Chapter 2: Trapped In a Wizard's Tower

It must have been the middle of the night when Durri was locked up. A few hours later, light began filtering through a metal-barred window set into the wall.

Shortly after, the paralysis wore off, and Durri could get up.

"Well, what do I have to work with?" he asked out loud.

He could see the Codex in his mind at all times, the collection of every alchemy recipe in the world. A spectral book, bound in blue-purple leather with gold hardware. All Durri had to do was close his eyes and it would appear as real to him as any book he had ever held.

That was the gift he had chosen. However, Durri had not realized that he would need to 'read' the Codex like a book. He had thought he would simply have perfect knowledge of every alchemical ingredient in the world, as naturally as blinking and breathing.

"I suppose I don't really breathe," Durri said to himself. "Golems don't do that, it seems. I'm actually surprised I have eyelids! My eyes are made of gemstones, so they don't need to stay damp, right?"

He walked to the windowsill and looked through the bars. The luscious greenery of treetops below waggled like green sheep in the morning breeze.

Durri tried to inhale deeply and savor the air.

"No lungs means I can only take a mouthful of air at once... That's too bad, I suppose. It feels so odd not to be able to take deep breaths."

At least he could still smell the freshness of the morning, as well as the spicy scent from the previous night.

"Just as I thought! A little pot full of 'bird's eye' peppers. Shiny and red." He looked fondly at the drooping plant sitting on the windowsill. It was the only decoration in the room. It didn't seem like this place had been intended as a prison, but neither was it a comfortable living space.

"I wish I had a nice plate of beef and vegetables to eat you with, peppers. Unfortunately, I need you for something else. Though, since I don't seem to need to breathe or sleep, I wonder if I can even eat meals?"

Not needing sleep as a golem, Durri had spent the hours of his paralysis looking through some entries in the Codex.

He had looked up the entry for bird's eye peppers in particular. They seemed to be a key ingredient for various fire-based potions, the most basic of which interested Durri immensely.

"Of course," he muttered, "there's one big problem. I have an empty bottle, and an ingredient, but I need water!"

Just then, a knock came at the room's thick wooden door.

Durri moved to the door. "What do you want?" he asked bitterly.

To his surprise, it was the rhinoceros-like Colfax who replied. "Oh, good morning, Mr. Golem! I'm very sorry about everything. Just doing my job, you know."

Durri looked at the bottom of the door. The minions' stubby hooves were visible through the two-inch gap at the floor. "Maybe you should find a different job."

"It's not very fun, no, but I'd be an idiot to leave in this economy. The health insurance is surprisingly good."

"I can't blame you there," said Durri.

Even in his job as a construction worker—back in his first, human life—it seemed like people were just building fewer taverns and temples these days. He would have never taken that too-good-to-be-true job for the witch under ordinary circumstances.

"I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings," the minion said nervously.

"Do you believe me, Colfax? That I'm a human, not just a random bit of intelligence your boss created in this body?"

"I don't know anything about that! I'm not letting you out, if that's what you're asking."

Durri shrugged. "Worth a shot, I guess."

"Can I get you anything, at least? We have some leftover horse liver and boiled cheese from last night."

Durri paused. "That sounds utterly disgusting."

"My dad used to say the best kind of food is free food. After working here, I'm starting to doubt it."

Durri raised his eyebrows. "After working here? I'd assumed the wizard, erm, invented you, like he did my body."

Colfax's rough cheeks grew red with indignation. "Goodness, no! I'm a rhinoceros man, born and bred! I suppose I can't fault someone as young as you for ignorance, though. Well, do you want food, or not?"

Durri sighed. "I'm not hungry, no." Then, an idea struck him.

"Colfax, there 'is' one thing. I'm extremely thirsty. Can you get me some water? As pure as possible. Um, it's because, as a golem, the impurities in dirty water weaken me. I bet your boss has a distiller or something lying around, right?"

The minion's voice sounded eager. "Oh, of course! Yes, we run a moonshine business on the side. I think we have some distilled water in a vat somewhere, though we may be keeping sea serpent eggs in it at the moment... Wait a bit, and I'll be right back!"

Durri chuckled as the sound of hooves scurrying down the hallway grew more quiet.

"That's a bit of luck for the first time in forever! Perhaps he'll even be stupid enough to open the door to give me the water. I'll do my best not to hurt him, since he seems like a nice guy, but I guess part of being a wizard's dumb minion is sometimes getting thrown around by the monsters he brings to life."

Twenty minutes later, the sound of Colfax's hooves again reached Durri's ears.

"Do I really 'have' ears?" Durri muttered. "I have these ear-shaped things on my head, but they don't seem to have holes... I have no idea how this body is supposed to work."

"Mr. Golem?" Colfax asked cheerfully from the hallway.

"Yes, I'm here! Thank you so much for doing this. I'm so fabulously thirsty. Are you going to open the door and bring it in now?"

Colfax laughed. "Oh ho, nice try, Mr. Golem! I don't blame you for trying to escape, but I'm not the one who was born yesterday! No, I'm going to pour the water into this tray and slide it under the door."

There was a rattle as Colfax dropped a metal baking tray onto the ground, then poured water from some container into the tray. The minion cursed, probably getting his hooves wet.

Durri crouched down and pulled the tray through to his side. There was maybe a cup's worth of water, and it smelled fishy.

"So you 'were' keeping sea serpent eggs in it after all?" He searched through the Codex in his head for the eggs.

"Honestly, I don't feel bad about taking their water. Whenever we hatch sea serpents, they just mock me all day and night. I think they hear how the boss treats me and believe it's all right for them to do the same. I tried to make it look like a meteorite blasted through the roof and broke the tank."

Durri frowned. "You think your boss will believe that?"

"Well, he's drunk and high right now. A little pre-celebration before he and his friends dissect you tonight. He wants to show them how you work, I suppose. Sorry."

According to the Codex, using sea serpent egg-infused water would make this specific potion more effective against wooden ships.

That wouldn't matter, Durri supposed. Yet, the water's impurity meant its power would be reduced.

The Codex said water of high purity was the most important component of any potion. It also told him how to use lab equipment to test water, but he did not exactly have access to the wizard's tools in here.

So Durri shrugged, picked up the tray, and carefully drizzled its water into his bottle.

Then he strode across the room and picked the four bird's eye peppers from their plant.

Durri screwed the bottle shut. "Thank you, Colfax. If you don't get another job, at least get away from the door."

"Why? What are you doing?" Colfax's voice was sharp and full of terror. He seemed to realize, too late, that he had made a mistake.

Following the Codex's instructions, Durri shook the bottle while uttering the invocation for alchemical potion crafting.

"By Anaximander's beard!"

The glass shone brightly and its contents became a gelatinous, transparent red mass that sparkled in the sunlight.

Durri opened the bottle and poured the potion into his hand. It immediately solidified and took the form of an orb with a stem sticking out of the side from which someone could drink it.

Potions were stronger while trapped in a proper container, the Codex said, but this destroyed whatever held them. Durri would need the bottle again, so this hardened elixir would have to do.

"Bombs away!" he shouted, and hurled his Explosive Potion at the room's heavy door.