married life

"I am engaged", while happily showing my ring in front of everyone in the church having my testimony. "We agreed that we will going to live in Japan after the wedding. Ah… the ceremony will also held there on seventh of April because it is spring in there. We agreed that we will still continue our professions and doing what we want like going to places but this time we are together"

This is the wedding that I have been dreaming of. I can't believe that it all came true. I can't describe how happy I am right now that my smile didn't go off my face since last night that I can't even sleep for too much excitement and nervousness at the same time. I finally got a chance to take a picture with you, just the two of us. I have been wishing for the opportunity since we were kids and after how many years, it finally happened. Our picture together and it is our wedding photo. No matter how much I avoid and push you away, you will still be with me forever. I know that I said any man would do but you. Yet God do really plan mysteriously, I know that His plan will be the best for us. If in novels or in romantic movies, the main characters story end up in marriage and live happily ever after. Well on us, this is just the beginning.

We bought a two-story house and gave a color to it. We watched animes and horror movies together. Go to church and attend choirs. You played piano on my not so beautiful voice that you used to tease when we are practicing a choir in college. We went on picnics and different adventures during our day offs. You serenade me every morning and cook for me. You can handle my imperfections and change of moods very well. You are like a mother always reminding me to take my medicines and remind my schedules for check-ups. You know what to make me smile like a simple ramen would do. You always buy me gifts even there is no special occasions. You know how much I like surprises and you never failed to give me one every time. Because of you I love myself even more and you proved me how much you do.

We do the things like any couples do because we didn't get a chance and immediately got married. Yet even though, you court and serenade me every day, you take me out on dinner when you are free from work and give me gifts and surprises and greeting me with a kiss every morning and at night.

"It is kicking. He is kicking" I said holding this big tummy of mine and you also. "He must be very jolly like you. Do you already think of a name?" "I wished that it would be a twins, a boy and a girl then I'll name them Kagura Psalm Genesis and Illumi James Timothy or if not I want two boys even they are not twins and I will name the other boy, Levi Titus Jeremiah" "Do you think that was too long for a name? You will make them suffer. "But I want a Japanese name and at the same time a biblical one" "Okay fine, let's give them that name" Then you hugged me tight while we are both sitting on the sofa. We prepared so much for this coming baby. You know that it might be our first and last chance to have one because it is difficult for me to bear a child. I am suffering since I was teen from polycystic ovary syndrome that makes me drink medicines and coming in and out in the hospital. You know that there are smaller chances of producing a baby because it will make me suffer. I am sorry that I am like that. I am sorry that I cannot give you a big happy family like you do. I know that we will give all our love and care to this child. I know that we will make every day special to him. I know that you will love him like your father love you.

Seven years had pass and the child grow healthy and handsome young man. Even we already have him, we still do the usual. Our hobby when we are together and this time there are already a three of us. He was our world, an everything for us. We make him live to the fullest and happiest he could be. He recharged us when we are tired from work and make us smile automatically every time. He was a child I never dream I would have. He inherited your handsome face and your brain. I know that he would be successful someday like his father and keeps on doing what he wants. He is a king and he should know that he's a royalty. He is one in a million and a gem, a precious gem that we treasure.

We went on the amusement park to celebrate his eight birthday. He wanted to go there for a long time so on his birthday we gave it to him. Words are not enough to describe when I saw how happy he was as he ran inside. Smiles are mark on our faces watching him running around for too much excitement and exploring the place and trying different rides. We also ate foods there and try all the rides and went on all the booths. I know that he's a young independent man that he knows already what is right and wrong, he reminds me too much of you when we were kids, you are just like him. He fall asleep at the backseat of the car when we are on our way home. We smiled at each other looking at him on the rearview mirror that he is too tired running around the whole day that makes him fall asleep immediately as soon as he lean on the chair of the car.

For the first time in seven years, he finally met his grandparents when we went on our home country. They are really fun of him yet they don't understand him along with his cousins because they have different languages. I am thinking of teaching him English as his second language so that at least they can communicate. Although he knows a little native language for we are speaking that or using that when we were alone in the house.

