A Time lap to a sassy five year old

ok so when I was two weeks old I destroyed my house library and my parents were so impressed by my genius that they've basically been treatinh me like the god I am. So I'm currently 2 months old and I still can't wait to when I turn 18 and be mad hot, I know they say that the years are going to fly by and you won't know how much time has gone until you're 45 with 6 children and a back ache that makes batmans back after being broken by bane seem like a walk in the park(yh I have a crush on Christian bane, I've had it it ever since I watched American psycho, if you're going to be number 4 kill on a serial killers list, he should at least have Christian banes teeth, if not then it's just plain murder and nothing artistic).

Moving on, god I get distracted so easily, ok so I'm living the soft life, my parents answer my every wish and they don't scold me. I've been waiting for them to do the routine thing and get me a teacher, it's weird that they haven't gotten me one, it usually takes no more than 2 weeks for the parents to hire a teacher for the genius child after said genius child has expressed her explosive amount of power. Well all things considered I'm not even up to a year, and maybe they don't want to push their child too much or maybe they don't want me figuring out how I don't need them but it'd already too late.

I know I don't need them I'm an independent woman well legally speaking I'm more of an independent toddler who technically got her powers from a male but that doesn't matter I'm still independent and I still want to topple the patriarchy.

Well I'm still not able to talk and I still have zero control over my bodily functions(by this I mean can't control when or where I go number one or number two), I can't walk but I can crawl but my knees usually get sore, so I don't do that very much, so If I want to move I cry and get picked up by whichever of my parents hear me cry and then I point in the direction that I want to go, so far so good this has been a very effective means of transportation.

My daily routine is crying my parents awake, it feels good being a human alarm clock, being washed while my mum tells me how precious I am, being breast fed(I've gotta say I'm really pro breastmilk) and then go about my day till I get tired and fall asleep In my spare time which is everytime(its not like I have a job or something).

On other days I read and study the only spellbook we have in my newly renovated house library that may or may not have been renovated because someone burt it down. Moving on I've basically almost finished practicing all the spells in the book and yes I didn't destroy anything this time.

So I repeat the cycle over and over again until I slowly loose track of time and before I know it I'm five, I guess what they say is true, "time really does fly when you're a 1 month old baby", my parents still treat me like a princess and my life's still going great, I can talk and I can control my bodily functions and I can write, my parents don't know this yet but I've been practicing my handwriting skills in the library and I've got to say that my current handwriting is better than the handwriting I used in my pre-reincarnated world, goes to show that handwritings can be effortlessly changed but you need to be reincarnated with your memories intact.

So we're having one of our very average dinners as usual when my mother says "Honey don't you think It's time she got a teacher", my ears suddenly move up to amplify any other incoming sounds, "sweetheart she's five and don't you think we're rushing things", he says, this isn't having sex after the first date, I'm not sure you're rushing anything, "but don't you think we're holding her back", my mother interjects", "Mum what am I ready for", I innocently ask my mother with puppy dog eyes, "it's just parent talk", my Dad answers, "Honey let Emily decide", my mum says, "OK Emily, would you like to learn how to use magic", my dad asks me, I pretend to take some time to reflect on thus question and answer "Yes I would ", "see Honey she is ready", "OK, only because that's what Emily wants",my dad says. I personally feel my mum wants to quickly have something I'm common with me, cause she's also a practitioner of magic or wizard or mage, I'm not sure what they call people who practice magic in this world.

"ok so what teacher do you have in mind", my dad asks my mother, "Oh there's this young female mage that everyone is talking about, apparently she doesn't teach children unless she's impressed by their talent" my mum says excitedly, "Then I'm sure Emily would really put her into shock", my dad says half jumping. The two of them look really excited and it's me that's learning not them.

I'm anxious to finally start learning magic from someone who I can hear actual words from, the spellbook doesn't usually reply me when I ask it a question.

I'm also nervous that I won't be able to impress her enough, I mean from the conversation I hear between my parents she's only ever taken 3 students in a space of 5 years and it usually takes 3 months to train someone on how to use magic so it's a very small number, which is really making me more nervous.

I know what I'm going to do, I'm going to create an ice storm that way, I won't just impress her, I'd be her favourite student even among all her future students.

So my plan is simple, according to my mum she's coming to our house this Friday(and todays Wednesday), she's going to ask me to show her what I've got. I'd then take her to our backyard and make an average snow storm that way she would be more than impressed.

so I just have to prepare for two days or I'm not sure I need to prepare I'm basically OP, I'll just call an ice storm in my mind and it'll happen, so that's that, I'm so excited for Friday to come.

Thursday is really a blur I didn't do much, just played outside with the bunnies(I really like bunnies), and pretended to be interested by the stories my dad told me, this was actually very easy all you have to do is say "Woah, that's crazy.....interesting " and you'll have my father fooled that you're listening, Men like having conversation with themselves so this method usually works.

The next day is Friday and me and my family are having breakfast when there's a knock on our door and immediately my anxiety levels sky rocket from a five to a ninety five. "That must be the teacher, I'll get it", my mum says, "let's also join in and welcome her, come Emily let's welcome your new teacher".

We all open the door together and standing in front of us is a 5,10 woman probably in her twenties with green hair, a cute nose and soulful eyes and she's really pretty.

"Welcome to our home teacher", I say shyly, "I presume this is the person I'm judging to see if she's worth being tutored by me", she says proudly, "yes miss lola, our Emily here is quite gifted", my dad says, "I doubt she is, lots of parents think their children are special simply because they gave birth to them", she says, my mum cuts in to say "now miss Lola I'll..." but is quickly interrupted by miss lola who says, "If everybody was special the term special wouldn't apply, isn't that right Emily", now she's looking at me "um I don't know mam, I'm just 5 years old", I say innocently.

"OK let's see what you've got", miss lola says, screw whatever plan I had two days ago, I'm going to create the biggest ice storm this world has ever seen. My earlier feeling of nervousness was filled with rage at how she talked to my parents, only me gets to belittle them. I made it my mission to wipe that smug look off her face, I'm going to have the last laugh in whatever dance she just invited me to and by the end of today she's going to be the one begging me.

"OK maam I'll show you what I can do", I honestly say, "show what you've got", my mum and dad echo, it's a really good feeling having your parents cheer for you, I just hope I can make them proud and in the corner of my eye I see my dad wink at me and my confidence skyrockets from a 14 to a 107 and I'm ready to show this bitch what I'm made of.