Derek ignored the knocking on his door for as long as possible, choosing instead to continue playing his piano as if the person outside didn't exist. It was nighttime, and the heavy curtains he'd bought and hung prevented him from seeing who'd decided to show up on his porch at eleven o'clock at night. On the plus side, it also prevented them from looking in and seeing him.
At first he thought it might have been Layla, but he doubted she'd be showing up on his doorstep again any time soon. Even if it was her, he didn't think he could face her again.
It had killed him to see her leave the way she did, tears marring her beautiful face because of him. But he'd been so pissed at her.
He was still pissed. He'd wanted her to tell him about whatever it was that had her so terrified of a cigarette, but he couldn't really blame her for not opening up...in the heat of an argument wasn't really the best time to build trust.
But still, he'd hoped.
She tried to hide it behind a veneer of disgust and reserve, but when he'd put the cigarette to his lips, he could see the fear in her eyes for what it was.
Derek knew he was a hypocrite for wanting her to confide in him. It wasn't like he was upfront with her about the house or his reasons for being there. She still didn't know he was here because he was grieving the loss of his last living parent.
Since Layla didn't seem to think he belonged there, he could have just put the house right back up for sale, or even let the thing sit there to rot. The money meant nothing to him. But he wanted the house damn it.
He wanted her even more.
So no, he wasn't going anywhere.
Maybe it was too late to fix things with Layla, but at least he fix the house instead.
Derek's fingers moved across the keys in a series of dissonant chords, echoing the chaos he felt inside. He frowned.
They still weren't right. He'd been trying all day to replicate the exact sounds Layla's hands and breasts had hammered from the piano's strings as he'd used her, but so far every combination he'd tried had come out shallow and empty.
He ran his hand over his face. Fuck it. Maybe the chords weren't the ones who were shallow and empty. Maybe what he was really hearing was himself.
The pounding on the door changed to a rhythm with a funky triplet feel. "We know you're in there, bro. You might as well open up. You know I can keep this up all night if I have to."
Derek wasn't happy to hear the voice shouting through the closed door, but he couldn't say it was a surprise that they tracked him down. He gave the chords one more shot, still unsatisfied with the results, then dragged himself to the door.
He flicked on the porch light, then swung the door open to see Wolf braced on the door frame, holding himself up with a hand on each side, his blond hair noticeably longer and scruffier than the last time they saw each other.
His name was actually Wolfgang, after Mozart himself. His mother was a concert pianist, and if she was disappointed her only child took to the drums instead, she never showed it. The name suited him. The drummer, with his tall, muscular frame, always gave the illusion of taking up almost every inch of free space no matter where he was.
Many people fell powerless to the combination of his large size and his even larger personality, but Derek was immune. He'd known the guy since third grade, and he didn't care how tall he'd gotten. Wolf would always be that boy who Derek saved from a wedgie on the first day of school.
The drummer's face split into a grin at his victory. "Ha, ha...found you."
Seth, Morphium's red-haired lead guitarist and most of the time lead singer, stood behind Wolf, his arms folded across his chest. His mouth had an irreverent and slightly angry set to it as he looked around as if he'd never seen a wrap around porch before, which was bullshit because Derek knew for a fact the house where Seth grew up had a wrap around porch even bigger than this one.
Dude was probably just irritated because he had to spend at least eight hours in the car with Wolf without anyone else to buffer the onslaught of energy.
Seth's eyes lingered on the brand new porch railing. The bare wood of the spindles, which Derek had worked on nonstop since his fight with Layla, stood out next to the peeled forest green of the rest of the porch.
"I didn't want to be found." Derek stepped aside, allowing his band mates and childhood friends to come inside.
Wolf pulled a rolled up paper from his back pocket and waved it in the air windshield wiper-style. "Then you shouldn't have left behind this clue."
"What's that?"
Wolf unrolled the paper, which Derek instantly recognized as the page from the road atlas that had led him to this town. The drummer shoved his hand in his front pocket and pulled out a red thumbtack. "You left this in it so we would know where to find you. Plus your sister gave me the address. She made us promise not to bother you, but it's been weeks. I bet she's forgotten about that by now. If not, I'll butter her up into forgiving me...she always does."
Derek frowned.
"Uh-uh." Seth folded his arms across his chest. "You don't get to be pissed at her. She's been worried shitless about you. You couldn't even wait twenty-four hours after your dad's funeral to take off...she needed you. You barely return her calls. You haven't returned ours at all."
Seth's words knocked the fight out of him. He was right. Derek had basically abandoned his sister when she needed him most. They were twins.
