Suffering of a Psychopath Pt. 3

My dad was the boss of the most notorious gang in Guagua, where he grew up. When he was in the early stages of his life as a young teenager, he was already the most notorious gang leader of Pampanga. He was also known to join a fraternity in his later years before dropping out of college, where he got a cattle mark of a Peso coin in the middle of his chest that shows he is a respected member of his gang.

He was an alcoholic, a drug abuser, a smoker, and a man charmed by all women he could take as well as a considerable criminal who's been in jail a few times already. The true definition of a functioning sociopath. Until I was born, he stopped it all.

He has all connections with his old gang in Guagua. I admired him for following his footsteps when I was younger because I was a little weakling who often gets bullied a lot and unable to fight back due to my defection since born with too much metabolism where no matter how much I eat. I am still skinny to the bone where I get made fun of, and even fighting back does nothing to hurt my enemies.

Dad is hugely buff, like a rock. I could tell he's just like Dwayne Johnson. I didn't have his strength, but what he didn't have was my smarts, wits, and intelligence. Instead of resolving problems to extreme violence like my father, I used manipulation as my primary trait in society until I got the hang of it.

Until he met my mother, a slightly mental woman who had anxiety and high blood pressure that quickly snapped and became far fierce and more terrifying as she would lash out psychotically hysterically than my own father.

Who got shot, stabbed, tortured, and beaten up most of his early years? He never cried even once. Until the day he found out I was mentally unstable, that's what broke his heart.

Then the two of them fell in love. He stopped playing with other women and became very loyal to my mother. Then got married and gave birth to the offspring of the most unstable psychopath ever.

That psychopath was intelligent, creative, intelligent until bullies got him where his downfall escalated fast. He wanted to be like his father's image and started doing all the most juvenile delinquent rule-breaking things everywhere. Not even his own father went that far.

Still, what he can't do is fight back to stand up for himself because he knows he will get beaten up by his own weakness, which is his frail and bone skinny body. Now he had planned ahead before going back outside to the real world after gaining insight on why his father never let him out.

Not because of his mental instability, it was not just because he was a menace to society and to himself, with all his edgy knives and mentality along with his extreme behaviour. But it was because he was being mistreated and belittled by all of his friends in the gangs he joined. They are toxic emotional manipulators, and Klei wished he knew better until now.

The only gangs he failed to join are those who give the initiation process to test his strength, which fails to do so, such as the "Jumpin'in" method. The entire gang would give repetitive beatings for some time to see if he was capable of being tough enough to fight them all back by himself.

This is the actual reason why his father never let him outside, and Klei doesn't know that until then on. So he planned ahead instead of training boxing at home. Since he doesn't have a coach to train him.

The way he planned out was to go to Guagua as usual. Since his father's gang members from the past are like his spies to notify him to know what's going on around Klei and what he is doing.

Klei doesn't really know how his father figures it out, how he knows everything he does outside, so he can't do anything extremely out of the ordinary. Until, of course, his dad had to spoil the surprise to tell him, which caused him to think sneakier than his previous methods.

Each time they go outside together, he notices that his father sees unknown people respectfully greet him. He figures out that it was his old gangster friends.

They always talk to him as if he is an old friend and offer invites to go out and drink with them. As always expected, his father refuses each time, saying he doesn't drink anymore.

Klei is the reason why his father changed. But Klei never changes for his father, nor for himself. It was all a facade, a mask, a fake identity, acting good and obedient just so he could be finally outside of the house. But each first day of going outside again, he fails to impress his father by binge drinking, smoking too much, taking drugs, bringing knives, and making a fool out of himself.

Klei started to plan carefully what he needed to do.

He planned to go to his grandma's house since it was his first plan in the beginning. His Grandma, where his father grew up in Santo Nino, Guagua. The outskirts of Guagua Town, where the public market is located. There are two counterparts in the general market. West are the crazy gangster young adults who smokes speed, meth, crack, and snort cocaine.

