Mia attend to Rafael
"Than you mia" I quietly murmur which she just smiled at me and continue dressing Rafael up "Thank you for being there for me always" I said a little bit audible
"Shh I'm doing it for myself so just feel at ease, everything is destined to happen which can only be delayed but it's inevitable. Vivian's death is not your fault because she has been suffering from glioblastoma without her finding out on time. When she found out she decided to keep it a secret even from her husband to prevent him from worrying so please stop blaming yourself for everything" Mia pointed out which I sighed and continued eating. Mia couldn't go for work which she called in sick just to be with me. We spent the day together and Mia didn't leave until she saw I was back to my normal self which I'm glad she did but deep down I was worried about Charlie not knowing what situation he is in now but I couldn't bring myself to call him even though I am sick and worried for him. That's how I stayed for a couple of days
Sam always come back home with different kind of shopping bags for Rafael which I think his spending way too much and I don't like extravagant life so I decided to wait for him to come back today and talk some sense into him because his still a baby and can't use all the toys and things his buying everyday when he comes home.
I waited for Sam to arrive but didn't say anything to him when he entered. At least I should let him eat and rest for a while because even today he has another shopping bag with him. He finished eating and came to join me in the sitting room " how was work today?" I asked trying to start a conversation
" so hectic that all my body ache"
"Sorry try and bath with hot water you will feel a little bit relaxed"
"Thanks"
"Humm so Sam" I started but keep quiet
"Humm" he said telling me his listening
"Don't You think you're spending way too much on things Rafael won't be able to use now at least let him grow up a little more than you can continue but stop it for now please" I pleaded at the end knowing full well Sam might take it the other way round especially when it has to do with Rafael
"Humm okay, I have heard you but that doesn't mean I will stop buying things entirely," he said and walked out on me leaving me wide open. Sam will never cease to amaze me. I picked my phone and decided to call charlie today but too my surprise the phone was switched off which is unlike him because he never off his phone which only means his still mourning after his wife
I decided to move on with my life seeing I have nothing to mop over "Hello Mrs Adams" I greeted immediately I set my foot inside her office
"Hi lilly I'm glad to see you" she said getting up to give me a hug which I returned
"Thank you ma"
"But I think you still have a month before your resumption?" She asked which I nodded
"Yes I do but I fit to resume work already ma"
"If you insist but you have to go back and return fully on Monday that's why it's better" she said, which I had no other option than to do as I was told so I left. I was about to open the car door when someone block my path which I look up to see who it was but to my greatest surprise it's kelvin
"Kelvin" I said surprised to see him
"Yes lilly I'm the one" he said turning around to give me his perfect view
"I'm glad to see you again" I said embracing him in a tight hug which gladly returned
"Same here. So how have you been?" He asked moving back a little bit
"I'm fine and you"
" same here just missed you alot" he confess which I just smiled "so where is our baby " he asked to which I couldn't help but laugh
"Our baby is fine" I decided to play along so he won't feel somehow
"Glad to hear that. So I hope I can still get you back since you have given birth already because that's the reason you couldn't have a thing with me" he said straightforward
"Humm its" I didn't know what to say because seriously I totally forgot about him telling me he will wait for me till I give birth which on the long run I fell over heel in love with my crush
"Don't tell me you have forgotten about it?" He asked sadly
"It's not what you think" I tried to say
"Then what is it?" He asked
" It's a long story but all I have to say is that I am sorry and I mean it. You know I warned from the beginning that we shouldn't get to attached"
"I know and understand don't worry" he smiled sadly
"Thank you"
"I hope I'm welcome to come and see the baby. What's his name?"
"Rafael" I replied " and yes you can" to which I gave him my address and number in case he couldn't find the place
"See then" and he walked out while I waited for awhile before entering the car to leave
I arrived home in no time which I changed into something comfortable before going to the kitchen to cook since no one was around. I cooked spaghetti and sauce, which is the easiest option, almost done with rearranging things. When I heard the door being open with force, I quickly cleaned my hand to see who it was but stopped in my tracks seeing how Mia looked before rushing to her "Mia what happened? what's wrong?" I asked alarmed seeing her like this is something I haven't seen for a decades
"He cheated on me" she said crying which I know it's no other than her stupid fiance she couldn't leave but seeing her in this condition I couldn't blame her
"Shhh everything's gonna be alright" I tried to comfort her
"No, nothing is gonna be alright. I find him on my bed naked with another girl fucking her and shouting" she cried " he never fucks me like that I have to drug him or pleaded with him before he fuck me the way I want but he has the guts to bring someone into my house" she shouted
"Shhhh I just hope you didn't do anything rational?" I asked praying she didn't
"I break a bottle on his head and beat the he'll out of the fucking bitch" she confess
"Oh god Mia why will you do such a thing? Aren't you scared of the repercussions?"
"I don't care. I hate him lilly "
"It's okay baby girl. Everything is gonna be alright" I said, placing her head on my lap saying sweet words to calm her down which works because she started sleeping in no time but I didn't wake her. I sat in that position until I heard a knock on the door and quietly get up not to wake her up before going to see who it is and it's none other than kelvin
" thought you will be coming some other day"
"At Least let me in first"
"Oh sorry come inside please" and he did with different bags in his hands
"So yes I didn't want to come some other time because I can't wait to see my baby" he answered which I smiled
"And you're not lucky because they are yet to come back I replied"
"Oh" he said a little bit disappointed
"Don't worry I know wherever they are now they are on there way coming back"
"Alright I will wait for a little while" he said while I smiled and walked inside the kitchen to get him some refreshments. I returned shortly with tray on my hand which I dropped it on the table close to him
"Feel at home" I said which Mia wake up at that same time which she almost fall from the chair and kelvin was fast enough to hold her
"Thank you" she murmured trying to get away but guess kelvin isn't through staring at her until I cleared my voice trying to hold my laughter in place
"You're welcome" he answered moving back to his seat but he couldn't take away his eye from Mia
"Let me freshen up" Mia said getting up to avoid the look kelvin is giving her which I didn't blame her because she just went through a heartbreak not long ago
"Please do entertain yourself" I said to bring kelvin back to his sense which he smile awkwardly while I press my phone
"Lilly" I heard my name which I know the voice already without looking and I know he's going to cause a scene