Chapter 12- Marked

A/N: Sorry for the late update. I was genuinely busy with work and writing and everything else, it's a bit of a mess but anyway here it is.

MIRA'S POV:

As my muscles relaxed in contact with the cool water, I let it flow through my body. My mind flashed back to last night as I sat in the bathtub. Gosh, how can I be so stupid?

I got jealous for nothing. How can I be so stupid? And for that reason, all of this happened.

I gulped hard when I remember how Alex was beating that guy to almost to his death. Such a reckless kid. What if something would have happened to him? I wonder what would have happened if that guy would have actually died? His whole career would have been over there. We both could lose so much.

Shit, I let my guard down last night, just for something I never thought I'd have in life again. Jealousy.

Years after training my mind with yoga and several workout sessions, I thought I finally defeated the bundle of emotions in my mind. But I guess I am just wrong. Again. Something in life never tends to leave us alone.

But I cannot deny the fact that this was possibly the best sex of my life. His touch has ignited a fire in me, that I've never known, exist. He looked like a professional, yet I know nothing about him, apart from he's one of my students.

I touched my lips which were still swollen from the kiss we had last night. Everything about him is heavenly tempting. But at the same time, he is the only guy that made me blush so hard. I guess I almost forgot how to do that. Never thought it would come back like this. Not that I am complaining about it though.

I sighed heavily as I closed my eyes and soaked more water.

BEEP BEEP.

My phone vibrated and my peaceful time was ruined.

Nina.

"Yes Nina, what's up?"

"You tell me, what's up with you? Where are you? You haven't come home since yesterday and never bothered to call me at least?" She scowls at me over the phone. I know she has the right to be angry at me. Whenever I stay back with Alex, I end up forgetting all the other things in the world. "Mira, Are you okay?" She asked. Her voice is full of concern.

As she asked the questions, my mind took me back to yesterday night's ecstasy. How his body aligned with me and we could almost touch the soul of each other. How his touch took me to heaven and then the pleasure almost brought me back from hell. How our desire brought us the most wonderful outcome.

I know this all seems really wrong, but I tend to fall for it more.

"Never been better." I snapped back when she called me a few times by my name over the phone as I am being the complete asshole, who's lost in thought of sex right now.

"Wow, you sound like sex right now"

"Well, you can say that," I smirked knowing how amazing that sounds right now.

"Okay... who's the guy? Is he the same as earlier?"

I was not sure if I could be honest with Nina this time. Not because I don't trust her. But I cannot possibly take Alex's career in a threat line. I know even if I chose to tell her everything that had happened past these weeks, which of course I am dying for, she'd keep it a secret. But this is Alex's decision too. I am not sure if he wants me to tell anyone or not. So, I have to wait. I guess.

"Uhm... yes." A stupid grin spread across my face for no apparent reason. Geez, I am sort of becoming cringiest girl ever, I guess.

"Alrighty. I am dying to hear everything. Now, when will you come home?" She squeals in joy. I know she's one of the many people who wanted my life to be settling down like a normal person. But I wonder if I ever could do that.

"I don't know yet. But I will call you when I leave. Also, how did your date night work out? Did you guys have fun?" I wonder if she's really happy with the man she chooses this time. If not, I am just one step away from breaking David's neck for breaking her heart.

"We did. And it was so enjoyable. We came to know a lot about ourselves and then we cooked together, and we cuddled and made love."

I sighed in relief. I am happy to listen her to be that happy. She deserves that. Everyone does. Apparently not just me. I guess. "That sounds like a good night, Nina. I am happy for you."

"And I am happy for you. I mean, I know it's not like you that you would see the same person twice, I guess he's some special one."

Is he?

I almost forgot to ask this question when I kissed him yesterday. Is he someone special? No, he can't be. Right? I can't do this. I am not capable of love or affection. Or have any sort of feeling in me. It got ruined. Years ago. And the ashes have been dispersed in thin air. All I was left with was a corpse of my body, trapping my dead soul. I cannot fall for anyone. I am incapable of doing that. Then what is this that I am feeling? Why do I feel the urge to see him, hold him, touch him like I never want to let go? This is wrong. This all is so wrong. And for us, this is forbidden. He is my student... I shouldn't be doing all this in the first place.