For the last eight years--since Morphium had begun to hit it big--he sure as hell hadn't acted like her twin. He ran his hand through his hair. Yup. He was the world's worst brother. World's worst son, too.
"I did talk to her on the phone. I told her I needed some space. I asked her if she'd be okay..." When he said it out loud, they sounded exactly like the excuses they were.
Seth shook his head. "Let me guess...she said she'd be fine. Well, what the fuck did you expect her to say?"
"Where is she now? I should call her."
"Don't worry. Adam's been taking care of her." Wolf headed into the parlor turned music room and flopped down on the couch Derek had just had delivered that morning. "We've been checking in, too. She'll forgive you. Everyone handles grief differently, and apparently you handle it by running away and acting like a little bitch. You know...pretending the people who care about you don't exist."
A tiny bit of his guilt eased. Adam was like a brother to him, even more that Seth and Wolf. Of course he'd step in and act like a brother to Rose when Derek was too wrapped up in his own problems to notice how much she needed him. He just wondered why Adam hadn't mentioned it.
"That's not what I've been doing. I just needed some time to myself."
Wolf kicked off his shoes and stretched his legs out on Derek's new coffee table. Over the course of the last week, Derek had furnished the entire house, from the kitchen to the bedroom, and he'd even cleaned out the shed in the back yard so he could move his makeshift indoor workshop out there.
The drummer looked around the room, raising his eyebrows at the grand piano. "Apparently you needed more than that. Did you really buy this place?"
Derek folded his arms across his chest. "It has a turret."
Seth ran his hand over the top of the piano. Derek could tell most of his friend's anger was gone now that he'd had his say. "Nice instrument. And nice work on the porch. You've been busy, I take it."
That was as close as Seth would get to asking how Derek was holding up. They knew each other well enough to know that if one of them wanted to talk about something they'd bring it up themselves.
"Yeah." Derek tried to give Seth a reassuring smile, but he ended up clenching his jaw instead.
He tracked his friend's fingers as they slid along the lid to the keyboard. He shouldn't feel territorial about a piano, but he didn't want his friend touching it. He didn't want anyone touching it. That piano belonged to him and Layla.
He almost laughed out loud, earning a curious look from Wolf, who had stretched his arms along the back of the couch, claiming it as his own. Who was he kidding? There was no him and Layla, and there never would be.
The tension in Derek's chest eased when Seth left the piano to sit in one of the new armchairs. "So...what are your plans?" Seth said.
I want to stay here. I want to make a life I can never have.
"I don't know. I was thinking to fix the place up and put it back on the market. There's a lot of wood here. A lot of work. I don't know how long it will take, but I think I need that...the work."
Seth nodded.
Derek had expected some kind of comment about how they needed to get back in the studio to start that follow up album they'd been talking about for the last six months. He hadn't expected a simple nod of agreement.
Well, shit. Derek picked up his cell phone from the end table--also new--and dialed his sister's number.
"Derek?" She answered on the first ring.
"Hey. Sorry for calling so late."
"No...it's okay. I'm glad you called." The relief in her voice kicked him in the stomach. He'd been so worried about doing what he wanted to do, he hadn't even thought about how the first thing he should have wanted to do was to be there for her.
"I've been a shitty brother."
He heard a male voice in the background. A pause. "It's okay," Rose said. "I love you anyway."
"We need to talk. I want things to be different between us now."
Another pause. "Yeah...me too. We can talk when we get there."
"We?"
"Me and Adam are on our way. We left as soon as I could get off work, but I can guess that Seth and Wolf beat us."
Adam. That made sense. Looked like his short-lived attempt at a solitary existence was about to be good and over.
"Yup. Making themselves at home as we speak." Derek glared at Wolf, who waggled his eyebrows and stretched out even more.
"About that...I know you wanted to stay off the grid, but everyone was so worried," Rose said. "And you know how persistent Wolf can be..."
"Like a dog that won't leave you alone," Derek grumbled.
"That's right," Wolf said loud enough for Rose to hear. "She was powerless to my charms."
"Keep your charms away from my sister." Derek shoved Wolf's arm out of the way and sat next to him.
Rose laughed. "We'll be there tomorrow. Adam's too tired to drive all night."
"Okay. See you then. Look for the house with the awesome turret."
"Love you, Derek."
"Love you, too." Derek hung up, deciding to check his missed texts while he was still in the mood to reach out to people.
A couple from his manager, one from Rose warning him that the guys were on their way down, but nothing else. His finger hovered over the new text button. It would be so easy to reach out to Layla...he wanted to reach out to her...but he didn't know what to say. He clicked the lock button instead.
Wolf clapped his hands together. "Alright, then. That's settled. Everyone loves everyone else. Now where do you go for a beer around here."