Chapter 3

Coffee

I am not sure if I should be drinking it at times like this.

I don't want to be awake.

I do not want my mind to keep thinking.

Why do people fancy coffee anyway?

because it gives them the energy to go through the day?

Despite the bitterness it brings,

Why is everyone addicted to it?

Crap, what has this got to do with me anyway? Is there a way to make your mind stop thinking? I've noticed over the past few days that I frequently overthink things, and most of them are not even beneficial to reaching my goal, or is it really "my" goal? *sigh*

Right now, I have no choice but to end my day with a coffee, as I don't want to reject Piper's insistence. I'm not a fan of tea anyway.

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There's this coffee shop that Piper and I often go to when we hang out and destress. The location is only a few meters away from our university, and most often, at a certain time of the day, only a few people come here, so it's a perfect place to hide and unwind in this busy city. We already figured out what time is best to come here. I also frequent here when I want some alone time.

Truth be told, there is nothing fancy about the place. Compared to other establishments, this coffee shop is so small that it almost looks like it just blossomed inside a garden, as it is surrounded by plants. As it is very nature-oriented, it makes it an unusual sight while you're in the city. Fresh air engulfs your way through, and even just by the entrance, you can already smell the inviting aroma of the place—the smell of newly roasted coffee beans. I am not a fan of the taste of coffee; that's why I prefer the sweetened ones, but I can't deny that I like the smell of it.

It's.....

Spellbinding?

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Upon entering, the ambiance immediately gives you a familiar feeling that makes you feel relaxed. It's as if you're time-traveling to a period that you haven't even experienced yet feel so familiar with at the same time. Even with its simple interior with earthly colors—nothing extravagant and glaring—it is not boring for me at all. The simplicity itself makes you feel at home, more than in your own house.

Maybe there's something about the place that makes everyone seem friendly, or maybe the people that work here are just accommodating. Either way, I feel welcomed, so even though I am distant, I can easily flash a relaxed smile at them.

The structure is a bit old-fashioned; it is made of rocks and wood. You can say it's theme is something retro, so most decorations have a vintage vibe to them that makes you feel nostalgic. I come here a lot, and yet it still fascinates me that I am not tired of looking at all this. The lamps, the radio, the telephone—they even have a turntable. Everything here is just wonderful, and the way it just blends into the background is astounding.

Every seat here is special, with different types depending on your preference. Some seats are suited for workers, tall enough to put your laptop on and work; some have tatami-type seats that would let you sit comfortably on the floor and chat with your friends; and there are also sofas as well as single seats near a bookshelf for an introvert as well. You can say it is well thought out to cater to everyone.

They even have a nice collection of music that really soothes you. Well, most coffee shops do, I guess, but the difference is that here, they use less popular ones, but songs that talk to you.

Their desserts are not that sweet, which is just perfect for me as the taste is well-balanced and because my drink is already a bit sweeter than a normal coffee.

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We walked past some tables and directly went to our favorite spot on the corner. It looks like a mini-lounge with comfy pillows beside the window, so you can feel the vibe of the room perfectly.

🎶 Even cupid gave up

He targets everyone but me🎶

As soon as we sat down, I rolled my eyes after hearing the lyrics of the song currently playing. Piper saw my reaction, and she couldn't help but giggle, and it was a bit loud considering we're inside a café. I sighed, as I couldn't believe I just described their music taste as something nice, and this was what they played next. Why does it feel now that the lyrics are mocking me? Why now, of all times? I mean, I did say it talks to you, but I hope not this way.

Good thing there are few to no customers here; otherwise, they would have glared at us upon hearing Piper's voice.

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I glared at her and asked her with my eyes, "What?" Like seriously, I'm getting tired of it. Almost every time someone strikes up a conversation with me, which is rare, they always end up asking about my romantic life. My parents' business partners would even often try to recommend their sons to me, but I know more than anyone that I should not associate myself with them as most only like playing with girls' feelings. Those types of people would not date to settle, but just to display to their friends that they can get any girl they want since they have a fortune and fame, and I am not interested in such. Those useless bunches can't even stand on their own and just wait for their parents to give them what they need.

