Chapter 14

Jake and Sophia were also invited to "Louis’ party at Chris' house" as everyone called it, so I have to pick them up around eight. Jason is driving, since I was planning on drinking together with Niall, which meant that I wouldn’t be able to drive myself home, because I wasn’t planning on staying over.

I am dressed in a white skirt with a matching tank top, my silver Zanotti heels, and to top it off, with a white bomber jacket.

"Jasoooon, are you ready?" I yell from my room as I finish the last touches of my makeup.

"Just a minute!" he screams back, so I put my phone and my cigarette pack in my clutch, before I sling it over my shoulder and exit my room.

Jason and I meet downstairs, because I made myself a sandwich really quick so I wouldn’t get drunk as easy as I would’ve on an empty stomach.

We pick up Jake and Sophia, who are really excited to go to the party, since they haven’t been to one for a week (note the sarcasm). I know that I should be studying or something, because it’s my last year of school, but finals are so far away I can’t even be bothered. Plus with everything that’s been going on, I can’t even bring myself to focus on learning something.

We arrive at Chris' house around half past eight, which means that just a few people have arrived, since no one comes to a party earlier than an hour after it was supposed to start.

Chris and Louis are already inside, together with Kyle and Poppy, but that’s about it, which means that it’s time for pre-drinks.

"What’s the occasion for the party?" I ask Louis as he pours me a cup of Vodka and cranberry.

"The occasion is that we want to drink but we need a reason."

"Which is drinking." I conclude and he laughs, nodding.

"So how are things with you and Christopher?"

He doesn’t seem surprised by the question, which means he was expecting for it to come up eventually.

"Things are good."

"Are you guys gonna get together? Wait, have you two made out yet?"

Louis blushes, which is something I’ve never seen him do before, and shakes his head, much to my disappointment.

Someone calls him from the living room so he leaves me alone in the kitchen to drown my sorrows in Vodka.

"You’re gonna die in those you know." Niall says as soon as he enters the kitchen and his eyes land on my shoes.

He’s wearing a white jumper and black skinny jeans, with matching Vans.

"You’re the only guy I know who looks at a girls’ shoes and not her boobs."

He opens his mouth, but I talk instead: "Yeah, I know, know you’re going to joke and say that I don’t have boobs."

Niall frowns. "I was going to say that I like your taste in shoes."

"What?"

"The sneakers you wear to school, I like them."

"Oh."

"They’re expensive." He says and I nod.

"My mother buys them for me to make up for the fact that she’s never home." I tell him and I take another large gulp from my drink, which empties the cup.

He refills our drinks (when did he drink it?) and tells me that as of this moment we’re going to drink the exact same things, which also means that we have to sort of stick together. I don’t mind it at all, which is new.

"Want to go outside for a smoke until this place fills up?" he suggests and I nod, so I follow him on the back porch where we both lean against the railing.

He lights up my cigarette first. "You’re my bitch now." he says before he lights his own.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"If someone lights your cigarette means you’re their bitch. It’s something I heard in ninth grade, I don’t know." he laughs, and now I notice that he might just be high.

"You’re an idiot, you know that, right?" I say and take a drag from my cigarette, which I almost forgot about.

"Shot?" he asks after a while and holds his cup up.

"Sure."

We down the last remains of our drinks and I scrunch my nose, because the drink was more Vodka than cranberry. I know that two more drinks will get me tipsy, if not only one, which is not good, because I’ve seen Niall down ten shots and not even blink.

"You look good by the way." Niall suddenly says and I look up at him through the smoke.

"What?" I ask, wondering whether I heard him correctly.

"You heard me, I won’t repeat it. One compliment a week, that’s all you get." He says and I snort.

"Oh please, like I’m supposed to be honored or something?"

"You should." He says and comes closer. I notice it immediately, but act like I haven’t.

"So…do you want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous?"

"He’s not…he’s not my ex." I whisper, moving the hand that’s holding the cigarette so I won’t burn him.

"You sure?"

He cocks his head to the side, which makes him so attractive I can’t even.

"You’re high." I notice, looking into his red eyes.

"Just a bit."

I shake my head and he places his head on the back of my neck, which, okay?!

"You’re a bit close." I tell him, placing my hand on his chest, softly gripping into the material of his sweater.

"You don’t seem to mind." He retorts, and damn it, he’s right. I hate him.

I drop my cigarette and he seems to notice the motion, because he does the same.

"Yeah but…I do." I lie, and he sees right through it.

"No you don’t." Niall argues and suddenly brings me towards his mouth.

