A 6000 year old virgin

Ok so I open my eyes and it seems I'm in some sort of white room and seated across me on the other side of the room is some old guy who somehow looks like all the old people I've ever met, the old guy is crossing his legs abd sitting on the ground while sipping green tea, he then begins talking "so allow me to introduce myself l, I'm...", "god" I quickly interrupt him, there's a disappointed and confused look on his face, "what gave me away", he asks with furrowed eyebrows, I'm basically holding in a laugh, "if manga and anime is right which they are, you basically look like they based the drawings of all issekai supreme beings on you, first there's the white long beard and ofcourse you stroking the white long beard in a pretensous manner", he still doesn't get it but proceeds to move past my subtle remarks on how very original he is for still stroking his beards.

"OK, so as you know", "I died when I was hit by the 4 wheeled monster and this place should be some intermediate between heaven, hell and reincarnation into another world", he's basically more confused now, "how the hell do you know about my job more than me", I shrug and say "aren't you omniscient, how the hell am I supposed to know", "it doesn't work thag way", he says sarcastically, I know about everything I create directly, the indirectly created things are still a mystery to me", "damn, that means they lied to me Sunday school", I say, "now isn't the time to be worried about Sunday school, you should be more worried about if you'll reincarnate into another world or go to heaven", its as if all the days I wasted productive time watching anime, reading manga and manwha and loosing my social skills as a person had led me to this moment, "I'd go with reincarnating with the best stats, I basically want to be very op", he nods and starts blushing, I then notice that he's looking at my tighs and last I checked, my upper leg hadn't morphed into eyes while I was talking, damn god is a pervert, who knew.

ok so I have one mission now, tease god until he makes me op, he's basically a 6000 year old virgin, so I stand up and Whisper in his ear "Kami_sama would you do me a favour", he swallows a lump of saliva, "what do you want", "make me op more than anyone that's ever reincarnated and I'll make you happy", he stands up and girds his loins, "Ewwww, no that's not what I meant, someone's getting a little ahead of himself", "how I'll make you happy is by dancing for you", I Whisper to him," ok I'll do it" he says.

"OK so I'm about, to give you half of my powers", he says, I Whisper to him in a seductive tone breathing warm breaths in his ear, "I want more", he's clearly sweating now and swallowing a nonexistent lumps in his throat, "I'll give you most of my power but you have to give me a special reward", he says, I make a gesture to make it look like I'm making a tough choice, when I'm satisfied with my acting I instantly say "yes, I'll do it, as a special reward I'll peck your cheek", he instantly beams, christ how is he so "virginly"(virginly is not a real word, I came up with it and I'm thinking of trademarking it, sorry I've already trademarked it), like the guy is over 6000 years old, why hasn't he created a pathner to smash, if I was god I would probably have created someone to smash to take away my virginity, not give all my powers to some beautiful girl so she could dance and probably kiss my cheek, now that I think of it, that's a very unfair trade, "ok so we'll start the power transference now", he says I'm all excited about being OP but I try to regain my composure, "ok what do I do", I ask, "first, stretch out your hands" I do as I'm told and close my eyes for sometime, "ok I'm done with the power transference", he whispers in my ear, I cringe for obvious reasons, i don't feel like I've gotten powerful, so I try to test my powers, so I try to test my hypothesis, if this guy really gave me all his powers then that mean I'm basically god and I can do anything and I'm basically OP, so I close my eyes and try to create the biggest flame ball I've ever imagined, I suddenly feel a warmth on my face and open my eyes to see this huge ball of fire on my palms, "ok so I've done my part of the deal, now it's your turn to do your part", he says, "There's no way in hell I'm doing that, I mean you're basically powerless and can't make me do shit", the look of sadness on his face is priceless, "you can't do this", he screams, "well I just became god and I'm an independent woman who technically got her godly powers from a supreme being who identifies as a male, so I can bloody hell do as I please", I interject, he's very pained and has a desperate look on his face, he tries to do something with his hands but nothing happens, "that's my cue to leave", I tell him.

ok so how do I leave this place, since I'm god I can do anything right, so that means I can create a portal to another dimension where magic exists, ok so I close my eyes and concentrate and try to open up the portal, the portal opens and I see him kneeling down, "please don't break your promise, don't do this", he begs, "I guess this won't be the first time god doesn't answer prayers", I reply cooly, damn that was a good line I say to myself and then I step into the portal and suddenly I'm I'm a dark hallway, and there's a light at the end of the hallway and the only way to move is forward and I'm not moving on my own, I feel powerless, and then suddenly I'm met with eyes, a man's eyes, "turn her let me see if she takes after her mother", a woman says, she looks at me gasps, "wow, she has godlike beauty, she looks nothing like any of us", "bring her let me see", a man asks, he carries me and gasps, "wow, she's going to give boys a real problem", "honey she's barely a day old and you're already starting with the boy talk", she says, "I'm just stating facts and I'd keep a close eye on all males around her", he says, "who knows she may like girls", the woman says, they both take a pause and start laughing, "Emily", she says, the man wears a puzzled look on his face, "I'll call her Emily, it feels right for some reason, like her name can't be anything else other than Emily", the woman says, "OK, if you say so", the man agrees with the woman.

This was my first experience with my new family and I was excited to begin this very cliché adventure