His cousins invited him for going to the mall and different places like the park with him. It is already his chance to get close to them so I let him go with them. I know that they will take good care of them especially that he is not familiar to the place. I am looking forward to his stories when he get home, I know he had a lot to tell me because he is that kind of kid. He always tell me how his day is or how it is going even when he went to school or on trips. He makes sure that I will never miss a thing about what is happening to him. So while he is away, we couple also used the time to spend for just the two of us for the other people have different agendas to attend to.

It is already dark when they get home with their heads down. "Where is Timothy?", I asked to them. Then they started crying as my heart beats fast. My knees weakened when I heard one of them says, "Sorry Auntie, we are having so much fun and we didn't realized that he is not already with us" I immediately ran outside the house to look for him and the adults followed. You are keep on calling my name but my mind is too occupied and my eyes are starting to get blurry as you hold my hand and turned to you. You wiped my tears with both of your hands. "He is not familiar with the place and he can't speak the language" I am already in so much panic when you are looking at me with those calm eyes. "We will find him" I don't know but those words calm me and comforted me. The next when we went to the police station, we found him there with the police officers.

I went on the backyard to call the two of you for dinner. You two are busy playing basketball when I came out and just stopped when I called. You are showering in your own sweat, the two of you so I immediately went to get the towel to wipe those sweats and told you to stop playing already because you might get sick and I already heated a water for your bath. I also tell the kid to finish his homework. Then the three of us entered to eat dinner then you went to take a bath.

James Timothy is already in high school when we are blessed to have another boy, he is Titus Jeremiah. When we went on a picnic on the peak of spring season. The two kids are enjoying playing around while I prepare the foods we brought and you are looking for a space to park your car. I sat after that to view the blooms of the cherry trees around us when I suddenly heard a people screaming. My heart suddenly beat fast for an unknown reason and like it was an adrenaline to run where the screaming are without thinking. I first saw Timothy beside the road with the other group of people. I look around where is Titus until my eyes reached a child lying on the ground, at the center of the road. I am gasping my own breath as I walk slowly to that kid on the ground. Timothy is crying ran to me saying sorry but I ignored him and continue walking and looking at the unconscious kid. I am already crying sitting on the ground with his head on my lap when you came. After a while, the ambulance came.

I thought that he will not going to wake up again for there are a lot of blood that he lost. It is been months that he stayed in the hospital unconscious, they even ran an operation for him. I am starting to give up crying every night when you pull my head to lean on your shoulder while I am praying on the chapel inside the hospital. Just like when our first child got lost, you are still look very calm. I never saw you got panic nor cried. Well, except when we were kids, you cried a lot that time but not as much as I do. "He will be okay. I know he is. He is your son, he is strong" then I hugged you tight as I cried louder.

I almost got sleep leaning on your shoulder while crying when Tim came calling us saying that Titus is already awake. The three of us ran into his room and there we saw with his eyes fully open. I sit beside his bed, hold his hands and kissed the back of it. I can't describe how happy I am that he is already awake. The doctor came in to check him up. He said that the kid is already recovered and safe yet he still needs rest and take medicines.

Both of them grew as a nice young man, they are really like a carbon copy of their dad because they not just got his face but also his brains and talent. They grow up and attend college. Just like any other teen agers in this age or generation, there are times that they having crushes and falling to the girls with the same age. Yet I don't allow them to get into a relationship already. First, they are still young and have a great dreams ahead of them. I am not saying that having a romantic relationship when they are still student is something that is bad but we are a Christian people and no believer would do that. Let them reach the top of their dreams first and do whatever they want as a young people as long as they know their limitations and building a relationship will be the last. Of course they are my kids so I only want the best for them, thank goodness that they are understandable young boys and on their young age they already know their priorities.

I am scanning our old photos especially our wedding photos when you came and sit beside me with a two cups of milk on your hand at the living room. "Time really fly so fast. It was just like yesterday when we are arguing, teasing and chasing at each other then now we are already married and have two boys" "That time, I don't have an idea that it was you will I spend my whole life with" "Me too" as I leaned to you and the children came from school.

The four of us scan the photo album laughing and reminiscing the day they were born. I hope that we can be like this forever. Those smiles I am looking at right now will never fade.