I feel scared to think even what outcome I have to face if this gets leaked out. All my hard work would scramble in just a second. I cannot be this weak over a guy. I know he is stupidly hot, but I have a career to build. The only thing I am living for. I have to leave him anyways. One day. So, I intend not to get attached too much. It isn't good for any of us. This is wrong. All of this is wrong.

I sighed in frustration as I thought to myself, I am just tempted by him. I am sure he is just one of my stupid obsessions that will be over soon. It is not that I am in love with him. Right?

Scratch that. I am not in love with him.

"Uh... I really gotta go. I will see you soon". I disconnected the call before she could say anything else. I was scared. Scared of all the possible things that could doom me for wanting this.

Fucking asshole. That is what I am.

I have never felt so weak in past these years. This is dangerous. It could bring me pain and suffering that I intend to avoid.

And this, us, could lead us to something dangerous. A forbidden path always ends with something bad. I can't let this happen again.

What am I fearing anyways? People say I am incapable of loving anyone. That my heart is a stone, with no feeling at all. This is just a mere one-night stand that turned into an obsession of mine. I need to close this.

I don't know why I chose to see him again. Why? What is so special about him that made me think twice about him? I am not like that. Valeria would never do that.

I don't think there is anything as such. It was just a matter of matching desires. He is just someone... that ends up fucking me good. I should not and would not think about him anyway. Whatever this was, it is supposed to end right now. I have to leave.

Although I am scared and panicked thinking about what should I say to Alex. One thing was right, my heart aches for some reason every time I see his sad face. The beautiful face that deserves someone worthy to take care of. Not like me. A broken piece of shit.

I let myself head up from the water as I wrapped a towel around my body and walked outside. I need to leave as soon as possible. I need to get things right in my head. For that, I need to go home. Surprisingly Alex was nowhere to be found.

It was a positive thing anyway. My clothes were already ragged so I stole a pair of his hoodies and sweatpants. I looked around the beautifully furnished room for the last time as yesterday I didn't get much time.

Black and gold really give the interior a royal feel. Sleek and classy. I wonder how he can afford such a place being just a student? Maybe he's the son of some super-rich businessman or something.

Not that I should know. I simply walked towards the door. But something stopped me. I just can't leave like that. He'd be sad if I leave like this again. I don't want that. I wonder what he'd think of me if I do that again. Maybe someone who enjoys fucking him and then leaving without a proper note. But Valeria does that. That's the rule. But for some reason, I feel this would be too bitchy of me if I don't leave a proper note. Not that I care or anything, but still... I have to.

So, I came back and headed to his kitchen. A few sticky notes were hanging by the fridge. How childish of him. Seriously? Are sticky notes all over the fridge? What is he a ten-year-old kid? Nonetheless, he is a kid sometimes. Who would say that this guy can turn into a beast killing someone for me and then fucking me like some devil god? Fuck he's...

Shut up, Mira. Just do what you are here to do and then leave.

I began to read a few notes that were hanging there. He got pretty scribbled handwriting. I guess all doctors do. Something they are proud of, which is really a pain in the ass. I mean we all know how doctors write, like dipping an ant in the ink and just throwing them on the paper. The long gibberish word you find hard to read and then it turns out to be Panadol. Crazy right?

"Remember to call mom at 9 am"

"Dinner with mom at 8 at the Plaza Hotel."

"Hazel - 646-321-4342"

Hmmm... who's Hazel? Girlfriend? NO... sister? I don't know, it doesn't matter.

And then my eyes fall on a note which was written..." If you are here, that means you have completed your shower. There's food in the fridge or you can order anything you like. I am heading to the gym. I will come back in an hour, doll. Till then please miss me."

Such a cheesy person. I rolled my eyes. I took a pen and wrote a note under his "I am heading back home. Thanks for that last night. I enjoyed it. Goodbye"

I looked around one last time before I left.

******

"Wow, you are back so quickly?" Nina asked with a smile as I walked into my house. It's my house bitch, I can come back whenever I want. But I just thought to roll my eyes at her.

"Yeah... It's morning. Valeria doesn't stay after the night is over. You know that." I replied, tossing the key at the nearest table.

"That's right, but you broke the rules anyway. You have seen the guy more than once. That means he is special. And also, you are wearing his hoodie. This is something new...So you wanna say something on that?" She teased while looking at me from head to toe with a judged look.

