introduction and chapter 1

The world, life and women, if you go along with them, make sure that you are going in the wrong way, but it is okay if you are with her, at least, there will be someone to comfort me, and this is better than I take the right path while I am alone. Isn't that what anyone would have done? After all, we are neither angels nor demons. We are a mixture of many things that we ourselves cannot understand, but with another person by your side, you can understand your truth more. Each of you can be a mirror to show the other's truth. But what if this mirror was broken? What if this mirror is just a trick that shows you your biggest desires and deludes you that you have reached them and fulfilled them, then there is no choice but to give up your life and fall to the bottom of Hell....

Chapter 1:

The alarm clock rings at 6 o'clock, announcing the end of a journey and the beginning of a new one.

The last section of a long stretched-out excursion.

I got up after a long struggle with the bitter truth because I didn't really sleep tonight. It may be trivial or not worth it to some people, but it is the same for me.

This is my last year in high school and I have to succeed no matter what happens, and at the same time from what I heard, this should be the best year of my life. Well, in fact, some say it is the best 3 years of your life, but I am a contented person. One year of happiness is enough for me.

I washed my face and my teeth, and then I put on new clothes that fit with this special event or this is what I imagined. In fact, I did not find in myself the desire to eat or taste anything, and despite my mother's urgent attempts, I refused categorically on the pretext that my stomach hurts and I went to my father's car to take me to the bus station.

My parents were wonderful people and very understanding. Well I can't say I wasn't a wonderful person either. I've been an obedient boy my whole life and even if I dig deep into my memory I can't see that I caused them a problem one day. That sounds great, it's been 18 years, and I haven't caused any trouble. What a great person. I'm great. While I was drowning in these thoughts, my father's voice interrupted me.

"We have arrived at exactly the time, the bus is leaving there and you catch it quickly and also have a great day"

And he put his hand into his pocket, taking out some dinars, and put them on the palm of my hand. Well this will definitely make for a great day

"Thank you," I said in a voice that I tried to gather as much energy as possible, then closed the door and headed towards the bus.

And as usual, it was no different from previous years, but rather it got worse with the passage of days.

They even brought us a bus that was smaller than usual, saying that there were fewer students. I don't know exactly what the presidents are thinking, I'm sure they use their thick ass for sitting all the time instead of their brains if they have brains at all and the strange thing is also that the more stupid and ignorant you are, the more prestige and popularity you will get. It seems that humanity is heading towards the abyss already, were it not for the protection of God.

Also, with my beginnings in this bus, I used to see the clear features of the division between girls and boys. The place was two separate or antagonistic countries. The girls sit in the front of the bus while the boys sit in the back. Despite this division, this instinct and instinct is what I hoped The boys should occupy the rear of the place, as they are the shield that protects this country. As for the girls, because of the cleverness of their minds, they choose to sit in the front, trying to steer the ship towards safety, since they are sure that their backs are protected. As I think about this strange and seemingly meaningless thing until I think about the transformation that has taken place here, the girls have mixed with the boys. This generation has grown up and was brought up in this bus. A large part of their memories are linked to this moving piece of iron in every chair, window or iron pole. You can dig up memories and open their symbols, and certainly this bus was not a hotbed for this generation only, but was a gathering field. Memories of people before us and I'm sure it will be a beautiful place for those who come after us

I seem to have thrown my thoughts away for a piece of iron swinging on some rubber wheels.

I tried to give up this matter and these thoughts, because of this I did not have friends, I might do in the first days, but nothing prevents them from abandoning someone who bothers you with their silence

Silently and straying like me.

And at the moment when I stand in front of the door of the department, I thought about giving up these behaviors. I have a bigger goal this year. I want to succeed first and also I have to have many friends and also maybe I find one girl who can really love me. This hurts. Am I so ugly though I'm sure I have a fair amount of good looks but who knows maybe my eyes are deceiving me. So what do I do? Is there anyone who can describe my appearance frankly? I don't think so. If you ask anyone, they will surely tell you that you are the most handsome at all. I'm sure they don't have bad intentions behind that, but no one has the courage to take responsibility for his words, and that's why everyone pretends against what they think, They are afraid to leave the herd to them, I'm sure they have not experienced the splendor of loneliness before so I don't blame them and.........

"Are you not going in, I'm sure I didn't ask for a pole to be installed in front of the door," the teacher called sarcastically while the rest of the students laughed.

I can't deny it. This was a bad joke to the extreme. This is pretending. The students have no choice but to laugh. This will strengthen their relationship based on hypocrisy. That's nice, isn't it?

"Ah, good morning, professor, how are you, I'm sure you didn't ask for a pole, in fact, you'd better ask them to widen the door so that you can get out without trouble." I said with a sarcastic look and entered the class at the end. But it seems that I have predetermined the nature of the relationship that will be between us. Also the rest of the students must think that I am a naughty person and will stir up trouble. Those who are only interested in studying and spoiled children will avoid me, while the rest who can't stand studying will try to get close to me and try to enter their small community,

I'm really sorry but leave me out of this nonsense 🙏

It's eight in the morning and from this moment the new school year officially begins and well it seems that everyone has found a partner to sit with already

Well, it's so wonderful, it seems like I'm going to sit alone, in fact, you can't ask for anything more. I'm on a different level of well-being than you folks.

Damn, I can't believe how stupid I was with this, you should've seen my facial expressions at the time.

Even if someone decides to sit next to me, he will change his mind, especially if it is a girl who will think that she cannot secure herself by my side 🙂

Anyway, this was a joy that came from the heart.

The fat teacher started recording the attendees and the names of the absent in the end, everyone was harmed, except for a single girl. She must have had a significant amount of laziness that made her miss the first day. I won this challenge today, but I can't let her win again.

And at this very time I learned that this girl is a danger lurking in me and trying to make me share this treasure with him. It is impossible to let her sit with me. This table is mine alone. I am sure that she will beg me a lot in the end. I am the only one in this place who is happy to be alone, but I doubt others can do that. So if she comes to beg me, it will be easy, I will refuse immediately, and if I try stubbornly, and this is what I want, I will take advantage of her. She will do all the homework and bring books

What a wonderful person and how tender I am going to rid her of this loneliness she is living in. I kept saying these words with pride.

Until several days passed and this girl did not come until I began to lose hope gradually, but in any case this will not affect me in any way.

About a week later, on Tuesday, while we were studying Arabic, a new girl entered the department. But how do I describe it? Her looks were completely different from what I imagined her hair was long black and she is of medium height she is about my height or a few centimeters shorter well this does not bode well at all and most important of all she does not wear glasses 🤓 How the hell can you call her a girl when she She doesn't wear glasses but.... I can't describe it. I know it's impossible for me to even be attracted to her but..... I don't know. Maybe because she's ignoring me and sitting alone on the other side of the section has hurt my pride. Her facial features weren't normal, she wasn't the friendly type, or is she? The features of her face and eyes do not express anything, but she is beautiful in her own way.

I can tell some of what people are thinking based on their movements because I have the role of watcher all the time so maybe I'll just watch it. It's interesting and I can't let it slip away so easily.