II

The following stories, perhaps this year's high school graduates, will inspire you to choose a field of study, and some older ones will probably make you reflect, especially when changing the wheel in winter ...;)

Well, it's a day in the isotope research laboratory, I would say, as usual. Attempts are going on, which patient gets a marker and directed to the waiting room, politely waiting for their turn to read the test. The isotope doses received by patients are safe for them (adults), but for safety reasons, each patient is "instructed" about the procedure. It is a short rhyme that each of us knows by heart about possible side effects, procedures, etc.

One of the boringly repeated verses reads: "please also avoid contact with young children and pregnant women" The isotope marker has a half-life of about 6 hours, so after 24 there is practically no trace of it.

Today, the PATIENT, probably known to some part of the militancy in newspapers, appeared on the rehearsal as a very enterprising and rich ex-athlete. The research support is large, the Professor herself has even looked twice, so the nervousness is at its peak. Well, my dear friend instructed the patient immediately after administering the isotope:

- "Today, please avoid contact with young women and pregnant children"

There was a moment of silence, the VIP blushed slightly and meekly choked out:

- "Okay"

* * * * *

Morning - of course at seven a small crowd of patients in front of the outpatient clinic.

The first one to see me was my regular patient, whom I have been running for 2 years. Nice and friendly, with a sense of humor. Immediately after the physical examination (auscultation of the heart), when I had already written the prescriptions, the discussion turned to the bust.

P: - Because I have noticed, doctor, that some women, especially younger ones with more beautiful breasts, are asked to undress, and the older ones are often told that we can stay in a bra. Is this how you like to watch each other?

Me: - The issue is purely medical. How abundant the bust is - to auscultate the heart, we often need to examine it through or right under the breast. The bra would be in the way. On the other hand, older women have breasts that are often saggy enough that you can already listen to your breasts. Although the lady is already 40 years old (I love to remind women how many springs they count), she has the right bust, so I am asking you to take off your bra if you need to.

P: - (smiling coquettishly) Ooooh, but I got a compliment today.

The patient took the prescriptions, left, I complete the files, the next patient enters, I am leaning over the table, saying: Good morning. Please sit down. I'm finishing.

In response, I hear the gloomy voice of another regular patient:

- I understand that HOW USUALLY I am not to take my bra off !! ??

Shit, that door was supposed to be soundproof ...

* * * * *

It works 14 years ago, in the first year of medical studies. The first item - anatomy. Such as to check students' endurance to various pleasant sides of medicine. So it started with the fact that the classes were held in a 3 meter by 4 meter room, in the center of which, on the table, there were

human corpse. The student girl sat around the table, in a circle, and each had a few centimeters of table to spread out a notebook for taking notes. The smells in the room ..... endearing, but as during the first class we were told (when we asked if the window could be opened) "No one has died from the stench yet, and the cold killed Napoleon's army near Moscow"

In the corner of the room, there were additionally metal cabinets (somewhat resembling oversized chests), always padlocked. Sometimes we put clothes on them, sometimes backpacks, as long as possible away from ... the central table.

One frosty day, when some organs of the human body were being rolled with our assistant, a janitor, as if taken alive from some horror, entered. The janitor was a special person, he was distinguished by a huge hump and a mouth straight from the "Night of the Living Dead" so he had the student nickname "Frankenstein" among his brothers, while ignoring the classes, the janitor absentmindedly threw our things on the floor (and understand here - fear of and during these classes it was so big that no one even mumbled it) and started to open the padlocks. The assistant fell silent at that moment, and everyone focused on the box. When it finally opened, a strong smell of formalin hit our nostrils. The janitor rolled up his sleeve, put a huge rubber glove on his arm and reached into the chest (bathtub ??). He searched for something for a moment, then with a flourish pulled the woman's head by the hair, which is still fresh, slightly bruised, amputated at the level of the shoulders.

The assistant, seeing our green faces, smiled immediately and said to the janitor:

- But you picked up your cane, just right for you.

I know, shame. But after class, a bit hysterical, but still we laughed at it ...

* * * * *

Yesterday, while performing the service called home visit, I received a phone call asking me to come to "a very stuffy mum".

I come to the address indicated (a villa in the vicinity of Kryspinów, this well-known bathing place near Krakow) and the first thing that catches my eye is the neon sign with the words Agencja Escortska. What I thought was mine, but treating the loose thing, I quickly began to think about what could get stuffy here. Anyway, I take a doctor's case and go over and call. A nice looking girl in her thirties, smelling of a mixture of perfume and sweat, opens for me. With a very broad, toothy smile, he invites me inside, trying to pick up my suitcase. To mine: I am a doctor, I was called to see Ms. XX, the smile fades, but a second, similar-looking "daughter of the revolution" appears quickly, confirming that she was the one who called and that "mom is waiting upstairs" (Brothel mama)

So I go upstairs admiring the interior design (my first visit to a bu ... escort agency), as could be expected, red-cream-pink tones dominate. So the classic is valid. I enter one of the few rooms on the first floor, following my "daughter",

Grandma is sitting on the bed (of course, with a lace canopy !!) and barely breathing.

So I do not start much more asking for my medical duties, hearing that the door closes behind me with a quiet "I will come in a moment but I have to do something quickly"

Okay. We examine, auscultate (me and my ears), administer an inhaled beta-mimetic (such a fast-acting remedy for breathlessness - to ease Grandma's breathing) when the door opens again behind me. I did not turn around because I thought that my daughter had already done what she was supposed to do there. After two seconds, however, I hear a male, slightly drunk voice:

- "Man, the fuck, I'll give you some money so that you can indulge in normal indulgence"

It was not a daughter. I did not use.