It's almost annoying hearing people talk to you about not having been in a relationship every time they get a chance, and sometimes I wonder if it's a requirement. I am not even sure if my parents would arrange my marriage as well, like they always do, so why bother?

I do wonder sometimes: am I not attractive enough considering that people around my age are either dating or married?

But eventually, I shrug it off, thinking I don't really mind; who cares? I'm living my life; they do theirs.

Though I admit, mine is kind of boring.

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I know I seem crazy to have these two contrasting thoughts, as if I have two personalities. But sometimes, being unbothered takes over more than longing, or maybe I'm just suppressing my own feelings.

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Anyway,

I've been existing in this world for more than 20 years and am about to graduate with my master's degree without romance in life. I guess I'm pretty used to it. It's not like I don't want to, and it's not like I want it either; I just can't imagine myself with one, or maybe I haven't found one.

I've always been afraid of the idea of settling down; imagining it kind of makes me sick. Especially when I think of all the boys I met during gatherings, they are not worthy of my time at all.

If it comes, then it will.

There'll be the right time for that. We can't force anything.

Though we have the freedom to choose,

Still, fate will decide what befits you.

Piper just stared at me with a meaningful look, then shook her head with a look of defeat. She had been in a stable relationship these past few years, so she really urges me to find a partner as well and not just focus on my studies. She thinks I'm doing things to the extreme and that I'm not even giving myself a chance to be happy.

Do I also have such a right? It doesn't feel like it.

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"Let's go," Piper suggested after quite some time.

I turned my head through the window and watched outside as daylight faded, staring and wondering how such colors exist and blended beautifully. A gradient of orange meets blue, and all the possible shades of it appeared and slowly changed with each passing minute. It keeps on swirling, as if someone with much love and passion is currently painting them and continuously adding color as he sees fit, and is now turning purple and then pink. The moon in the colorful sky slowly emerges through the clouds, while the sun slowly fades.

Who would even imagine that there is beauty in endings? This day might be ending soon, but when morning comes, another beginning awaits you, and I'll wait for my new chance as well.

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After a while, I gathered my things and stood up. I told Piper she could go home first, as I have somewhere else to stop by. She looked at me confused, as I rarely do things and I don't go out much so I shrugged and said, "I remembered I'm out of good books recently. You see, I'm tired of reading all those business technicalities and my eyes are tired of seeing all the codes I have to study. Oh and also, as you always remind me,

I also believe that sometimes you need a little bit of fantasy to be happy. But,

I don't agree that only a real person can give it to you. You see, I can still experience romance through books." I winked at her and waved goodbye, and she just laughed at me with disbelief.

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The bookstore is just a few steps away from the coffee shop, so it won't take long. I put my earphones on and took in the scenery around me.

It's mid-autumn now, so it is a bit chilly, and my path is covered with leaves. I shivered as the wind hit me, realizing I am currently wearing a thin cotton top that doesn't fit the weather. I walked slowly and observed every person that passed by me.

As I walked, I saw a couple seated on the bench under the lamppost looking lovingly at each other, and I found myself smiling at the sight of it. The world is not that messed up, I guess. I never saw my parents act sweet with each other; I guess even their marriage is just business, so seeing such a sight now makes me believe that a lot of things are possible; I just haven't experienced it yet.

Looking at them, I then had a sudden thought that soon, I also want to experience it, but if there's someone I want to be with, this guy should atleast love the songs on my playlist, which, unfortunately, I have never met. Mostly, I hear people playing only popular songs, and when someone hears mine, they would say it's their first time hearing it and look uninterested.

For me, music is not just about the melody, but most specifically, it's the message it delivers to its listeners. In most songs I prefer, it actually speaks the words I don't dare to say out loud. Music that can connect to you personally, isn't that wonderful? And if ever I'll find someone, wouldn't it be nice to communicate through music? Where at times you just silently sit together, but still can understand each others heart.

🎶I can write a thousand words

To express how I feel.

But you'll never hear it from me.

Unless you can read my eyes,

They show much,

But you may not understand.

My eyes can't speak.

Maybe if you're sensitive enough,

You'll feel what it says.🎶