"So, nothing Nina. I know what you are trying to do here. He is not anyone special, okay? It is just the... situation that got us into that we end up meeting each other again. Besides he's a good fuck that I cannot ignore."

He really is. But the question is he just a good fuck to me?

"Okay... what kind of situation?" She asked while folding her hands to her chest.

"What?"

"Yeah, go ahead, I wanna know what kind of situation did arise to bend the rules for Valeria?"

"You did not need to know Nina. Plus, I wanna spend some time alone, so..."

She sighs and replies, "Fine. I am leaving now. But this doesn't mean this conversation is over, okay? I am your best friend and I have the right to know every detail of your life. See you at school tomorrow"

I smiled at her as she began to grab her things for the leave. David went home early this morning, as his cousins were going back tonight. I kept staring with a smile at her until she disappeared behind the door. I know this lady can be intrusive, but she's a darling.

But the next minute my mind is back to his thought. This has already become a mess. I can only wonder what it will be like to keep things going on like this. I never want to let my guard down for anyone.

I sighed in frustration as I was starting to have a headache, thinking about all this. I poured wine into a glass and let it swallow through my throat. A tasty balance of sweet, sour, salty, and bitter elements passed through my throat, giving me relief. Charosa. One of my favourite wines.

As soon as the smooth wine fell on my tongue, my mind snapped right back to the taste of him. Alex. He tasted fresh mint and alcohol last night. No matter what situation occurs, still, I loved the taste of him. I will betray myself if I say I don't.

Fuck. Get your thoughts, out of him.

But sadly, I couldn't. I kept thinking about him again and again. Finally, I thought that I really needed a break from all this. I needed a distraction. So, I opened my laptop and started to write.

Writing was one of my many hobbies. To be honest, my favourite one among them all. This is the only thing that has kept me alive for years. I love writing as much as I love myself. This has always been a part of me. But it is just a hobby. I have never thought to showcase my dark thoughts to the world. I would never be ready for that. It has too many of my secrets and complex thoughts that my mind goes through every time I go through and haphazard situation. Not like this one is haphazard, but it is something that clouded my mind.

My way of coping has always been this way. Whether the situation is positive or terrible, sad or happy when I get overwhelmed by feelings, I write them out. I jotted down my thoughts as a relief. My writings were always filled with emotions that I couldn't deal with right now and that is how I let out my emotions.

So, I wrote. I wrote about the feelings I was feeling right now. I wrote everything about him. How he felt like a relish, to my mouth every time we kiss. This is fucking crazy to think of him till now. But I really can't stop now. I don't want to. Writing down what I feel right now completely lets my mind take over me. Him. All of him. I know this is wrong, but still, I desire him.

******

I don't know how long it's been since I was writing and now after letting all my emotions out, I was hungry. I looked at the time and it was already 2 pm. I need food. I took out my phone and dialled the number of the nearest restaurant to order from.

"Hi, Miss Julie? Mira this side..."

"Oh, hey Mira, how are you?"

"Yes, I am good. I just wanted to order food for lunch"

"Oh, I am so sorry Mira, but haven't you heard that the city is under lockdown today?"

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. Some military issues. I just got the news."

"Oh." I frown. This has never been since the lockdown ended. Maybe some serious issue took place.

"I am sorry" She apologised from the other side.

"Yeah, that's okay" Even though I was still hungry, I wasn't left with many options.

I sighed with a confused look; I realized I had nothing to eat right now. Fuck why not Mira? You have a few groceries. You can cook. But I haven't been in the kitchen for like years. I think I forgot how to cook. But what can you do now? You have to prepare food if you want to eat.

I sighed knowing that my mind is quite logical right now. I have to cook.

I took out a few vegetables and spices to cook. Though I have no idea what I should cook right now. Should I just call mom for help? No, she will just give me big lectures if I do. Should I just call Nina? No, she must be busy.

"Huh!" I huffed in frustration. With not having many options left for me I thought I will do it alone. I can do it. Absolutely. How terrible it can be?

Therefore, I cut a few vegetables as I poured water into a bowl for rice. Let's try making a simple dish that my mom uses to make when I was young. Dal khichdi. Luckily that is all I can remember as I use to sit beside my mom every time, she uses to make me those. And look I have all the ingredients it requires.

