28th December 2019 ~ 7th February 2020

28th December 2019

I still haven't had any update about my physical signs which show my progress is changed. The lumps on my back are still small as usual, they haven't grown bigger for while. But recently, I usually have had an uncomfortable feeling at the shoulder blade area and tailbone area. It's like I have something that got stuck on along my back that I can sit or lay comfortably. This happened mostly at around from evening till night. Meanwhile, in the daytime, I am totally fine, of course, I still can feel the phantom wings.

Ah, there are two things that I want to write down here. Firstly, yesterday in the afternoon, I had a haircut, a men haircut. I kinda love this haircut even though my aunt who is older than me 7 years old said it does not look good to me. Well, fine, as I care. And next week I am going to have my hair dyed dark or light blue. At first, I planned to have my hair permed, but sadly the financial situation I am having doesn't let me do that so I will just have my hair cut and dyed in colour. That's it. Second thing, I feel that the connection with the sky has got stronger and stronger and moreover, I dream more often than before. I have dreamed a lot, and most of them are so weird, but also so realistic to me. Whenever I dreamed, I felt as if I was exactly the person who was experiencing the things that happened. Then when I woke up the next morning, I could remember well what happened in my dream, and also the feeling, the movement, the conversation, but there are still have some details that I can't recall. But, there's a problem is I can't recall what my face looks like in the dream but the body. In most of the dreams I have, I usually see that my body has a male figure, or I have to say that it was masculine body looking and it was big, muscular and tall. I don't know, but honestly, I like my body in those dreams. In overall, I have to say that... it's freaking weird, but at the same time also cool as well. *shrug*

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1st January 2020

Today is New Year's Eve. Last night, I stayed up late in order to count down. Erm... I have a small update about my wings. Well, it was the first time I felt the burning on my shoulder blades area. It was hot as if my shoulder blades were on fire. The hot feeling, actually it like you show your back under sunshine in the hot weather. Yeah, it was similar like that. But the weird thing is it hot, but not outside of my back, on the skin, it was more likely to be hot from inside of my body at shoulder blades area. That's all. I'd like to end here because I am kind of pretty bored and lazy. Bye.

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8th January 2020

Last night, I had a hurt feeling on my back again. And also, I saw there is something new on my shoulder blades: My back has formed two new small muscle nubs. They were like this: Two wide small nubs at about half of my palm, start from the middle of shoulder blades then go down for a few centimetres under them; And two small holes which are the same size with the small glass marble on top of my shoulder blades. They are small and not visible. They only show up when I move my shoulder blades or shrug them up to check.

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12th January 2020 10th January 2020, at night, I suddenly had s slight fever and sore throat, feeling tired and having soring feeling on my shoulder blades. 11th Jan, I overslept at 11:17 am, the fever was gone, but my throat was still uncomfortable. From evening till night, the shoulder blade area was twitching and tingling all time Today, I have just gotten suddenly crackling at the shoulder blades.

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7th February 2020

Well, right now is pretty late. Yeah, I know. But I have to update before going to be or not, I may forget about this. Erm... Hell yeah, my shoulder blades now have changed a bit from the last time I checked. Well they seem a bit poke out further than before, and the 2-line edge of the shoulder blades are not straight like normal anymore, they became curvy a bit. And one more thing: the spots, which look like holes I said about before, now seem to be deeper. They are pretty deep that I can feel them whenever I touch my shoulder blades, and I also can see them well. Yeah, that's it. I will update if there is anything new.

P/s: I also can feel the heartbeat more often from my shoulder blades whenever I lay down on my back. This has happened almost every day.

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