Self-Medication Pt. 1

I thought I could solely depend on just marijuana for my psychotic episodes. But it turns out it induced psychosis and worsened my schizophrenia. So, I went to Reddit to vent about my stupid life story on r/sociopath. As edgy as this sounds, it is what it is.

Then, a day later, comments have piled up, and that's when they told me to get professional help. Even though they're sociopaths, they know my pain.

This is the exact same thing they've been through, so their empathy is selective, except for those edgy fake sociopaths that talk shit into my post just to prove they're sociopaths by acting like a complete asshole which makes them look like a stupid fool. I ignored them anyway and headed to my appointment.

That's where I met Sammy Biretta, my new psychiatrist. That's when I tried to charm her, but she was flattered. Sadly, she doesn't date her patients. So, I vented all my life story the way I did to that one stupid edgy Reddit post. And that's where she understood.

But sadly, my time was out. It's been an hour, and she told me to come back soon as I felt disappointed that she didn't let me finish my story and didn't even give me advice yet. I just let out a lot of steam, which helped me feel a bit relieved.

I could have just asked for a stupid friend on Discord to vent to or something. But sadly, they're mostly all underage for me to tell them my crappy mental issues to 14-year-olds online, which will make both parties uncomfortable. Especially the fact that I could easily trigger them because they have some mental issues themselves.

The internet ruined these kids, man. I'm telling you. These TikTok alt kids who self diagnose pretending to be triggered by something and act like they go psycho mode just for attention. I hate it because I suffer a real disorder, and they think it's cute and quirky. Jesus Christ!

I hate it. No one fucking laughs like Yuno Gasai from that one anime when they are triggered from some trauma and put fake blood all over them carrying kitchen knives and shit. Who the hell puts their face on the camera and laughs during a mental breakdown. Undoubtedly, real mentally ill people don't do that. They don't have the strength.

BUT HEY! IT'S OKAY! I'm sorry for being controversial, but I understand why these kids do it. They're suffering from some undiagnosed illness, and this is their way of coping, so I basically understand.

So, who am I to judge when I did the exact same thing during my 'FNAF Undertale Weeaboo Quiet Emo CreepyPasta Proxy Kid phase? I indeed had 8th Grade Syndrome before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and shit.

But hey, I'm only venting here, ranting about my shitty life. But who knows? Life can get better than long as you keep looking at the bright side of life, no matter what. Eventually, it will come to you.

Because you can't expect everyone to be friendly if you are nice to everyone. Not all people are the same. Some toxic people are assholes or probably trolls who have no life on the internet that never touched grass living under their mother's basement.

There could be friendly people that are open-minded to anything you tell them and understand you for who you indeed are despite your LGBTQ, black, poor, mentally ill, cringe, who cares. I'm neither on those sides, and I talk shit at people who disrespect me.

I don't care if you're ugly, poor, rich, beautiful, gay, lesbian, straight, black, white, Asian. As long as you respect me, I will be the nicest friend you'll have. I know I'm acting edgy, but this is just me. Being me…

See? I'm human, too, even though I'm an author that loves to write to everyone. I'm not some robot who expects to be their best all the time. I have my dark sides and human problems as well. Like that one time, Elon Musk was crying during an interview for something he did for a meme.

The interviewer got too serious with it, expecting him to be professional 24/7 just because he's famous. He's human too. He sees all more than anyone you could think.

Like that one time, he mentioned that we are already cyborgs because we are too attached to our phones and can't live without them and explained how he imagined life will be a dystopian future like one of those cyberpunk films you see in movies or read on books.

He fears the worse, and he wasn't the only genius who knew this. Stephen Hawking discovered this as well. The world is a mad world full of ignorant people who deny knowing the truth because they can't handle it.

And that's why I wrote a separate novel that is too controversial to be included here if I wanted it to be contracted.

I know I may be breaking the 4th wall here. But I just wanted to teach all of you a lesson.