I smiled at my victory and began to chop-chop getting all ready to cook now.

RING... RING...

My hands were dirty from all the work I was doing so far. Mind completely remembering the minute details my mom uses to make while making the dish. I picked up my phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Mira?"

Fuck.

It's Alex.

"Uh... Hi"

"Hey, where are you?"

"Uhm... I am at home. I just returned a few hours ago. Are you home yet? I heard they were on lockdown today"

"Yes, it is. And yeah, I came home. I was kinda disappointed when I didn't see you at home"

"Uhm... Yeah, I am sorry. I had a little work."

"Hope you are done"

I could feel my knees getting weak from his voice. Fuck this shit, he's too good at what he does. And for the first time, I was forced to think maybe Valeria isn't enough to make his standby. "Even if I was, neither of us can see each other at night now, right?"

"Yeah. about that..."

"Ouch... fucking hell" I cursed as the sharp knife fell on my finger instead of the vegetable and blood poured onto the cutting board. I shriek in pain a little as I bit my lower lips to control my whimpers.

Finally, after a few seconds, I let out the breath I had been holding all along. I opened the tap and let the water run down my finger as I saw the red fluid wash away. Much better. I hope my cloudy thought could have been washed away like this somehow.

I looked back at the vegetable which was coloured red by my blood. Not edible anymore. I cringe to see the sight of blood a little. I glance at my phone, which fell on the floor. Alex had already disconnected the call by now. As I sighed, I removed all the vegetables from the kitchen countertop. I guess I have to stay hungry for now. I hope the lockdown gets over quickly so that I can go out for dinner at least.

DING DONG

Who might it be at this hour? As I opened the door, I let the finger in my mouth suck off the blood. This reduced the pain a little. Plus, I know the fact that saliva creates a humid environment, thus improving the survival and functioning of inflammatory cells that are crucial for wound healing.

I opened my door with frustration thinking who might it be at this hour. My jaw dropped when I saw Alex in front of me. His eyes were filled with worry and anger.

"A-Alex" I gasped.

"What happened to you? Why did you scream?"

"I- I was... I just got a small cut while chopping the vegetables." I tell almost ashamed of my stupid self. What must he be thinking now? I am a brat, who doesn't even know how to cook. Gosh, it's so embarrassing.

"Gosh, how can you be so careless?" he immediately took my hand closer to take a better look at it. He was too focused.

I looked at him with skepticism as I asked, "I'm fine... But how did you get here... did you drive that fast?". I know that fact that he is a fast and reckless driver. I have witnessed this myself. And that somehow scares me. Thinking about his safety sometimes. I should tell him about that right?

"Yes, I have to," he said ignoring my words while taking my wounded hand into his and blowing to it. Fuck. For some reason, I can feel my pussy getting wet from his action.

Control your fucking self, Mira. I internally slapped myself.

"But how?"

"I have my ways, Mira" he shrugged pushing me in and letting me inside my home. I couldn't say anything. I was stunned by how carefully he looked at my wounds as if they were his. I stared at him as he kept slowly blowing into them.

"You're such a careless. Why haven't you done the first aid yet?" He demanded, all protective and mad. I swear I felt butterflies in my stomach even though I didn't want to feel anything.

I was only able to say, "You came too early.".

******

"Don't you think you should just stop the blood and not squeeze it out more? Ow... God fuck" I whimper as he squeezes out more blood from my finger. That hurt.

"Trust me. I am studying medicine"

He did the first aid and bandaged my finger carefully. I was so lost in him that I hadn't had consciousness when he completed his doing.

"Why did you write goodbye, Mira?" He suddenly asked in his deep voice breaking me from my dreamland. I didn't know what to answer. It was meant to be a goodbye for us. But I also know that no matter how hard I try, I will always somehow end up in front of him. And I don't want it.

I finally replied, "Because that is what I meant." with all my strength. I almost choked at my own voice. But I have to keep my calm.

He frowned and looked at me. "What do you mean?"

"I meant goodbye to us, Alex," I tell honestly. Knowing that it would break both of our hearts somehow, I tell him. A part of me tells me that this is a lie, but the next part says that this is the right thing to do. I am too broken for him to handle. And no matter how hard I try I know something about me will keep dragging us together. I just don't want him to end up like me. Broken.