I called home saying that I will be home late. Your son is so excited when he answered the phone and he looks like rushing that he wants to finish the call already. When I got home, the house is dark so I wonder why. Maybe it is black out but it is our only house who is black out since the other houses have lights. It seems so quiet that makes me nervous a little when I opened the door and I can't see anything. I searched for the light and the moment I turned the switched on, I almost got a heart attack when the three of you shouts surprise at the same time. The house has decors and a letters in the center saying, 'Happy Birthday Mom' while you walk towards me holding a cake with a lighted candle on it as the three of you sang happy birthday. I almost forgot that it is my birthday today for I am so busy these past few days finishing a new book.

I make a wish then blow the cake. Honestly, I don't have something to wish because all of my dreams already came true. There is nothing I could wish for more. Maybe a world peace hahaha. "Who make the decorations?" "Us", the kids answered in chorus. "Mom, I cooked the pasta. Taste it" "Mom, I grilled the meat" "How about you, what did you do?" I asked to you. "I ordered the pizza and the cake" you answered. I glared at you as you smiled at me and kissed my forehead then whispered happy birthday to my ears.

My youngest brought out his gift first. I opened it in front of all of us and it is a necklace. It is simple yet gorgeous. "Thank you sweetie" "You like it mom?" "I love it" "Mom, opened mine too" The oldest said as he give me his also. Like what I did, I opened his also and it was a dress. "I know that kind of dress is your type" "Thank you too sweetie. I'll wear this on Sunday" "Hon, I'm sorry. I am too busy for work and I don't have a time to buy you gift" I admit that I am a little bit sad when you said that yet I faked a smile. "It is okay. I am already happy enough for what you did and the boys' gifts is enough" It is true, this kind is one of the wish of all wives, to get surprised by their husband and kids on their birthdays.

I am about to sleep already when you called my name. I asked what is it and it seems you are getting something from the bottom of the closet. You switched the light on and what appears in front of me is a huge box that is wrapped. "Do you really think I forgot to buy you a gift? How would I forget a special day like this" "Awww…thank you" It makes me feel weak that little things like this makes me teary yet happy. I immediately opened the box and in my amazement my jaw dropped. My eyes are shining and I can't believe on what I am looking at right now. Is this even real? "H…how do you know?" "What is there that I don't know" you said smiling at me. Those are the complete volumes of the book I am looking for so long. I can't believe that you found them when I already went to different bookstores to look for them. You don't know how happy this makes me. I am very thankful to have you. I am very thankful to you and your unending love.

My hairs are starting turning gray and my skin starts to wrinkle yet you still look at me like I am the prettiest. You still don't fail to make me feel special everyday like I am the luckiest girl leaning in your arms. You still hold my hand and we danced with the soft music in the living room like we are in a prom or a college ball saying how beautiful I am. When we woke up every morning you walk with me on the park watching the sun rises and greet me a morning kiss on my forehead. Our boys are starting to build their own careers and living their own life and building a family. They are not living with us anymore but I know that they still be thinking of us by calling us every day and sending us gifts with the picture of our grandchildren. We still go on picnics and watched the stars at night. We are like a high school students eating street foods together and holding hands on public. I don't regret that I say yes that day. I don't regret that it was you even I pushed you away so many times before.

You still cook my favorite dish and give me surprises whenever you got a chance, kiss on the forehead and say how gorgeous I am wearing a dress. There are times we argue even at the start of our married life, we can't avoid that. Couples normally argue and can't agree on one thing yet you never lie beside me at night still sulking at each other. You know how much I like ice cream that it is my weakness when we are in quarrel. You know how much I love listening to you playing the piano and smiling at me like we are still young. We still watched horror movies at night leaning in your arms while eating our favorite snack. When I am slow you are there. I know that I am safe when I am with you. I know I am the pretties in your eyes. And I know that I am the woman who will be with you for eternity. You always compliment my song even we both know that my voice is not that pretty that you always tease me when we are practicing a choir at the church way back in our college.

You still give me chocolates and flowers on valentines and blew our cake together on our anniversaries. You still give me fluffy stuffs that you know how much I like them and read me my books that you even build a library for them. You still push me on the swings and hold my hand on slides like we are kids playing on the park. You still choose a shoe for me to wear and brush my teeth when my hands are getting numb. You still shampoo my hair and comb them even I have too many hair falls and I am getting bald. You still remind me of my medicines and carries me on the bed even your back is in pain. You still open the doors of the car for me. You still say how much you love me with no special reasons and we still took a drive on weekend. You still listen on my nonsense stories and you still massage my hands. You still call me love and give me a candle light dinners. You still pat my head and wipe my tears when I am overthinking. You still make me walk on cheery leaves that makes me remember the day we exchanged I do's. You still are the same man I used to live since I was five.