Stimulants and such. While in the East is where Klei met them. The time where his father kicked him outside of the house until his father felt guilty for what he did and started to go look for him. Which of course, he knew where he was going to be, Guagua mostly, but he didn't get to find him until his uncle in his Grandma's house called to pick him up when he decided to stay in for the night or probably live there since he got banned from entering his own home again.

That night was terrible for him. He didn't have any friends. He went to strangers and manipulated them, charmed them, and pretended to be their friend just to give him money for what? Coffee and cigarettes, not food, not money to have a place to stay, not even something to use for something convenient and valuable for his daily survival in the streets as a homeless person. He also bought beer for himself and drank in public, where he got drunk.

He cares none but to get intoxicated and nothing else. In the end, he didn't have any friends, but at least the East gang of Santo Nino outskirts helped him have a place to stay for the day where they all smoked weed, LSD, shrooms, DMT, and other psychedelics.

After they all left, telling him the most advisable and best thing to do was to go back home since they all knew except for Klei that he would be forgiven, and his father would apologise to him as long as Klei apologised first. They knew that his father still cared about him despite Klei's delusionally thinks.

Klei even dared to lie about his own father being mentally unstable to make them think he's the abuser and Klei is the victim. Still, Klei is the mentally deranged psychotic psychopath here. He even pleaded as if he was in danger of his life by his father and is lost where he expected that someone would have the big heart to help him, but when someone helps him, he acts as if he has no problems at all, showing his true dark nature.

But the plan was so grandiose, self-absorbing, self-entitled, narcissistic, and unrealistic. This was Klei's mentality from before. But now, he's gained insight into his mentality. He is more stable, but his plans are far more ahead than anyone would anticipate. Klei is brilliant. The problem is his ego and grandiose self-worth. His selfishness is surely making him look like a villain.

But this is not the story of how a reasonable person had his spiralling downfall into a villain. But how a villain with a terrible past made him learn from his mistakes and be an anti-hero. Whilst discreetly doing more damage to society with his new fake identity, who's purely empathic and uses it as his advantage to gain more friends.

He will teach his new friends how their behaviour, mindset, actions, words, and emotions work for him to respect them despite what they are, no matter with his masquerade alternative personality. And make them feel comfortable around him by pretending to empathise with them to dissect them and make them feel safe around him until he uses those to his advantage. But in a good way, probably.

Klei now learns that the world doesn't revolve around him. It never did.

After leaving the East gang's house because he couldn't stay there for the night, he went to find another home from random people he expected to help by pretending to be a lost puppy.

When he met the North gang, he was bullied, played with, manipulated with, and Klei just snapped. He looked behind him and shouted a death threat, refusing to face them because he knew deep inside he was scared because of the anxiousness and expectations of an entire gang about to jump on him.

Then, the North gang asked intimidatingly, "What the hell did you say to me?!"

Then Klei slowly looked at them, turning his head with the crazy looks in his eyes. They backed up as they were shrinking.

"Just… just leave… and never come back." they said.

Klei left and wept from what happened. He never wanted this. Because deep inside, he only wanted actual friends. But he couldn't help himself from his alter ego trying to take over and do such malicious acts from his dark intentions.

He wanted actual friends because he's been locked up and isolated ever since he dropped out of college in 2014, and he is now 22 years old today. First was the mental rehab. Then at home. Then he gets "one last chance" every week to a month, then to a year, then forever until today. He finally was let outside after the pandemic ended due to his extreme behaviour in the outside world.

Klei… never changes. It's always the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results. It is his own definition of insanity. Absolute madness.

Now his only problem left is his identity crisis because as a people pleaser and a sociopath who knows how to make personas and fake identities to manipulate people for a very long time. Especially towards his own family to impress them enough to let him out.

He lost his true self. So, today… he made up a new dissociative identity, naming himself the slang for unpredictable behaviour and another term for the joker card since his laugh sounds exactly like the iconic villain from DC Comics. He called himself "Wild Card". Now his journey begins on 1st January 2021...