My mouth opens before our lips even touch, and we’re kissing.

His hands fall down to my waist and he pulls me closer into him, deepening the kiss, which sends shivers down my spine. I step backwards so I’m leaning against the railing, and I try to stand up on my tiptoes to be closer to him, even though I’m already wearing four-inch heels.

Niall’s kisses aren’t as rushed and as sloppy as Jasper’s, they’re slower and deeper and turn me on like nothing else has done before.

I ran my hand through his hair, and before he can grip into my waist and lift me up onto the railing, someone slides the door open.

"Uh…" Sophia says, and we both pull away from each other, causing me to nearly lose my balance.

"What?" I ask, as if nothing happened.

"Jasper is here and asked where you are." She tells me, and looks at me with the ‘we-are-SO-going-to-talk-about-this’ look.

I nod and wipe my mouth as Sophia walks back inside.

"Well, that’s not good." I say and look at Niall, who just shrugs.

To be honest, I just want to make out with him a little more, but instead I straighten up and walk inside to talk to my…ex boyfriend.

My lips still burn from the kiss with Niall as I go back inside. Why the fuck did I decide to talk to my "boyfriend" when I could’ve just stayed outside and continue making out with a guy I presumably hate?

"Where is he?" I ask Sophia, who still looks like she might be in shock by what she just saw outside.

"We-uh…I saw him in the kitchen before I…before I walked outside and saw you and fucking Niall kissing?" she asks.

"Shh!" I hush her and look around, in case anyone heard her. "Keep your voice down. I don’t want people to know."

"Then you shouldn’t kiss him on the back porch, where everyone goes?" Sophia sarcastically says and guides me towards the kitchen. "Are you and Jasper over? Are you just on a break? May I remind you about the Ross and Rachel break from FRIENDS?"

I roll my eyes. "I don’t know what we are and Niall is just…there."

"So he’s your rebound? Or your newest crush?"

I shake my head as I scrunch my nose. "He’s definitely not my crush. That’s for sure."

She squints her eyes at me as we enter the kitchen, where I find Jasper leaning against the counter and talking to Louis. As soon as he makes eye contact with me he stands up straight. "I was looking for you."

"I know. That’s why I’m here. What is it?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I want to talk to you."

"So talk."

He looks around at the people in the kitchen who are just minding their own business. "Not here."

"Then where?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

"Outside. C’mon."

I sigh and follow him back outside on the back porch, where Niall’s still smoking, this time with another girl I recognize from my English Lit class. Niall and I make a short eye contact before I avert my eyes to look at Jasper who leans against the railing and pulls me closer to him.

"I’m sorry." Is all he says and I’m not sure how to react.

"For what?" I ask as he places his hand on the back of my neck.

"For everything."

"Be more specific."

He sighs and rolls his eyes, which lets me know that his ego is bleeding right now.

"For lying to you and for being a fucking asshole and for neglecting you. You know I love you and I’d never wanna lose you, right?" he asks, looking at me with his big brown eyes that used to make my knees weak. But right now, all they do for me is making me nauseous.

"I don’t. Really, I don’t. I told you I needed a break."

"But it’s been days…" he trails off. "I miss you."

I swallow and look at Niall for a split of a second out of the corner of my eye.

"So? I feel way too betrayed to even…I can’t. Not right now I can’t. I’m sorry."

Jasper looks like he’s about to cry and I feel like my heart is breaking, but I deserve better. Even though that ‘better’ would mean Niall and being friends with benefits…it’s still better than constantly worrying about my relationship with Jasper.

"Please don’t do this." he says, pulling my closer by the back of my neck.

I look down at his shoes because I can feel tears welling up in the corners of my eyes and I don’t want him to see that he’s not the only one who’s hurting.

"I just. I need space. I need to think about it." I tell him and finally look up at him.

"But…you’ll think about us? Getting back together."

I nod, because how can I not? I can’t just throw a year old relationship in the trash.

My answer seems to be good enough for him, because he tells me that he’ll get us something to drink and that he’ll find Louis to share a spliff.

I watch his back as he disappears inside and then turn to look at Niall, who sends the girl off to God knows where.

"Nice." Is all he says and crosses his arms.

"What." I say.

"I thought it was over."

"It is over. I just need time to tell him that."

Niall shakes his head. "You wont."

"And how the hell do you know that? Are you the new relationship guru or something?"

"You’re not strong enough."

I raise my eyebrows so high they almost meet my hairline. "Ex-fucking-cuse you? I’m fucking strong. You don’t even know me. Just because you had your tongue in my mouth it doesn’t mean that you know me."