My two boys came immediately as soon as I called them when I said that I rushed you in the hospital early in the morning. I was crying silently in the corridor of the hospital when they came and hug me. After a while, the doctor came out and he said that you are suffering from an Alzheimer's. I cried on my boys arms of a thought that you might already forgotten me. All these times, all these years since we were kids you are taking good care of me so this time it is my turn, let me be take good care of my king.

Every morning I had tears on my eyes whenever you woke up and ask me who I am. I am holding you tight for the fright of losing you when we are outside the house even you are letting me go. I cook your favorite dish even it is not perfect as what you are doing. I brush your teeth and shampoo your hair even you are getting angry at me like a child who doesn't want to take a bath. You pushed me away when I lean on your arms watching horror movies at night. You don't share your ice cream and saying me to get out of the house. I can only hug you at night and kiss you when you are sleep cause once your eyes opened again in the morning, you will not recognize me again.

I remember the tears I shed and the words you said when our first child got lost so many years ago. And now I am feeling the same felling I got on that moment when I woke up one morning and you are not already by my side. I searched the whole house and you are not already there. I call your name as I walked outside the house asking the people passing by if they saw you. I am starting to cry again when two hours had passed and I can't see even your shadow. I sat on the bench on near the park to take a rest for a while. My eyes are blurry for I didn't brought my eyeglasses yet I can still see an old man from not so far playing on the swing. I move closer to make sure and I sigh as I flashed a smile feeling so relieved that it was you. I hugged you in so much happiness while you are playing to the kids and hold your hand as we go home together.

Every weekend your sons with their wives and kids are visiting to take care of you and play with your grandchildren. I play you a piano even I am not good with it by hoping that you will remember our love story. I hold your hand to dance on the living room at night like we are teen agers. This time I make you drink your medicines and pat your head to sleep. We still blow our candles on our anniversaries and I give you gifts on valentines. Even you don't recognize me anymore but I will still choose you ever and over again. You are my childhood friend and my forever lover.

I still write stories at night when you are already sleeping and this time, it was our story. I am stopping my tears as I remembered those old days and questions are keep on flashing on my mind. What if we didn't meet on the airport that time and I married one of those crushes that I have when I am a teen ager. What life would I be I have now and your ex-fiancé didn't died on the accident, will you still choose me? I am not good at everything and I am lack on that everything yet you came and filled those holes like I am as perfect as you. I thought after graduating elementary, I won't see you again yet after two years we saw each other again. Even we are not classmates and you live far from us, we still see each other during summers and holidays. I still have a contact with you even we are not that close like we used to. Of course, we are grownups already and everything had change.

I still remember those hates that turns into love. Those fresh days that I am pissed when we live on the same roof and all you do is to tease me. When we got married, you still give me a water to drink when my eyes are teary when slicing onions. You still reached those plates above for me and we still washed each other's underwear. You still tease me whenever you got a chance and still feed me ice cream.

I am writing our life story now I don't know why what pulls me to do this but I just want to remember this until the end and I want you every little things we do know that you are already starting to forget everything, I want to remind you every single thing especially how I love you. I am writing this for our kids and grandchildren and their kids and grandchildren knows how their great grandparents have a wonderful life story even it is like on what you read on books or watched on the televisions yet I like my own version of fairy tale and this is the real meaning of they live happily ever after.

I know that wherever you are right now, you are listening to me looking from above as I put your favorite flower on the grave where your name is written. Always remember that I love you and that will never change. You are my king, my prince charming on a white horse who rescued me on a tower or gave me a kiss to wake up on reality. I already don't need a magic mirror to tell me how pretty I am because you always remind me of that. I don't need to attend a magic ball or a fairy god mother to find a true love nor a seven dwarfs or a magic carpet. I don't have a voice that enchanted the whole forest and make the animals sing. I don't need to kiss a frog or got poisoned by a witch. I don't need a tail to swim at the deeper of the sea. I don't need a story who came from the children's book to meet my soul mate when what I have is real. My story doesn't need to start on a once upon a time to have a happily ever after because having you is already a happy ending for me and your love for eternity.

Especial thanks to:

Ienne Santos

The End