Chapter 20: My Fears

DAHLIA:

We were driving by the harbor when I decided to open my carriage window. Papa hated it whenever I do so. He always wanted me to sit still until we get into the destination we were aiming to reach. I never really liked traveling with papa.

As soon as I opened my window, the feel of the sea breeze swept inside, making me feel a little bit calm and peaceful.

I struggled to control my thoughts and emotions once again. I had lost it earlier, resulting to that slap in my cheek that was still stinging despite the measures that the maids did, including rubbing ice on my cheek for some time to make the swelling subside.

I could have healed my face if I wanted to, but I didn’t. I wanted a reminder to myself that I mustn’t lose my head this time… Kaist did promise me he will make separation between us possible. I just hoped in my heart that it was true…

There was also another reason why I never tried healing myself despite possessing such a power… It’s just that there are some things inside the heart that I could never heal. There was a deep gash that started to open inside me when I was still young. I fed that chasm inside my heart all of the frustrations and fears I had about myself and about papa. Now it had grown into a deeper hole that I just could never cover up anymore…

I was still looking absentmindedly outside of the carriage window when I had sensed that we seemed to have stopped moving. I heard a click on the latch of my carriage door on the other side. Thinking that Rick was probably going to tell me I had to change carriage due to a malfunction, I was surprised to see that the person who opened the door was my attendant, Lina.

“Lady Hurst,” she said, bursting into my carriage with tears. She was carrying a big bundle of things, which was quite funny since we were supposed to be on our way to the wedding.

“Lady Hurst, are you alright,” she said again, hugging me, something which Lina had never done before despite our closeness.

“I’m alright, Lina,” I said as calmly as I could. “What’s all this? Why are you here, and why did we stop?”

“Lady Hurst, before I answer your question, let’s come down from here first. I’ll tell you all about it once we’ve changed carriage.”

“Huh? But why are we changing carriage? Is there something wrong?” I thought of the rogues we had encountered after going back to Hildt, or was it the vampires? But if so, how could they penetrate the capital so easily?

“Lady Dahlia, please step down from here first. We don’t have much time…”

“Much time for what?”

Before Lina could say anything else, I heard the voice I always wanted to hear but never dreamed of hearing again speak behind her.

“Let me try and pursue the lady to come down.”

My eyes watered almost instantaneously. It was Tristan.

He hurriedly went inside the carriage and spoke to Lina and the others who were waiting outside. “Just give us a minute.”

I was still awestruck as I drank in his lovely face and his dark, mesmerizing eyes. He was wearing a dark coat and a white suit underneath. I just can’t believe it! My mate’s here! He’s looming in front of my very eyes!

“Lady Dahlia, why do you look so unwell?” His hands brushed into my face, clearing away the tears I didn’t know was already falling down from my face. “Why did you reject me if you’d just look this miserable, hmm?”

I struggled to regain the power of speech as I sobbed. I hated myself for crying yet again. It was a relief to see Tristan before I proceeded to the wedding hall. At the same time, my heart felt like it was tearing apart because I knew I have to do what I have to do…

“I.. I’m sorry… I’m sorry about what I said,” I sniffed. My face must have been the most terrible looking thing in the entire kingdom at that moment. I couldn’t control the outpour of my emotions. “I just… I don’t want you to hate me… I never wanted you to hate me…”

“Dahlia, I could never hate you. You and I are a part of each other. How can I hate a part of myself,” he said, still brushing away the tears from my eyes.

I tried to regain a firmer sense of control on myself. He was probably here to say good bye to me. I shouldn’t make this hard for both of us.

“Tristan, thank you for seeing me again…”

He patted my head until I felt better. My crying had subsided by now to the point that I could clearly speak. I tried to open my mouth and tell him the thing I feared the most.

“Since I was young, I’ve been able to heal people. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all, but papa thinks that everyone would see me in a different light if they knew,” I began. Tristan was about to say something, but I held my hand over his mouth.

“Just hear me out first,” I said quietly. “I don’t often talk about things like this, so if I don’t do this now… I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to tell you,” I replied.

He filled the spaces of my fingers with his warm hand and squeezed them, sending a warm feeling into my heart. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”

I sighed inwardly before I continued. “The only people aside from my papa who knew about this ability were very few, and that included Kaist and the king. I know they find my ability of value… Otherwise, they won’t be this adamant to keep me by their side.”

I looked straight into Tristan’s eyes, searching for the courage to express my fears. “You already said before that you knew I could heal people, but I want you to see it for yourself before deciding to accept it…”

As soon as I spoke, I held my palms at both sides of his face. Just as I had seen in Kaist two nights ago, I could still see that there were traces of a bruised left eye and a cut on his forehead that hadn’t completely healed yet. I held his cheeks and used my glowing hands to heal him.

As soon as golden lights emanated from my hands, I saw Tristan’s eyes widened. I bit my lips to stop my tears from falling down once more. I was regretting a bit that I had decided to show him this side of me, deathly afraid of how he’ll react. For once in my life, however, I needed to be brave and honest… Should he decide to leave me after this, at least I had made it clear why we cannot be together…

When the light faded from my palms, I let go of Tristan’s face and backed away a bit from him. “Many people would say this is sorcery… In truth, I don’t know where this power came from.”

There was a heavy silence in the air as my heart pounded on my chest. “Now that you had seen it for yourself, I would no longer hold you accountable for your earlier promise of helping me… Even though I don’t like this marriage, I want to be someone who is useful for the kingdom, and Prince Kaist had guaranteed that. I won’t hate you if you leave now… I will fully understand…”

That’s right… Maybe by staying at Kaist’s side, I could really become someone useful… Maybe I could still help people at the sidelines too…

“Lady Hurst, do you mean to say you will really wed the Crown Prince?”

“Well… He asked me to stay by his side… Although I didn’t know if I could be of any help to him, I will try my best. Also, I don’t want to put you in harm’s way… If I insist on halting this marriage, I’m sure papa will find a way to ruin you.”

“That wouldn’t happen if you do one thing for me.”

“One thing,” I remarked, my heart beating in surprise, “what could it be?”

“Marry me, Dahlia… Come with me instead and marry me.”

I blinked. Was I hearing things yet again?

Tristan reached inside the folds of his jacket and brought out a small circular box. He opened it, and inside, I saw a ring with a heart-shaped diamond in the center.

“I am serious, Dahlia,” he said. “Let’s run away from this place and build a life together. Will you marry me?”