He looked more lost. For some reason, I couldn't keep looking into his eyes. They were hurt by me. Which I hated the most. But I am also helpless.

"Wait... NO... You don't mean that Mira."

"Unfortunately, I do. I am so sorry to do it again, but we need to stop this." A sting appears in my eyes, making it all red and croaked my voice at the end.

"Tell me this is a joke... a lie." His eyes hardened. His eyes darken and that makes me feel shover down my spine for some reason.

"I wish I could tell you that. But I can't. This can't continue like this. We are not meant to be Alex, try to understand. This is forbidden. You are my student. You and me can never happen. If even we try hard. It won't make any sense."

"I am a student at your school. Not outside. You know that we are far ahead in that relationship just to be called student-teacher. As long as you want to try, I would come to the end of the world for you. You know you want me as much as I want you even if you deny everything about us. " He gripped my cheeks squeezing them. I probably look like a puff fish right now. "I know that. I have seen it myself last night" he whispers on my neck.

My legs almost gave up, luckily, he was holding me to make me stand straight at this time. "I-I"

"You didn't just lie yesterday, did you? All of those words cannot be a lie, Mira. I know your pussy is drenched whenever my touch lingers around your body. I know because my cock hardens with just the sight of yours. If you lie, I have to get the answer your body tells me."

"I didn't lie but..."

"I want you, Mira. I want you as mine." He confessed. His eyes stare at mine as deeply as they could for answers that I am uncertain of. They were filled with promises that honestly scares me. But I cannot deny that a part of me agrees with him. I hate to admit, that he is right.

"You are playing with fire, Alex, you don't know what the consequence will be if we keep doing this"

"I don't care... and I don't want to. I want you as mine. All mine. Rest if I have to fight against the world for you, I'd do that gladly, without any resentment."

Tears run down my cheeks, and I can't figure out what they're for. I haven't cried in years. So, I cannot tell whether it was out of pain or happiness.

He looked at me with the most genuine look he could ever give me. I kept staring at him as my heart started beating so fast. Soon his lips began to touch mine as softly as he could. I closed my eyes and let his soft lips claim mine. I fist my hands, trying hard to control them, but I guess it didn't work for a long time. I gave up. Our lips moved in sync as we kissed each other fervently...

NO... Love is a heavy word I can't use right now.

Like... would be better, I guess. I do like him. I do like having him around me. And I cannot deny that anymore, even knowing that it can doom both of us someday.

Soon he lifts me up in his arms without breaking the kiss and leads us to my bedroom. I wonder how he does that to me every time. Making all the butterflies reach up to my heart until I feel absolutely crazy and overwhelmed. I wrapped my legs around his torso as he carried me.

He pushed me to the wall and kissed me again. We kissed until we ran out of breath. This is a sin. I know it. This was nothing like love. But still, I have a way to cover it. In my own twisted way.

His hands glided down between my thighs as his fingers played with my clits. I moaned in his mouth as soon as he pulled the waistband of my underwear and pushed it down. His hands crept up before my entrance.

"You are so wet for me." He rasps in my ear and all I could do is moan at the pleasure he intends to give me.

Before I could say anything else, his lips were once again attached to mine. In the absence of air, I pulled off, after some time, but his lips never left my skin. He nibbled on my neck with his lips trailing behind a few kisses. Those were the arts he like to do to my body. Once he was done, he kissed me again. We kissed until we ran out of breath.

"We should not be doing this, Alex..." My inner self still conflicts.

"Why not Mira? Don't tell me you don't want this?"

His bulge touched my stomach and I could feel how much they wanted to set free from his pant. I wanted him to take me there. Fell everything that he wants to do with me. My mind is resisting but my heart wants him and my body reacts the same as my heart. This is wrong... This has to stop. But I don't know how.

"Your silence told me the answer."

I gasped as he pushed his member inside of me. I gripped hold of him as he began to thrust inside of me. The wall was the only thing that is keeping me in my place. Sin... A sweet sin that we commit. Surprisingly I loved all of it.

"I am marking you today, Mira. You are mine. All mine"

As he guided me to my bed, he showed me the love I had been craving so much.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Am I the only one who is simping over Alex's sweet gestures? He is really a gentleman. And hot. And sweet. And so much.......